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Today, I bought an expensive razor that's supposed to be great. My roommate asked if she could borrow it, and as her legs just looked like they needed touching up, I said sure. After a strangely long amount of time, she came back, thanked me and left. Her legs were still hairy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30690) - you deserved it (1688)
On 03/24/2013 at 1:30am - misc - by bleach (woman) - United Kingdom
Today, I went to the airport after saying goodbye to my, for some reason, giggling boyfriend. I learnt why he was so cheerful when I opened my purse in front of the guards, only to find pink-furry handcuffs, and a huge dildo. They pretended not to know what it was. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39521) - you deserved it (4876)
On 03/23/2013 at 11:21am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Norway (Sor-Trondelag)
Today, a small fly flew straight up into my nose. I spent 10 minutes trying to blow/scratch/pick it out to no avail. I can still feel it moving. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32947) - you deserved it (2022)
On 03/23/2013 at 4:17am - misc - by WTFLY (woman) - United States (Hawaii)
Today, I kissed my gorgeous new boyfriend for the first time. I ran my hands through his hair; a multitude of dandruff rained out and five lice crawled onto my hand. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42733) - you deserved it (5787)
On 03/22/2013 at 1:28am - love - by eww. (woman) - Australia
Today, I learned that if not for my grandfather gifting my dad $200, I would have been named Anthrax. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26347) - you deserved it (1610)
On 03/20/2013 at 9:11pm - misc - by cheeseburglar_9000 (man) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I went out to a restaurant to meet a girl that I met online. When I arrived I texted her and she said she she was wearing a blue shirt. The only person that was wearing anything blue was a fat man smiling in the corner. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31506) - you deserved it (7162)
On 03/20/2013 at 5:16pm - misc - by bobthenun - United States (California)
Today, a cute guy who works at the mall winked at me. When I met up with my boyfriend, I bragged to him about it. His response was, "Don't flatter yourself, he winked at me too." FML
I agree, your life sucks (26359) - you deserved it (14000)
On 03/18/2013 at 11:29pm - love - by amberrenee91 - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, my parents asked me if I was sexually active. My grandma then screamed from upstairs, "She's not even physically active!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (36237) - you deserved it (9421)
On 03/18/2013 at 4:59am - intimacy - by Susan (woman) - Ireland
Today, my needle-phobic mother took me to get a shot. She fainted. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17283) - you deserved it (1810)
On 02/12/2013 at 2:41am - health - by shots shots shots (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my grandmother walked in on me watching porn on my computer. She looked at the woman on the screen and said, "I used to have tits like that, but look what having 7 kids did to them." Now I'm scarred for life. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16448) - you deserved it (24071)
On 02/01/2013 at 6:05am - intimacy - by Master Debater (man) - Australia
Today, I took my new girlfriend to meet my grandmother. We were drinking coffee when my gran leaned to one side and let out a huge fart. Proud of herself, she added, "That one didn't pay his rent on time!" Coffee came out of my girlfriend's nose. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25352) - you deserved it (3097) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 01/29/2013 at 2:56pm - love - by jay ze punk - France (Rhone-Alpes)
Today, I played an intense paintball match, with me and my friends versus my boyfriend and his buddies. When we won, my boyfriend went mental and said he only lost because of "lag". When I pointed out we weren't in a video game, he reacted by firing a paintball straight into my chest. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30623) - you deserved it (3977)
On 01/25/2013 at 5:19pm - health - by LagSwitchFTW (woman) - United Kingdom
Today, feeling lonely after my recent breakup, I put on my nicest clothes and went out clubbing with a few friends. I brought a guy back to my place, and we got intimate. It was going well, until he took off my push-up bra, then panicked and drunkenly asked, "Where'd they go?!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (18592) - you deserved it (33951)
On 01/24/2013 at 7:54pm - intimacy - by chase (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)
Today, I learned my dog had eaten a roll of vet wrap, which is like a long strip of bandage. I learned this when she tried to pass it in the yard today, and could only do so with my help. It seemed to never end. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20536) - you deserved it (1852)
On 01/24/2013 at 7:28pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I waited over 30 minutes in freezing cold weather for my bus. When it finally arrived, I went to get on board, but slipped and fell on the icy ground. The driver waited a whole 2 seconds before snorting, "Ain't nobody got time for this shit", closing the doors, and driving off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33108) - you deserved it (2019)
On 01/24/2013 at 4:25pm - misc - by frozensolid (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)
Monday 20 May 2013
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