About beehardxcore : I'm not the nicest person you'll meet, the funniest, the prettiest, or the smartest. But I guarantee, you'll remember me. For some reason or another, I'll get stuck in your head. :]
I like:
reading, writing, photography, music, smoking, laughing, dancing, kissing, walking, hugging, smiling, being silly, being outspoken, my dogs, my son, my best friend, my not-quite-best friends, and my acquaintances.
Disclaimer: I'm a sarcastic bitch. I'm aware that sometimes sarcasm is hard to detect over text, but I'm not an idiot. So if I say something you find "stupid", and follow it up with an emoticon, it's fucking sarcasm.
The internet is full of morons who think they're brilliant. I'm on a mission to call them out.
YDI master
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
Between your Facebook account and your FML account, things are no longer complicated: their relationship is official. We like this.
100 kick ass comments
100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!
Today, my boyfriend started to kiss my boobs. I am pregnant and started my lactation period. Now every time he looks at me he calls me milky way. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23905) - you deserved it (4010)
On 08/22/2010 at 12:26am - intimacy - by ananomus - United States (Ohio)
Today, my incredibly self conscious girlfriend decided to get over her fears and let me see her in her underwear. She did a short strip tease, crawled on top of me and asked what I thought. I couldn't think of anything to say besides, "Your bra and panties don't match." FML
I agree, your life sucks (7324) - you deserved it (58523)
On 08/19/2010 at 3:16pm - intimacy - by captainocd - United States (Texas)
Today, I got wii fit, wii Mario kart and wii Mario galaxy for my birthday, I don't have a wii. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27632) - you deserved it (3312)
On 08/19/2010 at 8:02am - misc - by ktin - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I put on my new sexy lingerie to get my husband in the mood after work. When I walked into the kitchen where he was reading the newspaper, he eyed me and simply said, "Honey, please, your stomach is the biggest turnoff ever." FML
I agree, your life sucks (41473) - you deserved it (12361)
On 08/18/2010 at 2:23am - intimacy - by ...thanks honey - United States (California)
Today, my girlfriend asked for a picture of my penis, so I sent her one. Then later on, she asked for one when I was hard, the first one I sent I was hard. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26734) - you deserved it (14932)
On 08/18/2010 at 12:09am - intimacy - by Photagrapher - Sent from mobile version
Today, my brother's girlfriend and my girlfriend went out shopping. My brother's girlfriend bought a pair of killer black heels and a box of condoms. My girlfriend bought a pair of orange Crocs and a vibrator. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34181) - you deserved it (1791)
On 08/09/2010 at 9:24am - intimacy - by Mikey832 (man) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)
Today, I was late to work because the metro broke down. Yesterday I was late to work because the train in front of me broke down. The week before that I was late to work because the swat team shut the entire metro station down. Even the interns think I'm making this up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31560) - you deserved it (2225)
On 06/30/2010 at 7:36pm - work - by Katie (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)
Today, I asked my boyfriend if I looked alright for our date. He said, "Honey, you look fine, just don't go out in public like that." FML
I agree, your life sucks (26799) - you deserved it (4449)
On 06/28/2010 at 11:19pm - love - by Chey1309 - United States (Michigan)
Today, a cute thirty-ish chick walked into the bar I work in. I asked her for her license to make her feel young. She didn't have her license on her and started yelling about how stupid it was to even ask, when she obviously was old enough to drink. She then got up and left. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24969) - you deserved it (8554)
On 06/28/2010 at 10:21pm - work - by anonymous - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I met my boyfriend's notoriously difficult mother. I had been looking forward to meeting her and making a good impression. Unfortunately, I could not greet her as her son's penis was still in my mouth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19388) - you deserved it (9181)
On 01/13/2010 at 11:42am - intimacy - by pleasedtomeetyou (woman) - United Kingdom
Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have sex. He tried to put it in unerected. He was serious. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13999) - you deserved it (2267)
On 01/02/2010 at 12:22pm - intimacy - by xxxzzzooo (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, a woman pushed me at the bar and told me how much she's always hated me. She was my grade five teacher. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21744) - you deserved it (2307)
On 12/18/2009 at 3:44pm - misc - by flurina (woman) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, after having a shower, I walked back into my room butt naked. As I looked up I saw the window cleaner staring right at me. I looked. He looked. And without thinking I dropped straight to the floor to hid myself, then realized my naked butt was still staring right at him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10238) - you deserved it (4154)
On 12/10/2009 at 2:51pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire)
Today, I went to Walmart with my girlfriend. We bought the usual, food, Advil and condoms. While I waited in line, she went to grab everything. When she came back, I looked in the cart and saw no condoms. I asked her why she didn't get any. She replied "They ran out of smalls." Everyone laughed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37821) - you deserved it (6085)
On 12/01/2009 at 4:11pm - misc - by xXxJoe16xXx - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I found out that my dad hides his Viagra from my mom by keeping it in an Aspirin container. Now I have a terrible headache and a boner. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26893) - you deserved it (3067)
On 11/23/2009 at 1:05pm - intimacy - by sickkid (man) - United States (California)
Friday 24 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML Follow the FML blog Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
