Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

besosforme

Online | Search for a member

besosforme

156Fucked!

besosformebesosforme
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 5785
  • Number of comments : 86
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 5 posted

About besosforme : Most of my favorite people on this site seem to have disappeared in the last 5+ years. =[
I know that if the actual FMLs don't make me laugh, the commenters definitely will. My favorites (some no longer with us, sadly) are: pendatik, DocBastard, TheIrishJaneDoe, perdix, every1luvsboners, RedPillSucks, KaySL, and occasionally, Freeze. There are a few others, but these members never fail to make me laugh, or want to thank them for being the (only) voice of reason in the comment threads.
I may not always have perfect grammar because I'm usually accessing this website on my phone, so I guess I can't be a true Grammar Nazi- but I appreciate those who are. You can call me "besos" or "BFM", or anything along that avenue. Gracias =] Happy FML-ing!

besosforme's page activity

Visits<b>NonScaryPumkin</b> - 23 hours ago<b>TEZZ</b> - yesterday at 9:05am<b>mrchachie</b> - the 02/07/2016 at 5:06am<b>lexred</b> - the 02/03/2016 at 10:28am<b>sanuxo_</b> - the 02/01/2016 at 11:46pm<b>firefox9778</b> - the 02/01/2016 at 6:48am<b>MM100</b> - the 01/31/2016 at 8:55pm<b>patwo8</b> - the 01/31/2016 at 7:00pm<b>tin_cup</b> - the 01/31/2016 at 12:45am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 01/24/2016 at 2:45pm<b>smathers44</b> - the 01/22/2016 at 5:15pm<b>bassfisher100</b> - the 01/20/2016 at 10:45pm<b>Nolimits2218</b> - the 01/20/2016 at 4:45pm<b>Toonice45</b> - the 01/20/2016 at 7:26am<b>smackaroonial</b> - the 01/18/2016 at 2:13am<b>smithersmaster</b> - the 01/18/2016 at 12:49am<b>reapper9000</b> - the 01/17/2016 at 9:59am<b>jtfrisch</b> - the 01/16/2016 at 3:00pm

Fucked!<b>lexred</b> - the 02/03/2016 at 4:28pm<b>firefox9778</b> - the 02/01/2016 at 12:48pm<b>MM100</b> - the 02/01/2016 at 2:55am<b>tin_cup</b> - the 01/27/2016 at 5:44pm<b>Nolimits2218</b> - the 01/20/2016 at 10:45pm<b>Styk</b> - the 01/14/2016 at 12:42am<b>jtfrisch</b> - the 01/09/2016 at 9:28pm<b>JDSini</b> - the 01/04/2016 at 9:49am<b>barisozdemir</b> - the 11/11/2015 at 3:01pm<b>iiTzNeeNerz</b> - the 10/26/2015 at 8:17am<b>beeferjay</b> - the 10/13/2015 at 12:36am<b>Soldierman</b> - the 10/10/2015 at 1:07am<b>ClockworkPoleaxe</b> - the 09/29/2015 at 12:35am<b>bassfisher100</b> - the 09/18/2015 at 4:39am<b>Nahpets</b> - the 09/16/2015 at 7:52pm<b>nathansmith1211</b> - the 09/12/2015 at 12:50am<b>whynotbliss</b> - the 09/11/2015 at 1:07am<b>EvilTurtle</b> - the 09/10/2015 at 10:24pm

besosforme's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

See all of besosforme's badges

besosforme's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out that if you whistle Christmas carols while shitting in a public bathroom, a little boy might just look under the stall to see if Santa is pooping. FML

#19784207
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14911) - you deserved it (25980)

On 06/13/2012 at 9:17pm - misc - by ww2freak - United States (Virginia)

Today, my boyfriend brought up the time he said he'd love me until the day he died. He continued by saying, "So, let's just pretend I died today." FML

#19774662
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31146) - you deserved it (2270)

On 06/12/2012 at 1:29am - health - by fmmmmlll (woman) - United States

Today, I was talking on the phone to my crush so I went into the bathroom for some privacy. My drunk mother started banging on the door, asking what I was doing in there. I told her that I was on the phone, so she yelled super loud, "While you're shitting?" He immediately hung up. FML

#19740850
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26778) - you deserved it (4095)

On 06/05/2012 at 9:19pm - love - by whyme27 (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was at the supermarket checkout. I handed over my items, which included some tampons, tissues, and toilet roll. The security guard standing beside the cashier remarked loudly, "I'll be damned; she's flowing from every hole!" FML

#19623439
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42560) - you deserved it (4352) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 05/14/2012 at 6:23pm - misc - by lafinesse (woman) -

Today, I watched "Rain Man" with my family. The whole time they kept exclaiming, "Omigod! That's just like Kate!" FML

#19547230
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19597) - you deserved it (2720)

On 04/29/2012 at 11:22am - misc - by Kate (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got mugged at Disney World, the happiest place on Earth. FML

#19434352
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37427) - you deserved it (3419)

On 04/09/2012 at 1:15am - money - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while I was getting out of the shower, I saw a spider climb into the ceiling vent. Wanting it to come out so I could kill it, I turned on the fan. It came out, along with a dozen of its friends. FML

Today, during an Easter egg hunt, I found divorce papers. FML

#19428226
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38647) - you deserved it (2668)

On 04/08/2012 at 5:16am - love - by claudio117 - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my ex-husband officially became my step dad. FML

#19421919
389 comments

I agree, your life sucks (93260) - you deserved it (4710)

On 04/07/2012 at 4:20am - love - by ladylarni - Australia

Today, I woke up super glued to the toilet. FML

#19420355
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28797) - you deserved it (10226)

On 04/06/2012 at 10:26pm - misc - by Tanner - United States (Oregon)

Today, my girlfriend and I were in bed. She slipped her hand under the duvet, and I got all excited thinking she was going to give me a hand job. She was actually pulling out her wedgie. FML

#19416403
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24655) - you deserved it (9882)

On 04/06/2012 at 7:10am - intimacy - by TJ - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, I was shopping for tampons when a cute guy came over and gave me his number. He said, "Call me in 3 to 5 days." FML

#19263580
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39319) - you deserved it (5897)

On 03/12/2012 at 9:11am - misc - by Tristansefam1367 - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was humming the Star Wars theme song while on the bus. When my stop came I walked down the aisle only to hear a girl mutter, "The virginity is strong in this one." She's right. FML

#19249399
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26218) - you deserved it (19469)

On 03/10/2012 at 1:50am - misc - by starboy - United States (California)

Today, I was cooking and I burned my thumb. I had some first-aid burn spray, so I sprayed it on. I went outside to smoke a cigarette, and when I flicked my lighter, my thumb went up in flames. Turns out that first-aid burn spray is flammable. FML

#19231418
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13425) - you deserved it (43946)

On 03/07/2012 at 1:29am - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was having a pleasant jog, that is until I was struck by the terrible feeling of an oncoming turd. Being only about 20 minutes from home, I thought I could make it back without letting the beast out. I was so wrong. The only thing I'm grateful for is that I was carrying the Sunday paper. FML

#19207356
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24059) - you deserved it (3524)

On 03/03/2012 at 3:27am - health - by fingerhut - United States (California)



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: