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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I got rear-ended at a stoplight by a woman who had been doing her make-up while driving. She didn't get out to see if I was okay until she had finished perfectly applying both lipliner and gloss. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46333) - you deserved it (1550)
On 05/10/2009 at 5:56am - misc - by disturbed (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Today, I was supposed to catch a 4:40 flight to New York. My 5 year old son handed me my carry on bag as I left the house. Turns out he had put his older brother's BB gun into my bag to "keep me safe." I missed my flight after I was detained and strip-searched. FML
I agree, your life sucks (52206) - you deserved it (5106)
On 05/10/2009 at 1:05am - kids - by sucksforme. (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, while working my job as a cashier, one of the customers that came to the register was a midget. As part of store policy, I had to ID him, and his driver's license said he was from Florida. So I asked, without catching myself, "How's the weather down there?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (25769) - you deserved it (37268)
On 05/09/2009 at 10:05pm - work - by Failoffel (man) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, my parents hosted a party at our house. After seeing one of the extremely beautiful guests, I went to masturbate in my room. When I was about to finish, my bedroom door opened suddenly. It was my mom showing around 10 party guests that our dog can open doors. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19385) - you deserved it (61768)
On 05/09/2009 at 9:04pm - intimacy - by Jeremy (man) - United States (California)
Today, my parents hosted a party at our house. After seeing one of the extremely beautiful guests, I went to masturbate in my room. When I was about to finish, my bedroom door opened suddenly. It was my mom showing around 10 party guests that our dog can open doors. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19385) - you deserved it (61768)
On 05/09/2009 at 9:04pm - intimacy - by Jeremy (man) - United States (California)
Today, I texted everyone in my phone to remind them mother's day is tomorrow. Everyone including the boy whose mom died last year. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13323) - you deserved it (9240)
On 05/09/2009 at 4:38pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, my roommate and I were walking to a bar and a group of guys shouted out at us "Hey, it's like we're on Animal Planet, I see a zebra and a gorilla." My roommate was wearing a zebra print shirt. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43507) - you deserved it (4151)
On 05/09/2009 at 9:53am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I was kneeling down at work to do some cleaning. My co-worker said, "Oh don't your knees hurt, kneeling like that for so long?" Without thinking how it sounded, I said, "Oh no, it's not a problem. I'm on my knees all the time." He's yet to stop hitting on me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17418) - you deserved it (41323)
On 05/09/2009 at 2:43am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I saw my little brother playing with my new kitten. He is only five and isn't very gentle so I took the cat away and told him "You can't play with the cat! I don't think he likes you very much!" In a joking tone. The cat then bit and clawed my face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10213) - you deserved it (35054)
On 05/09/2009 at 2:08am - animals - by Christine (woman) - United States (Nevada)
Today, I was walking in the park when I saw an attractive girl walking nearby. I approached her to strike up a conversation when suddenly a large fly invaded my left nostril, and became lodged inside. After picking out the bloody fly pieces, I looked up to see the girl walking away, gagging. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44336) - you deserved it (3871)
On 05/08/2009 at 9:07pm - animals - by jamblasticus (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, I was serving a family at the restaurant where I work. When I went to ask the little girl what she wanted, I was tongue-tied and got "cutie" and "hun" mixed up and ended up asking, "What can I get for you, cuntie?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (67355) - you deserved it (17980)
On 05/08/2009 at 4:53pm - work - by keeks_25 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I went to Target. I was on my way to the bathroom when I find a huge mirror. No one was around so I started to see how my butt looked in my jeans, checked up my nose and fixed my bra. An older woman then walks out of a door next to the mirror and explains that it's a two-way mirror. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14992) - you deserved it (32106)
On 05/08/2009 at 1:25am - misc - by cammy123 (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I went downtown to pay my speeding ticket. After standing in line and arguing with a rude woman behind the desk, I get back to my car only to find an expired meter and a parking ticket. I got a ticket while paying my ticket. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41397) - you deserved it (12199)
On 05/04/2009 at 5:50pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I found out my grandmother passed away. When I told my boyfriend I began to cry. Instead of caring, he said "you're getting my bed wet," rolled over, and fell asleep. FML
I agree, your life sucks (66227) - you deserved it (4507)
On 05/04/2009 at 4:44pm - misc - by JessBaby (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I decided to modify my resume since I've handed out over 30 of them in the past couple of weeks and I haven't gotten any calls back. As soon as I opened it on word document, I noticed that I had forgotten to include my phone number for employers to contact me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9813) - you deserved it (53881)
On 05/04/2009 at 4:15pm - work - by Loser (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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