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beef_weezle

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beef_weezle

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  • Number of visits : 1437
  • Number of comments : 10
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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Visits<b>Justinr017</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 1:42pm<b>mgrazi99</b> - the 04/05/2014 at 6:15pm<b>mrmcmuffins</b> - the 04/05/2014 at 1:18pm

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beef_weezle's favorite FMLs

Today, I heard crashing noises coming from my dining room. I got up to see what it was; my asshat cat was flinging himself at my chandelier. He'd figured out how to grab the ceiling fan from the other room, build momentum, and launch into my expensive chandelier. Hooray. FML

#20929956
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45118) - you deserved it (4774)

On 10/22/2013 at 5:12am - animals - by IamAflyingCat - United States

Today, my son came home for the fifth time saying he didn't get the job, wondering what he did wrong. I looked at his resumé; under special skills was, "Keeping it real." Apparently he saw it in a movie and thought it would work. FML

#20928390
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40075) - you deserved it (4943)

On 10/21/2013 at 12:18am - kids - by Wheredigowrong - United States (Iowa)

Today, I went on a first date. He left me standing at a bus stop while he took a dump in some bushes. FML

#20922179
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47778) - you deserved it (4331)

On 10/15/2013 at 11:10pm - love - by highlydisgusted - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was talking dirty to my long-distance lover while touching myself, when a cockroach fell from my ceiling and landed on the hand I was molesting myself with. FML

#20915065
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48189) - you deserved it (16233)

On 10/10/2013 at 11:40am - intimacy - by DisgustinglyFrustrated - Argentina (Santa Fe)

Today, I dreamt that I beat someone up for using Comic Sans in a project. Now I can't look at him without being irrationally angry. FML

#20914246
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32556) - you deserved it (6334)

On 10/09/2013 at 7:15pm - work - by Ellie (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I accidentally texted a picture of my cock to my dad. FML

#20907559
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25692) - you deserved it (77840)

On 10/04/2013 at 7:36pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend and I went to one of the United States Mints since he enjoys coins. He looked at the money and seriously said, "I have such a hard on". He did. FML

#20905869
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45074) - you deserved it (4696)

On 10/03/2013 at 11:38am - intimacy - by EconM - United States

Today, my dog figured out she can wipe her butthole on my walls after having squeezed out a turd or two. FML

#20905661
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38117) - you deserved it (3275)

On 10/03/2013 at 4:26am - animals - by hoo flung pu - United States

Today, I'm in a military academy with a strict no alcohol policy. My friends drunk call me practically every night to tell me how much fun they are having. FML

#20905471
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37067) - you deserved it (7192)

On 10/02/2013 at 11:46pm - work - by sober judge - United States (Connecticut)

Today, at work, a lady came in to have her glasses fixed. When she opened her case, an earwig crawled out. Instead of trying to kill it, she just left it and watched as it crawled over my desk and behind my computer. I later found the earwig in my hair. FML

#20899979
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41247) - you deserved it (4533)

On 09/29/2013 at 12:16am - work - by browngirl - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I found out this girl I had sex with lied to me. They weren't razor burn bumps. And I now have them. FML

#20898893
267 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56752) - you deserved it (36433)

On 09/28/2013 at 7:44am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I walked in on my roommate whacking off to clown porn. FML

#20895842
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51455) - you deserved it (6301)

On 09/25/2013 at 5:33pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, at my job as a fourth grade teacher, I realized that most of my students have far nicer and more expensive phones than I can afford. FML

#20892987
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45154) - you deserved it (3413)

On 09/23/2013 at 1:54pm - misc - by poor teacher - United States (Utah)

Today, I found a pamphlet for alcohol counseling on my front door today. I think it was from the guys who pick up my recycling. FML

#20886188
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35563) - you deserved it (10581)

On 09/18/2013 at 2:19am - health - by I get the hint -

Today, I realized I pay $160/month to get two texts a day. One from my bank telling me how much I have, one for my credit card telling me how much I owe. FML



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