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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I was peeing in a urinal at a bar. A drunk guy comes in, and seeing no urinals open, he decides to pee between my legs from behind me. He didn't have good aim. FML
I agree, your life sucks (52694) - you deserved it (2186)
On 07/27/2009 at 3:07pm - misc - by webperson04 (man) - United States (Louisiana)
Today, I got an invitation to my ex-boyfriend's wedding. We broke up because "he didn't believe in marriage." FML
I agree, your life sucks (61218) - you deserved it (2936)
On 06/01/2009 at 3:08pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, my boyfriend, and best friend, had baked a cake, and wouldnt tell anyone who it was for. When I asked he said I'd know soon. He met me after class to break up with me and offered me the cake to make me feel better. FML
I agree, your life sucks (54618) - you deserved it (2115)
On 04/11/2009 at 2:38pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my girlfriend's friend told her she had seen me shopping with a cute girl. When I came back home my girlfriend punched me in the face and asked who the girl was. Apparently her friend didn't tell her the cute girl was my three years old niece. I lost a tooth because of that punch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (71061) - you deserved it (3131)
On 04/11/2009 at 2:36am - love - by GotPunched (man) - Finland (Western Finland)
Today, me and my boyfriend were telling eachother secrets and I told him i've shaved my upper lip. He said "I know, it's prickly when we make out." FML
I agree, your life sucks (42021) - you deserved it (19818)
On 04/06/2009 at 5:50pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)
Today, I was going to have sex with my Hispanic boyfriend. I wanted to turn him on, so I asked my friend how to say "fuck me" in Spanish. She claimed it was 'pollo frito'. I then had sex, constantly screaming 'pollo frito' for an hour. I later realized I was screaming "fried chicken." FML
I agree, your life sucks (41195) - you deserved it (115414)
On 04/06/2009 at 3:51pm - intimacy - by FML.. (woman) - China (Hebei)
Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for awhile, and we were joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML
I agree, your life sucks (233296) - you deserved it (20083)
On 04/06/2009 at 3:39pm - intimacy - by creepermagnet (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, my biology teacher told me that every Friday we should wear a hideous shirt to count down the last days of freshman year. So when Friday came around we decided to have a contest for most hideous shirt. I won. I forgot to wear a hideous shirt. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51141) - you deserved it (7344)
On 04/04/2009 at 7:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I was fired because a patron complained that she didn't like the way I kept staring at her kids. I was a lifeguard. FML
I agree, your life sucks (71413) - you deserved it (2710)
On 04/04/2009 at 3:03pm - work - by Lifeguard (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my best friend and I came home from Japan. Her boyfriend and I have been having an affair before I left so I decided not to tell him she was coming with me. We just got off the plane and got a bite to eat, he was waiting for me so he could propose, my best friend was standing next to me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8847) - you deserved it (127282)
On 04/03/2009 at 5:43pm - love - by C0olgirl (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, it was my second day of work as a promoter for a glasses company. After 2 hours of work I was told I had quadrupled sales in their glasses shop. Feeling chuffed with myself I almost danced out of the shop knocking over a huge shelf full of glasses. The glasses will cost over £1,400 to replace. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14556) - you deserved it (36961)
On 04/02/2009 at 4:19am - money - by dannyboy (man) - United Kingdom (Newcastle upon Tyne)
Today, as I worked the drive-through at Wendy's, the hottest girl from my math class pulled up to the window. As I handed her the drink, I asked her what she thought of our math test today. She screamed "How did you know I had a math test, you creep!", threw the drink at me, and drove off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (69696) - you deserved it (4420)
On 04/02/2009 at 1:09am - work - by olalala2382 (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, as an April fools day joke, I decided to tell my mom and dad that I was gay. After an awkward silence, my mom looks at me, smiles, and says, "well, we have known for a while." She wasn't joking. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22481) - you deserved it (45021)
On 04/01/2009 at 1:13am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I asked my boyfriend of almost ten months who his top five women to have it off with would be. I was third. My mom was second. FML
I agree, your life sucks (80264) - you deserved it (11159)
On 03/30/2009 at 8:39pm - misc - by lucky (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I finally passed a math exam. I go home super excited to tell my mom, yelling "Mom! Guess what!?!?!" She turns to me all happy and goes "You finally got a boyfriend!?!?!?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (52373) - you deserved it (5090)
On 03/30/2009 at 6:14am - misc - by wasntme (woman) - Netherlands (Zuid-Holland)
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