Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

believe_alanis

Search for a member

believe_alanis

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 26 September 1983 (31 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 524
  • Number of comments : 12
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About believe_alanis : Loving My Life :)

believe_alanis's page activity

Visits<b>oracle96</b> - the 03/01/2014 at 6:15pm<b>swick25</b> - the 02/18/2014 at 6:20pm<b>Ciarasdfghjkl_</b> - the 01/06/2014 at 6:43pm<b>sexysaltshaker</b> - the 11/22/2013 at 8:13pm<b>floatingpandas</b> - the 05/13/2013 at 3:30pm<b>fmleveryday1135</b> - the 03/19/2013 at 11:11am<b>AllegroRubato</b> - the 02/05/2013 at 6:07pm

believe_alanis's FML badges

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

See all of believe_alanis's badges

believe_alanis's favorite FMLs

Today, my parents heard from my sister that I'd recently lost my virginity to my girlfriend. I've never been bitched out so viciously in my life, and yet my sister, whom everyone knows has had numerous casual sexual partners this year, is treated like a princess 24/7. FML

#20188038
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25397) - you deserved it (2071)

On 12/02/2012 at 1:55pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Suffolk)

Today, my girlfriend accused me of cheating, because I tipped our waitress at dinner. FML

#20186136
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25930) - you deserved it (2277)

On 12/01/2012 at 12:59am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, a stranger called me, saying I look hot in the bra I was wearing. When I hung up, thinking it was a joke, I opened the back door, and saw a man running away from my backyard. FML

#20079219
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28966) - you deserved it (1889)

On 09/19/2012 at 1:02pm - misc - by jitiizer (woman) - Netherlands (Friesland)

Today, I was excited to get my first writing assignment since starting law school. I found out that I have to write a paper defending free speech. This wouldn't be a problem if I didn't have to defend the Westboro Baptist Church and if I weren't a former Marine. FML

#20079105
261 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29061) - you deserved it (3014)

On 09/19/2012 at 10:54am - misc - by LawStudent (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I spent ten minutes looking for my cell phone in the dark, only to realize the light I was using was my cell phone's. FML

#20078695
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7203) - you deserved it (29851)

On 09/19/2012 at 12:14am - misc - by unaware - United States (Ohio)

Today, my dad's recycling went out of control. He now keeps a calendar of my periods, just to remind me to recycle the cardboard from my tampons. FML

#20078344
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23282) - you deserved it (1601)

On 09/18/2012 at 8:42pm - misc - by disgusted (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, thinking I was alone in my house, I went downstairs in my underwear, singing at the top of my voice. I strutted into the kitchen to find two middle-aged men I'd never seen before sat at the kitchen table, drinking coffee. Turns out they will be painting our house for the next two weeks. FML

#20077635
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22444) - you deserved it (3810)

On 09/18/2012 at 10:48am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I was on a train. An elderly woman and her daughter got on, looking for a seat. The daughter suggested the one next to mine. The elderly woman looked at me and said something in Russian. I speak some Russian. She said she didn't want to "sit by the hooker." FML

#20077596
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20450) - you deserved it (3539)

On 09/18/2012 at 10:04am - misc - by dearbailee (woman) - United States

Today, I got engaged. My family is already placing bets on how long it will take for my fiancée to "wise up and ditch" me. FML

#20077487
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21011) - you deserved it (1940)

On 09/18/2012 at 7:22am - love - by thanksfamily (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, at school, a guy walked up to me and said I look a little too young to be at high school. I told him that I'm sixteen years old. He stared at my chest for several long seconds, muttered "What the fuck?" and walked off. FML

#20076675
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24987) - you deserved it (2298)

On 09/17/2012 at 7:14pm - misc - by wtf yourself, cunt (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, after almost nine months of doing anything and everything to show my love for my girlfriend and make her happy, she told me she would give "anything" to relive the one week of her and her ex's relationship where she was the happiest in her life. FML

#7831807
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26765) - you deserved it (3042)

On 02/02/2010 at 10:52pm - love - by redjesus69 (man) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I got together with a small gathering of friends in a bar. I go up to the bar to order something, but with all the music and noise, the barman can't hear what I'm trying to say, so he leans forward, cocking his ear towards me. For some reason, I thought he was being friendly so I kissed him as if we were saying hello to each other. FML

#1056
16 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8958) - you deserved it (17305)

On 01/14/2009 at 12:01am - misc - by Ad-s - Sent from mobile version

Today, I stole one of my cousin's chocolates. I didn't tell her, after I ate it, I read the box and realized that it was a chocolate laxative. I'm posting this from the bathroom. FML

#1052
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5551) - you deserved it (35402)

On 01/13/2009 at 8:05pm - misc - by dannij08 - United States (California)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: