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beef_weezle

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beef_weezle

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 2514
  • Number of comments : 10
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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beef_weezle's page activity

Visits<b>mgrazi99</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 11:38pm<b>ibeliebvatic</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 2:49pm<b>Justinr017</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 1:42pm<b>mrmcmuffins</b> - the 04/05/2014 at 1:18pm

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The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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beef_weezle's favorite FMLs

Today, I took a 40 minute bus ride home from work. The first 20 minutes were spent listening to the drunk man behind me moan uncontrollably and belch. The last 20 minutes were spent trying to ignore the vomit he left on my back as he got up to leave. FML

#16067039
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35183) - you deserved it (3418)

On 05/06/2011 at 11:47am - misc - by eewww (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my house was robbed while I sat helplessly on the toilet with violent diarrhoea. I could hear them laughing hysterically. FML

#15922476
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49421) - you deserved it (5798)

On 04/25/2011 at 5:39pm - misc - by Mike -

Today, my cat took a shit in my toaster. FML

#15852262
288 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51321) - you deserved it (8223)

On 04/19/2011 at 10:21pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, the maintenance man 'fixed' a leak in my apartment by flooding the place. FML

#15744069
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23677) - you deserved it (2342)

On 04/11/2011 at 7:37pm - misc - by sproket -

Today, I found out that my mom and dad got a divorce. They didn't tell me, they just changed their relationship status on Facebook. FML

#15635122
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45019) - you deserved it (3294)

On 04/04/2011 at 12:23pm - love - by carolinagirl (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, while discussing having sex for the first time with my boyfriend, I asked what method of birth control we should use. He replied, "Anal." FML

#15627116
290 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47020) - you deserved it (13928)

On 04/03/2011 at 9:46pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I got back from vacation and walked in on my boyfriend and my brother in my bed. FML

#15617038
352 comments

I agree, your life sucks (109853) - you deserved it (7726)

On 04/03/2011 at 4:06am - intimacy - by Now Single - Reserved

Today, on the way home from the dog groomer, my great Dane had a bout of diarrhea in the car. I slammed on the brakes and my other freshly shampooed dog slid off the seat and into the pile of crap. FML

#15510596
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28682) - you deserved it (9902)

On 03/27/2011 at 6:06am - animals - by StinkyDogs (man) - United States (California)

Today, my family came back from holiday to discover that my little sister had messed with the cat flap before we left. Several stray cats were able to come in, but were unable to get out, and left shit in various areas around the house. FML

#15500028
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29399) - you deserved it (3935)

On 03/26/2011 at 3:27pm - animals - by cathouse (woman) - United Kingdom (North Down)

Today, I was playing with my dog. His bouncy ball rolled under the couch, and I got on my hands and knees to get it. He decided it would be a good chance to hump the shit out of me. FML

#15448080
263 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34671) - you deserved it (10834)

On 03/23/2011 at 12:21pm - animals - by Username - United States (Florida)

Today, in an attempt to get my son to stop playing Call of Duty, I threw his Xbox controller out the window. He was so desperate, he followed it. His bedroom is on the second floor. My son has 3 broken ribs, and no future. FML

#15405912
489 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34863) - you deserved it (48796)

On 03/20/2011 at 9:25pm - kids - by failureparent (man) - United States (California)

Today, my parents thought it would be appropriate to tell my girlfriend that I used to stick my penis in a sock puppet and talk to it when I was younger. FML

#15401904
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46865) - you deserved it (9789)

On 03/20/2011 at 4:31pm - intimacy - by HotAsTits (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I showed my colleagues how I could switch on my webcam at home from the office. That's how we all found out my wife is cheating on me. FML

#15309756
283 comments

I agree, your life sucks (109901) - you deserved it (6573) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/14/2011 at 5:26pm - love - by Albert06 - France

Today, I learned that if I don't clean out the litter box everyday, my cat will resort to shitting in the laundry basket. FML

#15188844
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12069) - you deserved it (31894)

On 03/03/2011 at 7:45pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, my girlfriend thought it would be sexy to stick her finger up my ass during sex. I screamed like a little girl and barely managed to finish. Afterward, she said, 'Now you know how it feels.' FML

#15165919
340 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17713) - you deserved it (83458)

On 03/01/2011 at 6:51pm - intimacy - by Anon. (man) - United States (Washington)



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