Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

bertiebass1

Search for a member

bertiebass1

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 9 January 1990 (24 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3442
  • Number of comments : 16
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

bertiebass1's page activity

Visits<b>Carrotop12</b> - the 06/28/2014 at 10:36pm<b>Tigre5012</b> - the 06/14/2014 at 12:47pm<b>JRT1393</b> - the 06/12/2014 at 12:35am<b>angeloshaheen</b> - the 05/06/2014 at 3:41pm<b>Superdouchebag</b> - the 05/04/2014 at 6:03pm<b>missmandersxoxo</b> - the 04/20/2014 at 3:10pm<b>sammyb1998</b> - the 03/22/2014 at 1:02am<b>Federgirl</b> - the 02/06/2014 at 11:47pm<b>livin11</b> - the 01/20/2014 at 9:05am<b>vanessuhm</b> - the 10/26/2013 at 8:01am<b>1Michael1</b> - the 10/13/2013 at 12:53am<b>chrisstachon</b> - the 10/01/2013 at 12:26am<b>confusedAsFuck</b> - the 09/12/2013 at 7:37am<b>Trollx</b> - the 08/26/2013 at 9:50am<b>barrelracing1210</b> - the 07/14/2013 at 2:53pm<b>DoubleSoul</b> - the 05/16/2013 at 1:23pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 05/15/2013 at 11:40am<b>bnjmn10</b> - the 05/08/2013 at 5:35pm

bertiebass1's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

See all of bertiebass1's badges

bertiebass1's favorite FMLs

Today, the pictures from last night's party were put on Facebook. The pictures that show me getting in a drunken fight with a girl and her putting my face through the wall. FML

#8477900
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6208) - you deserved it (31415)

On 02/20/2010 at 12:29pm - misc - by creamed (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I went to get my friend a drink while she sat in the lounge watching TV with my dog. When I came back, I found her licking my dogs ears. She said he dared her to do it. FML

#7540376
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26030) - you deserved it (2960)

On 01/24/2010 at 7:28am - animals - by CheeseMonsters (woman) - United Kingdom (Reading)

Today, I was picking up my little sister from school and while waiting I decided to have a smoke. I was caught and was told to go to the principal's office. I'm 23. FML

#7508111
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14002) - you deserved it (23932)

On 01/22/2010 at 9:10pm - misc - by oldschool (man) - United States (California)

Today, some drunk dude broke into my house while my parents were out. Scared, I asked him what he wanted, his response was "cookies." FML

#7264308
183 comments

Today, I witnessed my drunk grandmother attempting the Single Ladies dance, complete with hip gyrations and ass slapping. FML

#7125944
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28445) - you deserved it (3199)

On 01/03/2010 at 1:06pm - misc - by ohdear (woman) - United Kingdom (Falkirk)

Today, I learned that when someone says "I know what you did" it's better not to confess right away, because sometimes they could be talking about leaving the computer on all night, and not talking about giving the family dog away and telling everyone it ran away. FML

#6476198
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5242) - you deserved it (44508)

On 11/27/2009 at 9:13am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I woke up with a ridiculous hangover and no memory of last night. I called my friend who told me that I was so trashed I ended up eating all the hamburgers and chicken fingers in her fridge. I've been a vegetarian for 15 years. FML

#6355717
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10990) - you deserved it (45491)

On 11/18/2009 at 4:11pm - misc - by squishy (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I woke up with a ridiculous hangover and no memory of last night. I called my friend who told me that I was so trashed I ended up eating all the hamburgers and chicken fingers in her fridge. I've been a vegetarian for 15 years. FML

#6355717
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10990) - you deserved it (45491)

On 11/18/2009 at 4:11pm - misc - by squishy (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, after months of trying to potty train my son, he finally told me he used the potty. I went to the bathroom to check. There was nothing there. So I asked him "Where did you go to the potty?". He then grabbed my hand and took me to the cat's litter box. My son has successfully litter trained himself. FML

#6321583
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30178) - you deserved it (3513)

On 11/16/2009 at 1:00am - kids - by anonymous (woman) - Japan (Okinawa)

Today, after a trip to my doctor I found out that my recent mood swings and hot flashes are the result of a hormonal imbalance that mimics the effects of menopause. I'm a 17 year old guy. FML

#6200798
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35082) - you deserved it (2000)

On 11/07/2009 at 7:38pm - health - by oldlady (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I arrived in my dorm at 3 am to find my roommate passed out and a nauseating stench. While I was gone, he got drunk and puked all over the walls, carpet, and both beds. His inebriated attempt to clean up the mess consisted of smearing his vomit everywhere with my shower robe. FML

#6097881
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32323) - you deserved it (1943)

On 11/01/2009 at 6:33am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Germany (Berlin)

Today, my boyfriend and I were making out, holding hands, and he was playing with a strand of my hair. I thought the whole thing was very romantic. He then said he loved how my mouth tasted like bacon. FML

#6061136
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22671) - you deserved it (6969)

On 10/29/2009 at 8:33pm - misc - by BaconBreathBlonde (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was having a nice moment with my granddaughter as she was being affectionate by stroking my face. We were both quite content, until she said, "Aw, Grandma, your skin feels just like a crocodile." FML

#5977481
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29213) - you deserved it (2955)

On 10/24/2009 at 5:14pm - kids - by Granny (woman) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, I went on a date with an awesome guy. I got super hammered and punched him in the face. FML

#5894935
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7598) - you deserved it (55442)

On 10/19/2009 at 11:42am - love - by DrunkGirl - Sent from mobile version

Today, I noticed that my clothes had shrunk. My mother seemed to be having trouble with the new washer and dryer so I tried to show her exactly how they work. After my explanation she said "I know how they work. I shrank your clothes to give you some incentive to lose all that belly you got." FML

#5827048
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26176) - you deserved it (6834)

On 10/14/2009 at 10:36am - misc - by thelandofoz - United States (Florida)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #2: In slow-moving hell
  • It was once a dream, now it’s come true. We’re at the place that was allocated months ago for preprogrammed, enforced holiday fun time. We’ve put on some cargo shorts, slipped on some of those…

Wednesday 13 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: