Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?


Offline (the 11/27/2015 at 2:37pm) | Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 5559
  • Number of comments : 86
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 4 posted

About besosforme : Most of my favorite people on this site seem to have disappeared in the last 5+ years. =[
I know that if the actual FMLs don't make me laugh, the commenters definitely will. My favorites (some no longer with us, sadly) are: pendatik, DocBastard, TheIrishJaneDoe, perdix, every1luvsboners, RedPillSucks, KaySL, and occasionally, Freeze. There are a few others, but these members never fail to make me laugh, or want to thank them for being the (only) voice of reason in the comment threads.
I may not always have perfect grammar because I'm usually accessing this website on my phone, so I guess I can't be a true Grammar Nazi- but I appreciate those who are. You can call me "besos" or "BFM", or anything along that avenue. Gracias =] Happy FML-ing!

besosforme's page activity

Visits<b>nathansmith1211</b> - the 11/28/2015 at 1:54pm<b>chr1sF</b> - the 11/24/2015 at 10:33pm<b>hater4lizife</b> - the 11/19/2015 at 7:05pm<b>moh907</b> - the 11/16/2015 at 3:50pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 11/11/2015 at 4:11pm<b>Toonice45</b> - the 11/11/2015 at 3:44pm<b>barisozdemir</b> - the 11/11/2015 at 9:01am<b>Wizardo</b> - the 11/02/2015 at 1:52pm<b>leaswaim</b> - the 11/01/2015 at 5:22am<b>Much2Much4U</b> - the 11/01/2015 at 1:45am<b>emmarawr17</b> - the 10/29/2015 at 5:33pm<b>rachelottavia</b> - the 10/27/2015 at 12:52am<b>EvilTurtle</b> - the 10/26/2015 at 11:45pm<b>kanyevevo</b> - the 10/26/2015 at 8:04pm<b>beeferjay</b> - the 10/26/2015 at 1:41pm<b>iiTzNeeNerz</b> - the 10/26/2015 at 3:17am<b>duffmani</b> - the 10/24/2015 at 7:10pm<b>inkjet</b> - the 10/12/2015 at 4:35am

Fucked!<b>barisozdemir</b> - the 11/11/2015 at 3:01pm<b>iiTzNeeNerz</b> - the 10/26/2015 at 8:17am<b>beeferjay</b> - the 10/13/2015 at 12:36am<b>Soldierman</b> - the 10/10/2015 at 1:07am<b>ClockworkPoleaxe</b> - the 09/29/2015 at 12:35am<b>bassfisher100</b> - the 09/18/2015 at 4:39am<b>Nahpets</b> - the 09/16/2015 at 7:52pm<b>nathansmith1211</b> - the 09/12/2015 at 12:50am<b>whynotbliss</b> - the 09/11/2015 at 1:07am<b>EvilTurtle</b> - the 09/10/2015 at 10:24pm<b>VGQ</b> - the 09/07/2015 at 8:10pm<b>AyeTee77</b> - the 09/06/2015 at 6:25pm<b>Mons</b> - the 09/05/2015 at 5:35am<b>Shuff52</b> - the 09/02/2015 at 1:49am<b>CaptainSmith28</b> - the 09/02/2015 at 12:25am<b>FlendtDK</b> - the 08/25/2015 at 4:39pm<b>ronenlior</b> - the 08/11/2015 at 1:57pm<b>olpally</b> - the 08/08/2015 at 7:44am

besosforme's FML badges

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

One more and it's business time

You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.

See all of besosforme's badges

besosforme's favorite FMLs

Today, I noticed a cute girl in the checkout lane at the store. Feeling a little flirtatious, I decided to blow a bubble with my gum to get her attention. I accidentally shot the gum out of my mouth onto the guy next to me, spitting all over myself in the process. FML


I agree, your life sucks (10118) - you deserved it (38622)

On 03/16/2010 at 4:12pm - love - by splitzville (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I started to type up a mass text to tell a decent amount of my friends that I'd just come home to a surprise from my boyfriend. Trying to fix a typo, I accidentally hit send with the text only saying "Guess what?! I just came." FML


I agree, your life sucks (26929) - you deserved it (11056)

On 03/14/2010 at 10:49am - misc - by anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was in my room, in my briefs and texting my girlfriend. Suddenly, I got a massive erection and I decided to take a picture to send her. As soon as my camera phone clicked, my mom walked in. You can see my mom in the picture screaming at me. FML


I agree, your life sucks (10507) - you deserved it (29936)

On 03/06/2010 at 1:10am - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I managed to fall face-first into a used condom. FML


Today, my dog farted next to my CPAP sleep/breathing machine. The machine sucked up her fart, compressed it, and promptly injected it up both of my nostrils. FML


I agree, your life sucks (41700) - you deserved it (3652)

On 02/13/2010 at 11:08am - animals - by Dog fart - United States

Today, I have the flu, food poisoning and I'm on my period. I have enough liquids pouring out of me from various holes to satisfy a sewer. FML


I agree, your life sucks (49112) - you deserved it (3327)

On 02/09/2010 at 7:22am - health - by SickSmick (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, I had the sudden urge to sneeze as I was wiping my ass. Out of instinct, I used my hand to cover my mouth. I never let go of the toilet paper. FML


I agree, your life sucks (27797) - you deserved it (35482)

On 01/08/2010 at 1:48pm - misc - by Hugh_Jankles (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, after months of trying, my wife of seven years told me she is finally pregnant. I'm going to be an uncle. FML


I agree, your life sucks (66668) - you deserved it (3383)

On 01/06/2010 at 10:17pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have sex. He tried to put it in unerected. He was serious. FML


I agree, your life sucks (23298) - you deserved it (3551)

On 01/02/2010 at 12:22pm - intimacy - by xxxzzzooo (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I discovered that my bed has a flea infestation. I discovered it after sleeping naked in it for about an hour. FML


I agree, your life sucks (27620) - you deserved it (5761)

On 12/22/2009 at 1:02pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was walking out of class when I saw a girl enthusiastically run to her boyfriend, jump on him, and smother him with kisses. I thought to myself "I wish my girlfriend did that." When the girl jumped off and turned around I realized she did, just not to me. FML


I agree, your life sucks (57966) - you deserved it (2861)

On 10/06/2009 at 8:04pm - misc - by zitroskies (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was called by my son's school. They said he'd been forging my signature and comments in his reading book. He didn't forge them. I don't know what's worse: my handwriting looking like a 6 year old's, or being too cowardly to admit it. He has a week of lunch detention, but I still have my dignity. FML


I agree, your life sucks (10441) - you deserved it (111069)

On 09/16/2009 at 1:05pm - kids - by Mac - Sent from mobile version

Today, it was raining. I was out walking with my girlfriend, and decided it would be cute if we did a bit of dancing in the rain. As I was swinging her around, I swung her head against a lamp post. She broke up with me. FML


I agree, your life sucks (42347) - you deserved it (20199)

On 09/08/2009 at 6:46am - love - by Charlie (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my boyfriend and I were starting to get in the mood. I get on top of him, lean down to kiss him, and he begins to laugh. Puzzled, I ask him why. He tells me that when I'm naked and on top of him, I remind him of a cow, with 'udders' . Offended, I go to get off. 'No no' he protests, 'a SEXY cow'. FML


I agree, your life sucks (37132) - you deserved it (5136)

On 08/30/2009 at 7:35pm - intimacy - by sigh (woman) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

C comme Line's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Best of the Worst #20
  • Here we are in November! Winter is here, for most of us, it's dark, grey and depressing and if you're the kind of person who watches network news 24/7, you're probably going to need some cheering up.…

Monday 30 November 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: