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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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bertiebass1

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bertiebass1
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 9 January 1990 (22 years)
  • Number of visits : 2520
  • Number of comments : 16
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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bertiebass1's favorite FMLs

Today, the pictures from last night's party were put on Facebook. The pictures that show me getting in a drunken fight with a girl and her putting my face through the wall. FML

#8477900 (140)

I agree, your life sucks (4096) - you deserved it (21214)

On 02/20/2010 at 12:29pm - misc - by creamed (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I went to get my friend a drink while she sat in the lounge watching TV with my dog. When I came back, I found her licking my dogs ears. She said he dared her to do it. FML

#7540376 (99)

I agree, your life sucks (19013) - you deserved it (2069)

On 01/24/2010 at 7:28am - animals - by CheeseMonsters (woman) - United Kingdom (Reading)

Today, I was picking up my little sister from school and while waiting I decided to have a smoke. I was caught and was told to go to the principal's office. I'm 23. FML

#7508111 (158)

I agree, your life sucks (9344) - you deserved it (15452)

On 01/22/2010 at 9:10pm - misc - by oldschool (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boss gave me an evaluation form for him and told me it was totally anonymous. So, I decided to really be rude about it. At lunch, I asked a co-worker what he put on the evaluation, and he said, "What evaluation?" FML

#7458820 (60)

I agree, your life sucks (7041) - you deserved it (18535)

On 01/20/2010 at 5:29pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, some drunk dude broke into my house while my parents were out. Scared, I asked him what he wanted, his response was "cookies." FML

#7264308 (191)

I agree, your life sucks (1191) - you deserved it (165)

On 01/10/2010 at 8:10pm - misc - by wowhoopla - Sent from mobile version

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I witnessed my drunk grandmother attempting the Single Ladies dance, complete with hip gyrations and ass slapping. FML

#7125944 (123)

I agree, your life sucks (21321) - you deserved it (2272)

On 01/03/2010 at 1:06pm - misc - by ohdear (woman) - United Kingdom (Falkirk)

Today, I learned that when someone says "I know what you did" it's better not to confess right away, because sometimes they could be talking about leaving the computer on all night, and not talking about giving the family dog away and telling everyone it ran away. FML

#6476198 (97)

I agree, your life sucks (3003) - you deserved it (29335)

On 11/27/2009 at 9:13am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I woke up with a ridiculous hangover and no memory of last night. I called my friend who told me that I was so trashed I ended up eating all the hamburgers and chicken fingers in her fridge. I've been a vegetarian for 15 years. FML

#6355717 (94)

I agree, your life sucks (7840) - you deserved it (32032)

On 11/18/2009 at 4:11pm - misc - by squishy (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, after months of trying to potty train my son, he finally told me he used the potty. I went to the bathroom to check. There was nothing there. So I asked him "Where did you go to the potty?". He then grabbed my hand and took me to the cat's litter box. My son has successfully litter trained himself. FML

#6321583 (73)

I agree, your life sucks (22271) - you deserved it (2464)

On 11/16/2009 at 1:00am - kids - by anonymous (woman) - Japan (Okinawa)

Today, I was putting my contacts in when my daughter decided to jump on me from behind to scare me, causing me to poke myself in the eye. I'm now wearing an eye patch due to a scratched cornea while my daughter is singing some song titled "You are a pirate". FML

#6284625 (121)

I agree, your life sucks (22409) - you deserved it (1866)

On 11/13/2009 at 5:06am - kids - by dessaye (man) - Singapore

Today, after a trip to my doctor I found out that my recent mood swings and hot flashes are the result of a hormonal imbalance that mimics the effects of menopause. I'm a 17 year old guy. FML

#6200798 (62)

I agree, your life sucks (26900) - you deserved it (1200)

On 11/07/2009 at 7:38pm - health - by oldlady (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I arrived in my dorm at 3 am to find my roommate passed out and a nauseating stench. While I was gone, he got drunk and puked all over the walls, carpet, and both beds. His inebriated attempt to clean up the mess consisted of smearing his vomit everywhere with my shower robe. FML

#6097881 (49)

I agree, your life sucks (24906) - you deserved it (1255)

On 11/01/2009 at 6:33am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Germany (Berlin)

Today, my boyfriend and I were making out, holding hands, and he was playing with a strand of my hair. I thought the whole thing was very romantic. He then said he loved how my mouth tasted like bacon. FML

#6061136 (91)

I agree, your life sucks (16348) - you deserved it (5152)

On 10/29/2009 at 8:33pm - misc - by BaconBreathBlonde (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was having a nice moment with my granddaughter as she was being affectionate by stroking my face. We were both quite content, until she said, "Aw, Grandma, your skin feels just like a crocodile." FML

#5977481 (100)

I agree, your life sucks (21905) - you deserved it (2024)

On 10/24/2009 at 5:14pm - kids - by Granny (woman) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, I went on a date with an awesome guy. I got super hammered and punched him in the face. FML

#5894935 (104)

I agree, your life sucks (5341) - you deserved it (40645)

On 10/19/2009 at 11:42am - love - by DrunkGirl - Sent from mobile version