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beef_weezle

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beef_weezle

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  • Number of visits : 1338
  • Number of comments : 10
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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Visits<b>Justinr017</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 1:42pm<b>mgrazi99</b> - the 04/05/2014 at 6:15pm<b>mrmcmuffins</b> - the 04/05/2014 at 1:18pm

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beef_weezle's favorite FMLs

Today, while driving home, I looked in the rear-view mirror and saw that my three-year-old daughter had managed to get out of her seat and had crawled to the back window. I pulled over and strapped her in again. Five minutes later she was back at the window. FML

#20967131
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38345) - you deserved it (5378)

On 11/22/2013 at 6:14pm - kids - by houdinette (woman) - Sweden (Ostergotlands Lan)

Today, I had to explain to my pregnant friend that her plan to get drunk and get a tattoo needed to wait at least 8 months. She then went out for a smoke to calm down. FML

#20966742
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49695) - you deserved it (3753)

On 11/22/2013 at 9:49am - health - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I woke up from a drunken one-night-stand. The person I slept with turned out to be heavily pregnant. She tried to convince me that I am the father and that I passed out for 7 months. FML

Today, my cat has figured out that while I'm good at sleeping through her nagging in the early morning hours, I will unfailingly wake up for my baby. FML

Today, my debate partner repeatedly said "You mad, bro?" to the opposing team in our college debate class. That debate was worth a considerable portion of our grade. FML

#20959913
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40526) - you deserved it (2887)

On 11/16/2013 at 3:18pm - misc - by gonnafail (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, while my hometown mayor becomes a world-famous crackhead and douche-bag, here in the UK it has come to this: when people hear my accent and ask me if I'm American, it's less embarrassing just to say, "Yeah", rather than admit I'm Canadian. FML

#20958357
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37301) - you deserved it (6320)

On 11/15/2013 at 2:05am - misc - by unproud (man) - United Kingdom (Luton)

Today, I was watching TV when my sister-in-law called me, laughing. It turns out my brother got his head stuck between the bars on the stairs. Again. My brother is 29. FML

#20957769
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36722) - you deserved it (2684)

On 11/14/2013 at 5:44pm - misc - by AshlynnPrime - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I watched as my grandma beat the shit out of my dad at the zoo. FML

#20948659
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45017) - you deserved it (4109)

On 11/07/2013 at 12:52am - misc - by Grandson - United States (California)

Today, I walked under a tree and heard birds chirping from above. I stopped and looked up, only to catch a face full of bird shit. FML

#20947706
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43023) - you deserved it (8722)

On 11/06/2013 at 1:08pm - animals - by lbg2msf (man) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I rushed to a dentist's appointment. Once in the chair, I apologized for not having had the time to brush my teeth beforehand. He responded with, "Ah that's alright, I just took a piss and forgot to wash my hands." FML

#20937985
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45748) - you deserved it (12414)

On 10/29/2013 at 2:57pm - health - by Anonymous - Zimbabwe

Today, I overcame my stage fright and got up in front of a café audience with my acoustic guitar to sing a few of my songs. Some asshat kept yelling stuff like "NEEDS MORE COWBELL!" and "FREEBIRD!", which made me lose my nerve and flee. FML

#20937310
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37680) - you deserved it (4059)

On 10/28/2013 at 9:57pm - misc - by NickDrakeFan (man) - United States

Today, my best friend went in for her scheduled mammogram, and I sent her a text saying, "How're your boobies?" It was only after I sent it that I realized I'd sent it to my history professor. FML

#20930198
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38716) - you deserved it (11496)

On 10/22/2013 at 12:47pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I heard crashing noises coming from my dining room. I got up to see what it was; my asshat cat was flinging himself at my chandelier. He'd figured out how to grab the ceiling fan from the other room, build momentum, and launch into my expensive chandelier. Hooray. FML

#20929956
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45084) - you deserved it (4772)

On 10/22/2013 at 5:12am - animals - by IamAflyingCat - United States

Today, my son came home for the fifth time saying he didn't get the job, wondering what he did wrong. I looked at his resumé; under special skills was, "Keeping it real." Apparently he saw it in a movie and thought it would work. FML

#20928390
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40045) - you deserved it (4938)

On 10/21/2013 at 12:18am - kids - by Wheredigowrong - United States (Iowa)



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