Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

besosforme

Offline (yesterday at 12:43pm) | Search for a member

besosforme

156Fucked!

besosformebesosforme
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 5806
  • Number of comments : 86
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 5 posted

About besosforme : Most of my favorite people on this site seem to have disappeared in the last 5+ years. =[
I know that if the actual FMLs don't make me laugh, the commenters definitely will. My favorites (some no longer with us, sadly) are: pendatik, DocBastard, TheIrishJaneDoe, perdix, every1luvsboners, RedPillSucks, KaySL, and occasionally, Freeze. There are a few others, but these members never fail to make me laugh, or want to thank them for being the (only) voice of reason in the comment threads.
I may not always have perfect grammar because I'm usually accessing this website on my phone, so I guess I can't be a true Grammar Nazi- but I appreciate those who are. You can call me "besos" or "BFM", or anything along that avenue. Gracias =] Happy FML-ing!

besosforme's page activity

Visits<b>NonScaryPumkin</b> - the 02/10/2016 at 9:39am<b>TEZZ</b> - the 02/09/2016 at 9:05am<b>mrchachie</b> - the 02/07/2016 at 5:06am<b>lexred</b> - the 02/03/2016 at 10:28am<b>sanuxo_</b> - the 02/01/2016 at 11:46pm<b>firefox9778</b> - the 02/01/2016 at 6:48am<b>MM100</b> - the 01/31/2016 at 8:55pm<b>patwo8</b> - the 01/31/2016 at 7:00pm<b>tin_cup</b> - the 01/31/2016 at 12:45am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 01/24/2016 at 2:45pm<b>smathers44</b> - the 01/22/2016 at 5:15pm<b>bassfisher100</b> - the 01/20/2016 at 10:45pm<b>Nolimits2218</b> - the 01/20/2016 at 4:45pm<b>Toonice45</b> - the 01/20/2016 at 7:26am<b>smackaroonial</b> - the 01/18/2016 at 2:13am<b>smithersmaster</b> - the 01/18/2016 at 12:49am<b>reapper9000</b> - the 01/17/2016 at 9:59am<b>jtfrisch</b> - the 01/16/2016 at 3:00pm

Fucked!<b>lexred</b> - the 02/03/2016 at 4:28pm<b>firefox9778</b> - the 02/01/2016 at 12:48pm<b>MM100</b> - the 02/01/2016 at 2:55am<b>tin_cup</b> - the 01/27/2016 at 5:44pm<b>Nolimits2218</b> - the 01/20/2016 at 10:45pm<b>Styk</b> - the 01/14/2016 at 12:42am<b>jtfrisch</b> - the 01/09/2016 at 9:28pm<b>JDSini</b> - the 01/04/2016 at 9:49am<b>barisozdemir</b> - the 11/11/2015 at 3:01pm<b>iiTzNeeNerz</b> - the 10/26/2015 at 8:17am<b>beeferjay</b> - the 10/13/2015 at 12:36am<b>Soldierman</b> - the 10/10/2015 at 1:07am<b>ClockworkPoleaxe</b> - the 09/29/2015 at 12:35am<b>bassfisher100</b> - the 09/18/2015 at 4:39am<b>Nahpets</b> - the 09/16/2015 at 7:52pm<b>nathansmith1211</b> - the 09/12/2015 at 12:50am<b>whynotbliss</b> - the 09/11/2015 at 1:07am<b>EvilTurtle</b> - the 09/10/2015 at 10:24pm

besosforme's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

See all of besosforme's badges

besosforme's favorite FMLs

Today, after getting a pat of appreciation from my girlfriend's father for taking it slow, he found me later, in her room, with my head between her thighs. FML

#19187510
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18692) - you deserved it (47446)

On 02/29/2012 at 5:07am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my grandma seemingly decided that it was a really nice day to put my cat in the dryer. FML

#19180967
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31682) - you deserved it (2434)

On 02/28/2012 at 7:46am - animals - by JeffeeBojangles - United States (Texas)

Today, I was having sex with my husband. We thought the house was empty so we didn't mind being loud. Apparently, my grandma thought it would be fun to give us a surprise visit. All I found was a note on the counter from her and the spare key saying "Next time, I'll call." FML

#19169657
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33753) - you deserved it (4383)

On 02/26/2012 at 7:02pm - intimacy - by . - United States (California)

Today, I realized how bad my feelings of inadequacy compared to other women and jealousy are when I started thumbing down songs on Pandora simply because the cover art had a better looking woman than me on it. FML

Today, an African-American family came into the restaurant at which I work. They said, "Jackson, party of 5." After I laughed, I realized they were serious. FML

#19166851
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19413) - you deserved it (32779)

On 02/26/2012 at 10:31am - work - by Miss_Kristen - United States (Missouri)

Today, I told my mom about an article I'd seen that said people tend to make the most mistakes at 2 to 3 in the morning. Without a trace of humor in her voice, she said, "Tell me about it. You were conceived round about then." FML

#19161830
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28463) - you deserved it (3171)

On 02/25/2012 at 3:51pm - misc - by fmlsomuch - Japan

Today, I gave myself a hernia while farting. FML

#19152060
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25336) - you deserved it (7079)

On 02/24/2012 at 3:40am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was sitting at the mall food court, and wearing a "Blink If You Want Me" shirt. A guy walked by, saw my shirt, and made a point of holding a staring contest with me before moving on. FML

#19139101
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13191) - you deserved it (39972)

On 02/22/2012 at 2:40pm - misc - by KittenNomNom - United States (Texas)

Today, my family started their own version of the Hunger Games. With farts as their ammo, they've been tackling and gassing everyone until their victim "dies" by surrendering. My house is a flatulent war zone, and I fear waking up blind. FML

#19109077
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28233) - you deserved it (2750)

On 02/18/2012 at 5:22pm - health - by district12 (man) - United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire)

Today, I sneezed while I was in the middle of getting a root canal. I managed to warn the dentist that I was going to sneeze, but he didn't manage to get the tools out of my mouth in time. FML

#19101039
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27847) - you deserved it (1961)

On 02/17/2012 at 3:43pm - health - by Anon - United States

Today, I was in a grocery store with my great-grandmother. It would've been nice to know she hadn't taken her medication before she started beating the cashier with her umbrella. FML

#19098452
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24563) - you deserved it (2134)

On 02/17/2012 at 3:01am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I found out that the pool boy has been stealing from me for over a year now. The latest things that he has taken are my laptop, the cash I hide in my closet and my wife. FML

#19092869
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40817) - you deserved it (4102)

On 02/16/2012 at 11:26am - misc - by mypoolisstilldirty (man) - Australia

Today, Target asked me if I would do the closing announcement. I've only been working there a little while, so excited I agreed. I told people, "The store is now closing, thank you for shopping at Walmart." FML

#19088946
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17860) - you deserved it (32499)

On 02/15/2012 at 9:03pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, someone peed in my physical education locker. The only way someone could've done it is with a ladder. I'm so popular it hurts. FML

#19084261
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28738) - you deserved it (5139)

On 02/15/2012 at 7:46am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, my dad got so drunk that he proposed to me. FML

#19072659
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38398) - you deserved it (2907)

On 02/14/2012 at 9:29am - love - by Illinoisgirl - Hungary (Budapest)



FML's blog

  • Eni's illustrated FML
  • Greetings worshipers of lines and colours! This week, with the help of a talented young illustrator we’re checking kids out. No, not like that. Damn, that sounded bad. We’re taking a different look a…

Friday 12 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: