Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

bestnameright

Search for a member

bestnameright

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2681
  • Number of comments : 193
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 6 posted

About bestnameright : I'm too awesome to describe in so little space.... But I guess I'll try. First off, yes I'm ginger and a Jew. I don't really care if you make jokes about it as long as they're not too serious and they're funny... On that note my favorite Jew joke is: why do Jewish men get circumcised? Because Jewish woman like everything 20% off! My favorite commenters on this site are: thesqueaky chipmunk (all time favorite), DocBastard, and Perdix. My profile picture is a painting of some presidents in a mural in DC where I live.

You can message me but you probably get a response because I mainly use the app (well now you'll always get a response since the app has messaging :). I don't mind some bad spelling and grammar but if it's really bad or we're having a comment war you're going to get called out. Hasn't this gone on for too long?

PS Please moderate FMLs, it leads to more recent FMLs to coming out soon!

bestnameright's page activity

Visits<b>elkelk</b> - 20 hours ago<b>lisaint</b> - the 08/19/2014 at 10:26am<b>RoseFox0029</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 9:15am<b>born_to_die</b> - the 08/06/2014 at 1:42pm<b>jazmin3012</b> - the 08/06/2014 at 1:27am<b>DawnofDark</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 11:01am<b>idkyiam</b> - the 06/11/2014 at 11:31pm<b>markcallanan_</b> - the 05/12/2014 at 1:44pm<b>Raelthelamb</b> - the 05/10/2014 at 11:52pm<b>whatsauser</b> - the 05/10/2014 at 7:02am<b>snazman12</b> - the 04/22/2014 at 2:12pm<b>MrDante</b> - the 04/17/2014 at 4:18pm<b>laurenalexis09</b> - the 03/19/2014 at 11:07pm<b>umidontrember</b> - the 03/19/2014 at 6:12pm<b>MichelleRuzicka</b> - the 02/23/2014 at 10:52am<b>ce1ine</b> - the 02/21/2014 at 2:21am<b>magmon</b> - the 01/07/2014 at 11:50am<b>NinjaFood</b> - the 12/14/2013 at 9:08pm

bestnameright's FML badges

One ring to rule them all

You submitted an FML that was successfully published on the website. This makes you an exceptional human being.

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

See all of bestnameright's badges

bestnameright's favorite FMLs

Today, an old guy approached me and asked if I had ever seen an elephant with white ears. I shook my head. He then pulled the pockets out of his shorts and whipped out his sex nose. FML

#19926709
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32575) - you deserved it (4113)

On 07/12/2012 at 2:40am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I woke up after my pregnant fiancée punched me in the face. Apparently, I rolled over in my sleep and knocked her out of bed. She is still pissed about it. FML

#19914147
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19827) - you deserved it (10611)

On 07/09/2012 at 11:09am - love - by randomguy (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend and sister fooling around in the shower together. Supposedly, she was sleepwalking, and he was trying to wake her up. FML

#19890528
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42135) - you deserved it (2771)

On 07/04/2012 at 12:40pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Prince Edward Island)

Today, my boyfriend and I were in bed making out. He then tried to unhook my bra. After a full minute of trying unsuccessfully, he shouted "Fuck you, bra!" before hiding his face in the pillows. FML

#19877341
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33000) - you deserved it (4780)

On 07/01/2012 at 7:08pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, I was assigned to work on a huge project with Michael. Michael refers to himself in the third person, constantly mumbles unintelligibly to himself, doesn't smile, laugh or make eye contact, and refuses to address me directly. I'll be stuck with him for about four months. FML

#19855807
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19576) - you deserved it (1918)

On 06/27/2012 at 12:53pm - work - by NoMagicMike (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I walked in on my mother stroking my cat and murmuring, "Don't worry, kitty. One day, you and I... we will rule." FML

#19734981
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26941) - you deserved it (2824)

On 06/04/2012 at 8:54pm - animals - by Scared (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I came out of the closet. I came out on Facebook to spare myself awkward conversations and gossip. I wrote a deeply meaningful status about my partner and my pride in who I was. The only responses were, "Lol", "Hacked", and similar remarks. FML

#19719368
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28235) - you deserved it (11534)

On 06/02/2012 at 2:50am - misc - by OutOfTheCloset - United States (Texas)

Today, I was at the laundromat when a huge, tattoo-covered man wearing nothing but denim booty shorts and a wife-beater sat down beside me. He stared at me for a while, before telling me all about how I reminded him of his "first prison bitch." FML

#19644212
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24725) - you deserved it (1900)

On 05/18/2012 at 10:35pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my boyfriend got so happy when he thought he'd finally given me an orgasm. I was covering an urge to sneeze. FML

#19620507
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25270) - you deserved it (3642)

On 05/14/2012 at 1:27am - intimacy - by sneezeattack (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my husband informed me that he has been purposely finishing before me in bed as a form of punishment for beating him at Mario Kart. FML

#19563136
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31407) - you deserved it (6136)

On 05/02/2012 at 11:46am - intimacy - by winnerwinner (woman) - United States

Today, I had to explain to a potential client that I wouldn't represent him, because suing his neighbor for calling him a pansy would get us laughed out of court and likely get me disbarred. His response was to get violent and threaten to sue me for violating his civil rights. FML

#19528006
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21817) - you deserved it (1804)

On 04/25/2012 at 4:50pm - work - by A Henderson (man) - United States

Today, I had to explain to a potential client that I wouldn't represent him, because suing his neighbor for calling him a pansy would get us laughed out of court and likely get me disbarred. His response was to get violent and threaten to sue me for violating his civil rights. FML

#19528006
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21817) - you deserved it (1804)

On 04/25/2012 at 4:50pm - work - by A Henderson (man) - United States

Today, it was my wedding day. With my best friend as the priest, she asked, "Do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband?" After saying I do, she then turned to him and asked, "Do you want to bang my friend?" Everyone laughed, except my already disapproving father. FML

#19514689
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27597) - you deserved it (4214)

On 04/23/2012 at 12:04am - love - by gottalovefriends - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I had to re-grade a student's assignments because neither he, nor his parents can read "Spanish." I'd written in cursive. FML

#19324505
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27484) - you deserved it (3575)

On 03/22/2012 at 1:13am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I washed my sheets. They wouldn't dry quick enough, so I had to use my old Buzz Lightyear sheets. My new girlfriend took it upon herself to become a damn psychic and pay me a surprise visit right there and then. FML

#19293658
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20114) - you deserved it (3744)

On 03/17/2012 at 12:22pm - love - by babysheets (man) - Uruguay (Montevideo)



FML's blog

  • AD_e's Illustrated FML
  • Hi gang ! It's Friday once more and time for us to go on a magical mystery tour around the brain of yet another illustrator. This week, things have happened around the world that were so depressing, I don't…

Monday 18 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: