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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, my friend told the cute waiter it was my birthday. He brought out a dessert with a candle and put a huge sombrero on my head. Everyone at the restaurant started singing me happy birthday. I got embarrassed and put my head down. My sombrero caught on fire. FML
I agree, your life sucks (57212) - you deserved it (21415)
On 03/29/2009 at 5:08pm - misc - by Hotsauce887 (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I went to Walgreen's for a tub of Vaseline. The old guy at the counter looked at me, winked, and said, "Not having too much luck with the ladies, eh?" He was right. FML
I agree, your life sucks (59472) - you deserved it (10923)
On 03/29/2009 at 3:08pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I was giving a lecture to my class I heard a phone go off. Aggravated and exhausted, I asked everyone to turn their phones off. Then the phone rang again. I lost my shit and spent the next half hour calling my students a bunch of "technology whores". Then I realized the phone was mine. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9083) - you deserved it (133378)
On 03/29/2009 at 2:41pm - misc - by emkaycutie (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, my boyfriend and I were snuggling on bed watching tv. He gets up at one point and turns the light off and I asked him why. He said "You look better in the dark". FML
I agree, your life sucks (66834) - you deserved it (4071)
On 03/29/2009 at 1:41pm - love - by sadgf (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I proposed to my girlfriend in the food court at the mall. When she said "yes", the entire food court broke out in applause, and my girlfriend and I were escorted out of the mall for "starting a riot". I never knew clapping was a crime. FML
I agree, your life sucks (81) - you deserved it (16376)
On 03/29/2009 at 10:03am - love - by engaged (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I got a chance to have dinner and a movie with a girl I've liked for a while. I ran late, so in a hurry to make the movie, and trying to be smooth for her, I told the waiter I'd "take care of him" if he made it fast. He did. When he brought the check, I realized I had forgotten my wallet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15444) - you deserved it (46325)
On 03/29/2009 at 9:38am - money - by BrokeAsAJoke (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was playing with my kid cousin outside. It was warm, so I was wearing my new bikini, and felt pretty good about myself. She suddenly turns to me and asks: "How come your tits are so small when you have such a big belly?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (59687) - you deserved it (8199)
On 03/29/2009 at 8:32am - kids - by Chubs (woman) - Norway (Sor-Trondelag)
Today, I was hanging with my boyfriend and when his mom came to pick him up, he introduced me. She talked to me politely and i thought we hit it off very well. As I was walking away I hear her say "That's your new girlfriend? Honey, you could do so much better". FML
I agree, your life sucks (66084) - you deserved it (2993)
On 03/29/2009 at 2:40am - love - by crushed (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I saw a spider in my bathtub, so instead of killing it, i decided to bring my dog inside the bathroom to kill the spider for me. Turns out that the spider was a black widow, and my dog was bit. The dog killed the spider. The spider killed my dog. FML
I agree, your life sucks (62506) - you deserved it (116459)
On 03/29/2009 at 1:04am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, I heard a little girl saying how much she didnt want braces to her mom because they hurt and make people look ugly. I looked at her and said, "Aww, there not that bad. See, I have them!" I then smiled to show her. She turned to her mom and said, "See!" then started to cry. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45477) - you deserved it (7614)
On 03/29/2009 at 12:12am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, after a tiff with my boyfriend, I said to him, "You could at least PRETEND to love me sometimes." He responded with, "I do pretend to love you!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (47319) - you deserved it (18964)
On 03/28/2009 at 11:34pm - love - by Betsydoll (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I was having lunch at a cafe. There was an attractive guy looking at me from another table. I smiled back and gave a little wink. A minute later he approached me. I introduced myself and asked if he wanted my number. He said, "Um, no but what are you eating? It looks really good" FML
I agree, your life sucks (38591) - you deserved it (15750)
On 03/28/2009 at 10:14pm - misc - by Samantha (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my sister brought her class hamster home from school. Somehow it escaped from its cage, and ran into my room. My boyfriend, thinking it was a mouse, stomped on it. I'm stuck cleaning hamster guts from my carpet, and explaining to a kindergarten class what happened to their pet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46248) - you deserved it (5570)
On 03/28/2009 at 9:33pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, my college economics class had a big test. We all needed a scantron sheet, but some people forgot some. I had an extra one and this really hot girl offered to buy it for $1.00. I said I'd give it to her for her number. She looked around and asked "Does anyone else have an extra?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (40333) - you deserved it (24446)
On 03/28/2009 at 8:13pm - misc - by thathurt (man) - United States (Tennessee)
Today, I was going through my old MSN conversations. I then realized that when I first got MSN, I didn't know that messages you sent after people went offline would be delivered to them when they signed in. I used to type 'I love you' to my crush after every time he went offline. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27120) - you deserved it (66318)
On 03/28/2009 at 6:13pm - love - by WeezysBaby (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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