believe_alanis

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believe_alanis

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 26 September 1983 (33 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 960
  • Number of comments : 12
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About believe_alanis : Loving My Life :)

believe_alanis's page activity

Visits<b>lost7702</b> - the 07/11/2016 at 2:55pm<b>shabadabba</b> - the 01/29/2016 at 4:54pm<b>oracle96</b> - the 03/01/2014 at 6:15pm<b>swick25</b> - the 02/18/2014 at 6:20pm<b>Ciarasdfghjkl_</b> - the 01/06/2014 at 6:43pm<b>sexysaltshaker</b> - the 11/22/2013 at 8:13pm<b>floatingpandas</b> - the 05/13/2013 at 3:30pm<b>fmleveryday1135</b> - the 03/19/2013 at 11:11am<b>AllegroRubato</b> - the 02/05/2013 at 6:07pm

believe_alanis's FML badges

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

See all of believe_alanis's badges

believe_alanis's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to work only to serve one table, make a $9.00 tip, get sent home because it was slow, have the city busses stop running because of weather, and have to pay a $20 cab fare to get home. FML

by ren / 01/13/2009 at 3:54pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Love

Today, I had to give a speech in front of my class and during my speech I had to say the words "But six"; however, because of my accent it sounded like "Butt sex". For the remainder of the day I was frequently asked about "Butt sex". FML

by Explicit / 01/13/2009 at 1:17pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy

Today, my portfolio manager called me and said he had invested all of my retirement in Circuit City. FML

by Noname / 01/13/2009 at 5:06am / United States (Virginia) / Money

Today, like every other day, I turn up at work at the security guard's gate to show my ID badge. Except that my brother had stuck a huge "FBI" sticker on it. My co-workers now all call me Mulder. FML

by MAC / 01/13/2009 at 4:47am / Work

Today, I'm a 23 year old girl who often has to wear two pairs of socks. I don't have four feet, but I have no boobs. FML

by carrie / 01/13/2009 at 1:41am / Algeria / Miscellaneous

Today, as I came out of some changing rooms in a clothes shop, I gave back all the stuff I'd tried on to a saleswoman. I then walk off, make it about a couple of yards, change my mind and decide to purchase one of the items I'd tried. When I get back, the saleswoman was spraying the changing room I'd used with deodorant. FML

by carla / 01/12/2009 at 8:35pm / France (Languedoc-Roussillon) / Miscellaneous

Today, moments after leaving early, my boss emails me asking if I'm in the office. After an illegal U-turn, running a stop sign, parking in a visitor spot, and sneaking back to my desk, I find out she was locked out of the building but had since found her keys and let herself back in. FML

by Leaving Early Fail / 01/12/2009 at 3:34pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, my man and I were having sex on edge of bed. We were using chocolate spread and I was riding him. When we were done, he got up and I noticed a long brown line on the edge of the bed. I knelt down to smell it. It was NOT chocolate. FML

by Poopy / 01/12/2009 at 11:19am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my coworker told me that the framed picture our boss put on her desk last week was not, as I originally thought, a picture of her father, but a picture of Rupert Murdoch. FML

by newscorp employee / 01/12/2009 at 11:03am / United States (New Jersey) / Work

Today, my mother bought me Mickey Mouse shaped burgers for my dinner. I'm 19. FML

by ana9 / 01/12/2009 at 10:56am / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend and I were looking for our bubblegum flavored "numbing" lotion to have some morning fun. We couldnt find it anywhere. After about 10 minutes, my little nephew comes from my room crying and drool coming out of his mouth. He smelt like bubblegum, his mouth and tongue were all numb. FML

by LiLGeek / 01/12/2009 at 10:37am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I have -$700 in my current account, $500 from overdraft fees because I spent money they told me I had. I don't get paid till the 15th and when I cash in my paycheck all of it will go to bringing me even. So the $9 I found in my wallet this morning will have to last me untill the 30th. FML

by Celina / 01/12/2009 at 4:55am / United States (California) / Money

Today, I regret that break we took. I thought it would lead him to realize that he wanted to stop cheating and flirting with other girls and be with only me forever. Now I'm the girl he cheats on his girlfriend with. FML

by Celina / 01/11/2009 at 1:08pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, I have a degree in electrical engineering, my wife was doing a crossword and asked me what are the units of capacitance, I couldn't remember. FML

by jibjab / 01/11/2009 at 11:46am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I lost my third phone in a year. Making it a grand total of 11 telephones lost or stolen in the past 3 years. FML

by failphone / 01/07/2009 at 2:57pm / United States (California) / Geek