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benneth002

Offline (the 08/09/2014 at 1:25pm) | Search for a member

benneth002

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  • Number of visits : 296
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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benneth002's page activity

Visits<b>ozpunker</b> - the 03/16/2013 at 7:54pm

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benneth002's favorite FMLs

Today, I was about to make a left turn. In the turn lane a little old lady was waiting for the light to change. On the back of her car was a bumper sticker that said "Honk if you love Jesus!" I gave her a honk and waved. She leaned out and yelled, "The light's red, asshole." FML

#20786059
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44993) - you deserved it (13344)

On 07/16/2013 at 9:12am - misc - by TNDriver (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I baked strawberry muffins for my family, putting half a strawberry on each of them. Only when it was too late did I realize that they looked like extremely creepy breasts. FML

#20786008
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35378) - you deserved it (6805)

On 07/16/2013 at 8:01am - misc - by muffin (woman) - Austria

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend and my best friend making out. She claimed he was just tasting her lipstick. FML

#20784153
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50058) - you deserved it (3443)

On 07/15/2013 at 12:47pm - love - by leeceetaylor99 - United States (Texas)

Today, after my parents left for the weekend, my "friends" decided to throw a party at my house despite my protests. In order to get them to leave, I called the police. I was the only one arrested, while they got warnings. FML

#20783919
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47115) - you deserved it (8325)

On 07/15/2013 at 7:46am - misc - by ugh - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, the guy I was on a date with jokingly challenged me to an arm wrestle. I won. He left. FML

Today, the guy I like asked me what he should do for the girl he has a crush on. I told him to give her flowers and tell her how he feels. Later that day my doorbell rang, and he stood there holding flowers. He said the magical words, "My car broke down, can you give me a lift?" FML

#20778979
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63456) - you deserved it (4737)

On 07/13/2013 at 12:22am - love - by Stacy (woman) - United States

Today, I felt lousy and decided to give myself a pep-talk in the mirror. After a while, I cheered up and went about my day. I soon found out that my sister had recorded me through the crack of my door and posted the video on Facebook. I'm humiliated. FML

#20777975
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53326) - you deserved it (6246)

On 07/12/2013 at 4:40pm - misc - by Suomynona (man) - Germany (Hamburg)

Today, I let my 3-year-old daughter watch Finding Nemo on my phone while I made her lunch. I returned to find she had dropped my phone into the fish bowl so that her goldfish could see his friends. FML

#20776430
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46256) - you deserved it (17032)

On 07/11/2013 at 7:13pm - kids - by thanks, Nemo. - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my 13-year-old daughter and I went to a tropical themed restaurant. She wanted a strawberry Daiquiri, so I asked the waitress for a virgin strawberry Daiquiri. My daughter then said, "But dad, I'm not a virgin." FML

#20775827
336 comments

I agree, your life sucks (97897) - you deserved it (11346)

On 07/11/2013 at 10:24am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, after a haircut, I walked to the cash register, handed the hairdresser a $20 bill and said, "Keep the change." He looked at me with a blank expression and replied, "The haircut costs 25 dollars." FML

#20773985
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29392) - you deserved it (45256)

On 07/10/2013 at 8:38am - misc - by RickTheBoy (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went to my local pool. I lay down in a chair and started tanning. About 30 minutes later, a lady came up to me and said, "Put that away, you pervert, there are children here!" I had a hole in my pants and my penis had started to poke through. FML

#20772281
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51482) - you deserved it (20752)

On 07/09/2013 at 12:07pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I finally worked up the courage to ask my crush to a movie. What I didn't realise is that she would bring a "friend" along, and that I would have to sit next to them making out for 2 hours. FML

#20772026
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52986) - you deserved it (4369)

On 07/09/2013 at 7:05am - love - by thirdwheel - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was going to fight the guy who my girlfriend left me for. While waiting at the park, he sent me a video of the two of them having sex on my bed. FML

#20768398
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65626) - you deserved it (21321)

On 07/07/2013 at 8:35am - love - by SimG (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was drinking from a cup with a built-in straw. After taking a long sip, I noticed a weird taste. Upon investigation, I found a small caterpillar wedged inside the straw. FML

#20768067
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43153) - you deserved it (3845)

On 07/07/2013 at 1:09am - misc - by yum - United States (California)

Today, during my family's traditional 4th of July weekend celebration, my water broke. I kept trying to tell them and asked them to take me to the hospital, but they couldn't hear me over the fireworks. They all just kept smiling and nodding. FML

#20767424
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48951) - you deserved it (2963)

On 07/06/2013 at 5:45pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)



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