Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

beehardxcore

Offline (the 09/15/2014 at 7:57pm) | Search for a member

beehardxcore

0Liked!

beehardxcore
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 24 May 1991 (23 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1737
  • Number of comments : 168
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 22 posted

About beehardxcore : I'm not the nicest person, the funniest, the prettiest, or the smartest. But for some reason or another, I'll get stuck in your head. :]

The internet is full of morons who think they're brilliant. I'm on a mission to call them out.

beehardxcore's page activity

Visits<b>QD</b> - the 12/17/2014 at 1:26pm<b>ZY1431</b> - the 12/06/2014 at 2:55pm<b>ZachHatesPeople</b> - the 12/05/2014 at 4:20pm<b>paigexox0</b> - the 12/03/2014 at 10:00am<b>rocker_chick23</b> - the 12/02/2014 at 11:35am<b>tchatfield9413</b> - the 11/08/2014 at 9:31am<b>adrianvons</b> - the 10/29/2014 at 6:32am<b>b5b0n36</b> - the 10/25/2014 at 11:43am<b>ilovemsminaj</b> - the 10/21/2014 at 5:35am<b>jjjoey4</b> - the 10/05/2014 at 12:47pm<b>AirBusDriver</b> - the 09/19/2014 at 4:37pm<b>iti</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 8:14am<b>Landesanity</b> - the 09/01/2014 at 10:10pm<b>okcnation</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 11:40am<b>tweak2011</b> - the 07/14/2014 at 11:34pm<b>ChrisTehAsian</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 2:41am<b>NyxBear</b> - the 07/05/2014 at 12:17am<b>BobRoss9</b> - the 06/25/2014 at 1:29am

beehardxcore's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of beehardxcore's badges

beehardxcore's favorite FMLs

Today, while finally about to make love with my long term boyfriend, he came from putting a condom on. FML

#21249014
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45292) - you deserved it (4516)

On 08/31/2014 at 11:14am - intimacy - by anon - United States (Texas)

Today, I heard my sister gagging in her room. She was doing it quietly, and I got pretty concerned, after hearing a lot about bulimia recently. I knocked, then heard a gasp, so I let myself in, only to see her on her knees and her boyfriend with his underwear around his ankles. FML

#21233355
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51616) - you deserved it (21092)

On 08/09/2014 at 3:29pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I went to a bookstore to get "The Grapes of Wrath". I have a problem with controlling the volume of my voice, so once at the counter, I accidentally said quite loudly, "WHERE ARE THE ANGRY GRAPES?" FML

#21217858
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35181) - you deserved it (11511)

On 07/22/2014 at 11:36pm - misc - by Face fucking palm - United States (Georgia)

Today, my wife was putting her finger in my bellybutton and making overly sexual noises. I thought this was all fun and games until I realized she was actually into this. FML

#21209385
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50482) - you deserved it (6321)

On 07/14/2014 at 11:25pm - intimacy - by thedoc (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my fiancée has been saying, "Shit's gone cray-cray" for over a week. I finally snapped. When I was done ranting, she murmured, "Baby, don't be cray-cray". FML

#21204913
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46679) - you deserved it (8164)

On 07/10/2014 at 9:34am - love - by oh my fucking god (woman) - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, my girlfriend was feeling down because she has put on some weight. I tried to make her feel better by showing her I can still pick her up. I can, and I was even able to hide the fact that I shat myself doing it. I'm so romantic. FML

#21200680
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53022) - you deserved it (8001)

On 07/06/2014 at 3:28pm - love - by oh shit (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I smacked my kid on top of the head for spinning the display rack while I was looking at greeting cards. It wasn't until he dramatically screamed and dropped to the floor wailing that I realized he wasn't my daughter. FML

#21194154
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28851) - you deserved it (42197)

On 06/30/2014 at 7:39pm - kids - by BaWanda (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was playing some soccer with my buddies, when a kid came over, yelled "CUP CHECK!" and nailed me in the nuts then ran away laughing. Millions of my unborn children died in agony. All his fatass mom did was chuckle nervously and pat her satan-spawn on the head. FML

#21166299
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48091) - you deserved it (4884)

On 06/07/2014 at 5:16pm - health - by wish his dad had worn one (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I had just sat down in the lobby of my doctor's office when my phone alerted me that I had a friend request. I checked; it was from some girl from high school. I muttered to myself, "I don't want to be your friend." I then heard a gasp. She was sitting across from me. FML

Today, I realised that when I asked my girlfriend 4 months ago if was she on the pill, she thought I meant hay fever tablets. I'm going to be a father. FML

#21123315
274 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54817) - you deserved it (25521)

On 04/26/2014 at 8:28am - intimacy - by Sniffles (man) - Ireland

Today, I bought my niece a plush My Little Pony figure for her birthday. Only after she unwrapped it did I realize that it was meant to be a sex toy for grown men. FML

#21123212
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40475) - you deserved it (16929)

On 04/26/2014 at 1:57am - kids - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, after years of marriage and my lazy husband letting himself go, I can now finish a bottle of wine and still be sober. This means I've built immunity to the last thing that can make me want to have sex with him. FML

#21119490
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49104) - you deserved it (13018)

On 04/21/2014 at 11:00pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend's parents' parrot won't stop imitating my sex moans, and keeps doing it whenever I speak. FML

#21119041
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52183) - you deserved it (14608)

On 04/21/2014 at 2:42pm - intimacy - by sexual parrot -

Today, my drug addict of a roommate convinced herself my red kitten was Pennywise the clown in disguise waiting to kill her, and hit him over the head with a pan. FML

Today, at my wedding, my husband stood up to give a speech. It started out beautiful, until he told everyone how he started to fall in love with me after I blew him on our first date. FML

#21118892
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53995) - you deserved it (13401)

On 04/21/2014 at 11:43am - intimacy - by Sue Ellen (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Xmas illustrated FML
  • Here we go, final lap before Christmas is finally upon us. Although, you could say we've been subjected to quite a few strains of Christmas already. The decorations are up since mid-August, and certain family…

Friday 19 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: