Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

besosforme

Offline (18 hours ago) | Search for a member

besosforme

129Fucked!

besosformebesosforme
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 5072
  • Number of comments : 83
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 4 posted

About besosforme : Most of my favorite people on this site seem to have disappeared in the last 5+ years. =[
I know that if the actual FMLs don't make me laugh, the commenters definitely will. My favorites (some no longer with us, sadly) are: pendatik, DocBastard, TheIrishJaneDoe, perdix, every1luvsboners, RedPillSucks, KaySL, and occasionally, Freeze. There are a few others, but these members never fail to make me laugh, or want to thank them for being the (only) voice of reason in the comment threads.
I may not always have perfect grammar because I'm usually accessing this website on my phone, so I guess I can't be a true Grammar Nazi- but I appreciate those who are. You can call me "besos" or "BFM", or anything along that avenue. Gracias =] Happy FML-ing!

besosforme's page activity

Visits<b>Dingodile</b> - yesterday at 12:42am<b>MonaLisaIdk</b> - yesterday at 2:55pm<b>WOTAN1488</b> - the 07/31/2015 at 6:29am<b>hussamhasi</b> - the 07/28/2015 at 2:59pm<b>CamBen</b> - the 07/28/2015 at 4:55am<b>msk1155</b> - the 07/27/2015 at 6:47am<b>yenze</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 12:43pm<b>muarif</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 9:57pm<b>Helipilot86</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 10:14am<b>OmgitsJay</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 1:43am<b>thatoneguy1111</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 8:39pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 7:33pm<b>StonerSongbird</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 9:10am<b>greaterdane</b> - the 07/18/2015 at 6:01pm<b>ForGodAndMusic</b> - the 07/16/2015 at 11:37am<b>sexymomo1234</b> - the 07/16/2015 at 12:45am<b>xxjeramiahxx</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 10:00pm<b>JessMac9000</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 6:29pm

Fucked!<b>WOTAN1488</b> - the 07/31/2015 at 12:30pm<b>Dingodile</b> - the 07/23/2015 at 10:12pm<b>thatoneguy1111</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 8:29pm<b>greaterdane</b> - the 07/19/2015 at 12:02am<b>xxjeramiahxx</b> - the 07/14/2015 at 4:00am<b>balboa_2</b> - the 07/07/2015 at 10:28am<b>whitetiger13131</b> - the 07/06/2015 at 5:15am<b>Yazoo77</b> - the 06/27/2015 at 5:32pm<b>Thenextguyover</b> - the 06/26/2015 at 4:05pm<b>brandonwong</b> - the 06/24/2015 at 8:56am<b>Toonice45</b> - the 06/23/2015 at 8:22am<b>Juicenub</b> - the 06/22/2015 at 7:45pm<b>IamHercules</b> - the 06/22/2015 at 7:07pm<b>sbarua219</b> - the 06/22/2015 at 9:31am<b>jmcgee17</b> - the 06/22/2015 at 9:08am<b>Jayroc</b> - the 06/22/2015 at 5:16am<b>whitnayfortooh</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 8:32pm<b>ligerzero459</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 4:03pm

besosforme's FML badges

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

One more and it's business time

You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.

See all of besosforme's badges

besosforme's favorite FMLs

Today, I realised I haven't had a date in so long that I actually seriously considered meeting someone from online, purely based on the fact he could spell properly. FML

#13822904
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22554) - you deserved it (3878)

On 11/13/2010 at 1:09am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was writing my narrative essay for my English class. When I turned it in, I was really proud of what I thought I wrote. Evidently for some people listening to music while writing essays is a bad thing. My essay was filled with little bits of ZZ Top lyrics. FML

#13784109
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7080) - you deserved it (31379)

On 11/09/2010 at 11:00pm - work - by hwscrewed - United States (Texas)

Today, my four year old daughter pulled her pants down in the middle of Best Buy. Apparently, you can smell the farts better when they don't have to pass through clothing. FML

#13312784
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31089) - you deserved it (4864)

On 10/04/2010 at 1:48am - kids - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was watching TV with my grandpa, and he stopped flipping channels on a movie with a hot naked chick getting oiled down. Suddenly the remote landed on my stomach as my mom and grandma walked in. They yelled at me for being a pervert for an hour, while my grandpa sat and chuckled. FML

#13180631
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36214) - you deserved it (4120)

On 09/24/2010 at 6:22am - misc - by Andrew - United States (Indiana)

Today, I walked in the door and heard my husband calling me to the bedroom. I got a little excited, took my clothes off, and walked into the bedroom. I forgot our mortgagor was inspecting our house today. FML

#12898898
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15986) - you deserved it (30200)

On 09/04/2010 at 7:02am - intimacy - by Lewis - Australia (South Australia)

Today, my new girlfriend, with whom I have not had sex, showed me her collection of sex toys. She picked up one approximately the size of my forearm and said "This one is my favorite" now I'm scared for her to see me naked. FML

#12768681
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41763) - you deserved it (4525)

On 08/27/2010 at 5:15am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I noticed a cute girl in the checkout lane at the store. Feeling a little flirtatious, I decided to blow a bubble with my gum to get her attention. I accidentally shot the gum out of my mouth onto the guy next to me, spitting all over myself in the process. FML

#9134827
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9496) - you deserved it (36980)

On 03/16/2010 at 4:12pm - love - by splitzville (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I started to type up a mass text to tell a decent amount of my friends that I'd just come home to a surprise from my boyfriend. Trying to fix a typo, I accidentally hit send with the text only saying "Guess what?! I just came." FML

#9070560
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26243) - you deserved it (10827)

On 03/14/2010 at 10:49am - misc - by anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was in my room, in my briefs and texting my girlfriend. Suddenly, I got a massive erection and I decided to take a picture to send her. As soon as my camera phone clicked, my mom walked in. You can see my mom in the picture screaming at me. FML

#8861010
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9976) - you deserved it (28741)

On 03/06/2010 at 1:10am - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I managed to fall face-first into a used condom. FML

#8801488
220 comments

Today, my dog farted next to my CPAP sleep/breathing machine. The machine sucked up her fart, compressed it, and promptly injected it up both of my nostrils. FML

#8202300
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39459) - you deserved it (3466)

On 02/13/2010 at 11:08am - animals - by Dog fart - United States

Today, I have the flu, food poisoning and I'm on my period. I have enough liquids pouring out of me from various holes to satisfy a sewer. FML

#8045354
275 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46758) - you deserved it (3164)

On 02/09/2010 at 7:22am - health - by SickSmick (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, I had the sudden urge to sneeze as I was wiping my ass. Out of instinct, I used my hand to cover my mouth. I never let go of the toilet paper. FML

#7217520
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27161) - you deserved it (34670)

On 01/08/2010 at 1:48pm - misc - by Hugh_Jankles (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, after months of trying, my wife of seven years told me she is finally pregnant. I'm going to be an uncle. FML

#7189298
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65656) - you deserved it (3317)

On 01/06/2010 at 10:17pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)



FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie replies #1
  • Hello all you crybabies, from Land's End to John o' Groats. Yes, I'm finally here my lovelies. Since last week, my inbox hasn't stopped humming with the noise of new mail dropping into it, letters full…

Friday 31 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: