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benneth002

Offline (the 01/20/2015 at 4:37am) | Search for a member

benneth002

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  • Number of visits : 493
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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benneth002's page activity

Visits<b>ozpunker</b> - the 03/16/2013 at 7:54pm

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benneth002's favorite FMLs

Today, I was having coffee with an old friend I hadn't seen since university. I asked about her husband; she replied, "he died" and walked away. I was confused, so I stood up and took off after her. She reminded me I was at the funeral, and then slapped me in the face. FML

#21223464
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21432) - you deserved it (62442)

On 07/29/2014 at 3:58am - misc - by jayswizzle89 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was doing a design sketch for work. I snapped a pic and sent it to my boss. She replied, "Impressive. Nice sketch too." I was drawing at home, naked. My dick was in the picture. FML

Today, I had a rough day and was extremely tired. I took a nap on the couch, and woke up to a guy robbing my house. I pretended I was still sleeping, waiting a chance to grab him or run out safely. I ended up falling back asleep. FML

#21219246
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41623) - you deserved it (21412)

On 07/24/2014 at 11:59am - misc - by FML - United States (Virginia)

Today, the fire alarm went off at work. My office is on the second floor, and the door to the stairs were jammed shut. The only way out was jumping out the window. The best part was breaking my leg due to someone burning their lunch. FML

#21218720
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43606) - you deserved it (7995)

On 07/23/2014 at 9:34pm - health - by timv94 (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I had to take a splinter out of my eight year old son's penis. FML

Today, I was scrubbing the bloody aftermath of a successful mouse trap off of my stove with an old toothbrush. After a few good scrubs, out of habit I put the toothbrush in my mouth while I turned on the water. FML

Today, I was carrying my four-month-old son in a checkout line. An older couple behind us remarked that I would spoil my son if I carried him everywhere. My son responded by projectile vomiting all over the wife, then looked at me and giggled. FML

Today, I had to check up on a 400-pound inmate who was very upset about being locked up. When I got to his cell, he threw one of his own turds at me through the bars. I took a hit. FML

#21214798
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49241) - you deserved it (4083)

On 07/20/2014 at 1:23am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, we decided to go to an aquarium for a little family get-away. At the end was a shark viewing deck, and I leaned over the rails to get a better look. How did I find out that my glasses needed to be adjusted? They fell off and sunk right to the bottom of the shark-infested waters. FML

#21211826
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40421) - you deserved it (11847)

On 07/17/2014 at 11:57am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was at the gym, when I saw my uncle at the front desk. I quietly went up behind him and slapped him hard on the back while yelling "What's up, loser?!" He turned around. It wasn't my uncle. FML

#21198479
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25326) - you deserved it (38644)

On 07/04/2014 at 1:35pm - misc - by Oops - United States

Today, my 6-year-old brother showed me the "books" he's been writing for the past week. My parents, who are first-generation immigrants, want him to take the books to school to show everyone. My only problem with this? The main character's name is "Wanker". FML

#21195314
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36171) - you deserved it (3251)

On 07/01/2014 at 5:41pm - kids - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my grandma got a new boyfriend. She dumped the old one because "His wife was taking too long to die." FML

#21195046
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51411) - you deserved it (4413)

On 07/01/2014 at 1:31pm - love - by carebear1228 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, it's my birthday. My next-door neighbours gave me a stool and some rope. FML

#21194564
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56209) - you deserved it (5211) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 07/01/2014 at 12:55am - love - by NosChersVoisins - France (Aquitaine)

Today, I smacked my kid on top of the head for spinning the display rack while I was looking at greeting cards. It wasn't until he dramatically screamed and dropped to the floor wailing that I realized he wasn't my daughter. FML

#21194154
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28884) - you deserved it (42224)

On 06/30/2014 at 7:39pm - kids - by BaWanda (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I sped off down the road, then realized to my horror that my cat was clinging to the roof of the car. FML



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