About besosforme : Sad to say that most of the intelligent people on this site seem to have disappeared. =[I know that if the actual FMLs don't make me laugh, the commenters definitely will. My favorites (some no longer with us, sadly) are: pendatik, DocBastard, TheIrishJaneDoe, perdix, RedPillSucks, and occasionally, Freeze. There are a few others, but these members never fail to make me laugh, or want to thank them for being the (only) voice of reason in the comment threads. I may not always have perfect grammar because I'm usually accessing this website on my phone, so I guess I can't be a true Grammar Nazi- but I appreciate those who are. You can call me "besos" or "BFM", or anything along that avenue. Gracias =]Happy FML-ing!
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This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
Today, I was cooking and I burned my thumb. I had some first-aid burn spray, so I sprayed it on. I went outside to smoke a cigarette, and when I flicked my lighter, my thumb went up in flames. Turns out that first-aid burn spray is flammable. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9369) - you deserved it (29047)
On 03/07/2012 at 1:29am - health - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I was having a pleasant jog, that is until I was struck by the terrible feeling of an oncoming turd. Being only about 20 minutes from home, I thought I could make it back without letting the beast out. I was so wrong. The only thing I'm grateful for is that I was carrying the Sunday paper. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15476) - you deserved it (2223)
On 03/03/2012 at 3:27am - health - by fingerhut - United States (California)
Today, after getting a pat of appreciation from my girlfriend's father for taking it slow, he found me later, in her room, with my head between her thighs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12501) - you deserved it (29416)
On 02/29/2012 at 5:07am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, my grandma seemingly decided that it was a really nice day to put my cat in the dryer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21664) - you deserved it (1515)
On 02/28/2012 at 7:46am - animals - by JeffeeBojangles - United States (Texas)
Today, I was having sex with my husband. We thought the house was empty so we didn't mind being loud. Apparently, my grandma thought it would be fun to give us a surprise visit. All I found was a note on the counter from her and the spare key saying "Next time, I'll call." FML
I agree, your life sucks (22389) - you deserved it (2800)
On 02/26/2012 at 7:02pm - intimacy - by . - United States (California)
Today, I realized how bad my feelings of inadequacy compared to other women and jealousy are when I started thumbing down songs on Pandora simply because the cover art had a better looking woman than me on it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5887) - you deserved it (17742)
On 02/26/2012 at 5:18pm - misc - by Larentiah (woman) - United States
Today, an African-American family came into the restaurant at which I work. They said, "Jackson, party of 5." After I laughed, I realized they were serious. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13949) - you deserved it (20572)
On 02/26/2012 at 10:31am - work - by Miss_Kristen - United States (Missouri)
Today, I told my mom about an article I'd seen that said people tend to make the most mistakes at 2 to 3 in the morning. Without a trace of humor in her voice, she said, "Tell me about it. You were conceived round about then." FML
I agree, your life sucks (19943) - you deserved it (2071)
Today, I gave myself a hernia while farting. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17040) - you deserved it (4923)
On 02/24/2012 at 3:40am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was sitting at the mall food court, and wearing a "Blink If You Want Me" shirt. A guy walked by, saw my shirt, and made a point of holding a staring contest with me before moving on. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9406) - you deserved it (31478)
On 02/22/2012 at 2:40pm - misc - by KittenNomNom - United States (Texas)
Today, my family started their own version of the Hunger Games. With farts as their ammo, they've been tackling and gassing everyone until their victim "dies" by surrendering. My house is a flatulent war zone, and I fear waking up blind. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18749) - you deserved it (1706)
On 02/18/2012 at 5:22pm - health - by district12 (man) - United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire)
Today, I sneezed while I was in the middle of getting a root canal. I managed to warn the dentist that I was going to sneeze, but he didn't manage to get the tools out of my mouth in time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19048) - you deserved it (1161)
On 02/17/2012 at 3:43pm - health - by Anon - United States
Today, I was in a grocery store with my great-grandmother. It would've been nice to know she hadn't taken her medication before she started beating the cashier with her umbrella. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16376) - you deserved it (1328)
On 02/17/2012 at 3:01am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)
Today, I found out that the pool boy has been stealing from me for over a year now. The latest things that he has taken are my laptop, the cash I hide in my closet and my wife. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30852) - you deserved it (2783)
On 02/16/2012 at 11:26am - misc - by mypoolisstilldirty (man) - Australia
Today, Target asked me if I would do the closing announcement. I've only been working there a little while, so excited I agreed. I told people, "The store is now closing, thank you for shopping at Walmart." FML
I agree, your life sucks (12832) - you deserved it (24590)
On 02/15/2012 at 9:03pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Monday 20 May 2013
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