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benneth002

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benneth002

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  • Number of visits : 646
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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benneth002's page activity

Visits<b>ozpunker</b> - the 03/16/2013 at 7:54pm

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benneth002's favorite FMLs

Today, I discovered that if you heckle a mime, it's possible that the mime will actually kick your ass. FML

#21283193
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15505) - you deserved it (34661)

On 10/22/2014 at 4:24pm - misc - by mr_cheese (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my 17-year-old son managed to easily convince my 13-year-old daughter that if you have sex before getting married, you'll instantly get horrible diseases that will kill you. Her freaking out is how I found out she's not only gullible as hell, but sexually active as well. FML

#21283066
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41324) - you deserved it (5529)

On 10/22/2014 at 12:09pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Norway (Rogaland)

Today, I offered "Girls Gone Wild" as an example of bad TV in my lecture thinking it was a reality TV show. It's porn. FML

Today, I lost my laptop, but I have my old childhood computer to use. It's password-protected, and the hint to the password is "meaner than Hera." I haven't been into Greek mythology since I was a kid, and if anything, this computer has just shown me how dumb I've gotten over the years. FML

#21282844
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30517) - you deserved it (5771)

On 10/21/2014 at 11:36pm - misc - by HeckIfIKnow (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was giving lifeguard instructions to a couple of teens. When I quizzed them about what they should do when someone is choking, one of them said, "Take a step back" and winked at me. FML

#21282836
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32327) - you deserved it (3376)

On 10/21/2014 at 11:18pm - work - by Australian Lifeguard - United States (Arizona)

Today, I fell asleep on the couch. My parents didn't wake me up, went to bed and set our burglar alarm. If I trip a motion sensor, a siren will go off. The motion sensor in my living room is pointed directly at me and I have to pee. It's been 2 hours. FML

#21282761
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32043) - you deserved it (3793)

On 10/21/2014 at 10:11pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I smashed a spider with my pencil eraser. Later, I absentmindedly chewed on it while doing my homework. FML

#21282480
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21821) - you deserved it (28023)

On 10/21/2014 at 3:46pm - misc - by GetMeTheDamnBleach (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, after my dad trying every bait, hormone, and poison, the cockroaches in this apartment have gone crazy. They are trying to kill themselves. One tried to commit suicide, by suffocation, in my mouth this morning. FML

#21282365
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35765) - you deserved it (3140)

On 10/21/2014 at 11:42am - misc - by youngboob (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, my son gave me a bottle of shampoo for my birthday. I'm as bald as a coot. FML

#21282364
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30077) - you deserved it (2882)

On 10/21/2014 at 11:41am - kids - by Bald (man) - Turkey (Istanbul)

Today, I was shopping when a woman stopped me and asked me what lipgloss I was wearing because my lips looked gorgeous. I had to explain to her it was just the grease from the Slim Jim I had just eaten. FML

#21281977
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30014) - you deserved it (4768)

On 10/20/2014 at 8:38pm - misc - by Anonymos_fmler - United States (Illinois)

Today, my little sister decided it would be funny to hide in the washroom closet while I was taking a piss. I wasn't pissing, I was wanking. FML

#21281971
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37211) - you deserved it (11263)

On 10/20/2014 at 8:29pm - intimacy - by John (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I volunteered to tutor a 17-year-old girl in science. I had to explain in detail of what the real Big Bang theory was, as she only knew about the show. Later, I heard I was reported by her because apparently, "I was trying to convert her to Scientology." I now know why she needed a tutor. FML

Today, near the end end of my shift as a bartender, a drunk man stumbled into my bar, got upset because I refused to serve him, puked into my tip jar, then offered me half a pack of cigarettes in exchange for sex. FML

#21281851
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31003) - you deserved it (2091)

On 10/20/2014 at 5:04pm - work - by Bartender - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my boss drove past me while I was walking to work, and splashing mud over my uniform. When I got to work, he criticized me for showing up in unpresentable condition. FML

#21281679
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36083) - you deserved it (2458)

On 10/20/2014 at 11:03am - work - by Chansus10 - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my 7-year-old used the word "crap". When I told her that she mustn't use that word because it's rude, she simply replied, "Mother, you should hear the words I use at school." FML

#21281207
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30339) - you deserved it (4786)

On 10/19/2014 at 4:58pm - kids - by Anonymous - United Kingdom



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