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Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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beehardxcore

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beehardxcore
  • Town/Country : Aurora, USA
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Thursday 23 May 1991 (20 years)
  • Number of visits : 437
  • Number of comments : 20
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 15 posted

About beehardxcore : I'm not the nicest person you'll meet, the funniest, the prettiest, or the smartest. But I guarantee, you'll remember me. For some reason or another, I'll get stuck in your head. :]

I like:
reading, writing, photography, music, smoking, laughing, dancing, kissing, walking, hugging, smiling, being silly, being outspoken, my dogs, my rats, my husband, my son, my best friend, my not-quite-best friends, and my acquaintances.

I unlike:
snobs, smog, cow shit, sub-zero temperatures, old movies, the smell of weed, the sight/smell/sound of throw-up, and spiders.

beehardxcore's last visitors

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beehardxcore's FML badges

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beehardxcore's favorite FMLs

Today, I finally got everything in order to ask out the girl of my dreams. I bought her a gold necklace, engraved with our names, and with the date on the back. Everything was going great until she got sick and had to go home. Now I'm stuck with this necklace with the wrong date. FML

#13178719 (317)

I agree, your life sucks (7427) - you deserved it (31956)

On 09/24/2010 at 12:53am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, it was really hot in my house so I pulled my shorts down so I was just in my boxers. My family and I were watching tv and I got a spontaneous erection. When I discreetly tried to pull my shorts back up, my penis flipped out of my boxers. FML

#12792346 (215)

I agree, your life sucks (26052) - you deserved it (15687)

On 08/28/2010 at 7:52pm - intimacy - by Sicko - Sent from mobile version

Today, I came home to see my husband talking to his penis. FML

#12714961 (188)

I agree, your life sucks (21904) - you deserved it (7708)

On 08/24/2010 at 2:17am - intimacy - by chewybarseventy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I paid for my shopping at a self paying checkout. I had a lot of shopping and there was a big line. When I scanned my last item, the machine read out, "EXTRA SMALL LUBRICATED DUREX CONDOMS." FML

#12679299 (227)

I agree, your life sucks (25275) - you deserved it (16102)

On 08/22/2010 at 5:37am - intimacy - by YogiBear - United Kingdom (Nottingham)

Today, my boyfriend started to kiss my boobs. I am pregnant and started my lactation period. Now every time he looks at me he calls me milky way. FML

#12674562 (141)

I agree, your life sucks (22337) - you deserved it (3788)

On 08/22/2010 at 12:26am - intimacy - by ananomus - United States (Ohio)

Today, my incredibly self conscious girlfriend decided to get over her fears and let me see her in her underwear. She did a short strip tease, crawled on top of me and asked what I thought. I couldn't think of anything to say besides, "Your bra and panties don't match." FML

#12626936 (309)

I agree, your life sucks (6851) - you deserved it (55053)

On 08/19/2010 at 3:16pm - intimacy - by captainocd - United States (Texas)

Today, I got wii fit, wii Mario kart and wii Mario galaxy for my birthday, I don't have a wii. FML

#12622132 (172)

I agree, your life sucks (26114) - you deserved it (3142)

On 08/19/2010 at 8:02am - misc - by ktin - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I put on my new sexy lingerie to get my husband in the mood after work. When I walked into the kitchen where he was reading the newspaper, he eyed me and simply said, "Honey, please, your stomach is the biggest turnoff ever." FML

#12598629 (283)

I agree, your life sucks (38265) - you deserved it (9663)

On 08/18/2010 at 2:23am - intimacy - by ...thanks honey - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend asked for a picture of my penis, so I sent her one. Then later on, she asked for one when I was hard, the first one I sent I was hard. FML

#12595665 (211)

I agree, your life sucks (24571) - you deserved it (12035)

On 08/18/2010 at 12:09am - intimacy - by Photagrapher - Sent from mobile version

Today, my brother's girlfriend and my girlfriend went out shopping. My brother's girlfriend bought a pair of killer black heels and a box of condoms. My girlfriend bought a pair of orange Crocs and a vibrator. FML

#12408550 (228)

I agree, your life sucks (31412) - you deserved it (9821)

On 08/09/2010 at 9:24am - intimacy - by Mikey832 (man) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, I met my boyfriend's notoriously difficult mother. I had been looking forward to meeting her and making a good impression. Unfortunately, I could not greet her as her son's penis was still in my mouth. FML

#7318001 (185)

I agree, your life sucks (17451) - you deserved it (8285)

On 01/13/2010 at 11:42am - intimacy - by pleasedtomeetyou (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have sex. He tried to put it in unerected. He was serious. FML

#7103723 (159)

I agree, your life sucks (12481) - you deserved it (2030)

On 01/02/2010 at 12:22pm - intimacy - by xxxzzzooo (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, a woman pushed me at the bar and told me how much she's always hated me. She was my grade five teacher. FML

I agree, your life sucks (20328) - you deserved it (2172)

On 12/18/2009 at 3:44pm - misc - by flurina (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, after having a shower, I walked back into my room butt naked. As I looked up I saw the window cleaner staring right at me. I looked. He looked. And without thinking I dropped straight to the floor to hid myself, then realized my naked butt was still staring right at him. FML

I agree, your life sucks (9190) - you deserved it (3833)

On 12/10/2009 at 2:51pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire)

Today, I went to Walmart with my girlfriend. We bought the usual, food, Advil and condoms. While I waited in line, she went to grab everything. When she came back, I looked in the cart and saw no condoms. I asked her why she didn't get any. She replied "They ran out of smalls." Everyone laughed. FML

#6553131 (180)

I agree, your life sucks (35969) - you deserved it (5756)

On 12/01/2009 at 4:11pm - misc - by xXxJoe16xXx - United States (Massachusetts)