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benneth002

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benneth002

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  • Number of visits : 405
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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benneth002's page activity

Visits<b>ozpunker</b> - the 03/16/2013 at 7:54pm

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benneth002's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up feeling awful and decided to make myself a nice egg omelette with bacon, toast and fresh fruit. As I went to eat it, I stubbed my toe and dropped it all on the floor. My dogs were very happy about that. FML

#21312082
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28325) - you deserved it (2787)

On 12/05/2014 at 4:00pm - misc - by Dani (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my mom found my dildo, and got so angry that she beat me with it. FML

#21309415
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42532) - you deserved it (10813)

On 12/01/2014 at 12:55pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend bought me some feminine cleansing wipes for my birthday so I could, "get the hoo-ha spick-and-span." FML

#21309102
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31155) - you deserved it (4974)

On 11/30/2014 at 10:32pm - intimacy - by fishtacos (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I bought a Santa hat. After wearing the hat for a few hours, I noticed a strange lump near the tip of it. I stuck my hand inside to dig out the mysterious object. It was a dead cockroach. FML

#21308445
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30114) - you deserved it (2976)

On 11/29/2014 at 11:44pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, while walking home with my mom, some unoriginal cockshart in a passing car yelled at me: "Fuck her in the pussy!" It was a long, awkward walk home after that. FML

#21308349
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28786) - you deserved it (2483)

On 11/29/2014 at 8:38pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to explain to a customer that 50% off a $50 item did not make the item free. FML

#21307823
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37362) - you deserved it (2314)

On 11/28/2014 at 10:36pm - misc - by idiots - United States (Texas)

Today, and for the past few days, there is a musical box stuck somewhere in my attic that randomly plays Christmas songs. FML

Today, after Thanksgiving dinner, we all played Cards Against Humanity. On one round, I was the dealer, and I received "foreskin" as a card. When I said this, my grandmother told me that apparently, after my ritual circumcision, my grandfather buried my foreskin under our rosebushes. FML

#21307273
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28243) - you deserved it (2769)

On 11/28/2014 at 12:25am - misc - by mainlineloser (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, some idiot introduced my grandmother to yoga pants. FML

#21306857
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33761) - you deserved it (3192)

On 11/27/2014 at 1:51pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I came home late from work. As I got out of my car, I noticed a child-shaped silhouette in my bedroom window. I almost shat myself, since I live alone. I searched the whole house, sobbing in fear, only to find no trace of whatever or whoever I'd seen. FML

#21306286
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38129) - you deserved it (3148)

On 11/26/2014 at 3:45pm - misc - by void bowels() { cry(); } (man) - United Kingdom (Caerphilly)

Today, I agreed to give my husband head while he played Call of Duty. I was happy because he enjoyed it at first, until he started getting his ass kicked in the game. He lost and angrily blamed me for distracting him. FML

#21306254
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33865) - you deserved it (5337)

On 11/26/2014 at 2:41pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I drove over an hour to my grandma's house for her birthday party. When she answered the door, her eyes went wide and she said angrily "No, not you!" and slammed the door shut in my face. FML

#21306195
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29450) - you deserved it (2389)

On 11/26/2014 at 1:13pm - misc - by unwanted (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, as I walked into the bank, I tripped and bumped into a security guard. He thought I was assaulting him, so he pinned me to the floor and called for backup as he held me at gunpoint. FML

#21305863
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32617) - you deserved it (2619)

On 11/25/2014 at 3:15pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my mom booked a family trip to Sweden. This would be great, if she hadn't asked me to tell our former German exchange student that we were coming to visit her in Germany. She was thrilled. Now I have to be the one to let her down. FML

#21305750
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27464) - you deserved it (2255)

On 11/25/2014 at 11:14am - misc - by Blöde Gans - United States (Florida)

Today, I met my best friend's girlfriend for the first time. After a few hours of talking and eating, she followed me to the bathroom and said, dead serious, ''If you ever touch him or get too close to him, I will cut you''. I've known him for twelve years, they have been dating for a month. FML

#21305050
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37909) - you deserved it (2882)

On 11/24/2014 at 8:44am - love - by ohwell (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)



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