benneth002

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benneth002

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1252
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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benneth002's page activity

Visits<b>ozpunker</b> - the 03/16/2013 at 7:54pm

benneth002's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

See all of benneth002's badges

benneth002's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to explain to a customer that 50% off a $50 item did not make the item free. FML

by idiots / 11/28/2014 at 10:36pm / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, and for the past few days, there is a musical box stuck somewhere in my attic that randomly plays Christmas songs. FML

by supertacowaffle / 11/28/2014 at 3:47pm / United Kingdom (Bristol, City of) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, after Thanksgiving dinner, we all played Cards Against Humanity. On one round, I was the dealer, and I received "foreskin" as a card. When I said this, my grandmother told me that apparently, after my ritual circumcision, my grandfather buried my foreskin under our rosebushes. FML

by mainlineloser / 11/28/2014 at 12:25am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, some idiot introduced my grandmother to yoga pants. FML

by Anonymous / 11/27/2014 at 1:51pm / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous

Today, I came home late from work. As I got out of my car, I noticed a child-shaped silhouette in my bedroom window. I almost shat myself, since I live alone. I searched the whole house, sobbing in fear, only to find no trace of whatever or whoever I'd seen. FML

by void bowels() { cry(); } / 11/26/2014 at 3:45pm / United Kingdom (Caerphilly) / Transportation

Today, I agreed to give my husband head while he played Call of Duty. I was happy because he enjoyed it at first, until he started getting his ass kicked in the game. He lost and angrily blamed me for distracting him. FML

by Anonymous / 11/26/2014 at 2:41pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I drove over an hour to my grandma's house for her birthday party. When she answered the door, her eyes went wide and she said angrily "No, not you!" and slammed the door shut in my face. FML

by unwanted / 11/26/2014 at 1:13pm / Canada (Quebec) / Miscellaneous

Today, as I walked into the bank, I tripped and bumped into a security guard. He thought I was assaulting him, so he pinned me to the floor and called for backup as he held me at gunpoint. FML

by Anonymous / 11/25/2014 at 3:15pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my mom booked a family trip to Sweden. This would be great, if she hadn't asked me to tell our former German exchange student that we were coming to visit her in Germany. She was thrilled. Now I have to be the one to let her down. FML

by Blöde Gans / 11/25/2014 at 11:14am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I met my best friend's girlfriend for the first time. After a few hours of talking and eating, she followed me to the bathroom and said, dead serious, ''If you ever touch him or get too close to him, I will cut you''. I've known him for twelve years, they have been dating for a month. FML

by ohwell / 11/24/2014 at 8:44am / Sweden (Stockholms Lan) / Love

Today, I was elected to learn how to clean the birthing tub at the hospital I work at. Today, I also discovered that while blood doesn't bother me, floating chunks of afterbirth and god knows what else, will cause me to projectile vomit into said tub. Which I still had to clean afterwards. FML

by StomachofTinfoil / 11/23/2014 at 8:59pm / United States (Maine) / Work

Today, I held the door open for an old lady, before realizing she was a teacher taking 20-plus kids to lunch at local burger joint, all of whom got in front of me in the line to order. FML

by Anonymous / 11/23/2014 at 12:46pm / United States / Kids

Today, I started to get horny while watching TV with my husband. I tried turning him on by telling him I wanted his cock. He cheerfully replied without looking away from the TV, "If only I gave a fuck, babe, if only I gave a fuck!" FML

by 404: fuck not given / 11/23/2014 at 11:34am / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy

Today, I accidentally called my boss 'mom'. Now she is jokingly telling everyone that I'm the long-lost daughter she gave up for adoption, because she knew I'd be a failure. FML

by naladetet / 11/23/2014 at 3:31am / United States (New Jersey) / Work

Today, I asked my dad if he thought my dress was nice, and if guys would go for me. He replied, "Shit, depends on how drunk they are." FML

by Veronica / 11/21/2014 at 3:07pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous