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beef_weezle

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beef_weezle

0Fucked!

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  • Number of visits : 3288
  • Number of comments : 11
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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beef_weezle's favorite FMLs

Today, my eleven year old sister came in, and bitched to me and my boyfriend about how she was going to tell my mom about the used condom she found. My boyfriend punched her in the face. FML

#18022495
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55595) - you deserved it (17648)

On 10/19/2011 at 10:37am - intimacy - by lolilovemyboyfriend (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, while sitting on the toilet, my phone pocket dialed my boss's cell. He was in the next stall. He answered. FML

#18010067
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31945) - you deserved it (3782)

On 10/17/2011 at 9:14pm - work - by number2 - United States

Today, I had to escort some dumbass teenager from Home Depot after I found him masturbating in one of the model washrooms. FML

#17982026
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40769) - you deserved it (3187)

On 10/14/2011 at 12:30pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Reserved

Today, I have been pissing blood for 2 hours, ever since some douche in a Nixon mask ran up and slugged me in the kidney. FML

#17981728
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34641) - you deserved it (2269)

On 10/14/2011 at 11:09am - health - by Nixontones - United States (Illinois)

Today, my sister asked me to explain where to put a tampon. I realized near the end of the conversation that she believed the urine, feces, and blood all came from the same orifice. This began a long discussion during which I was forced to tell her not to put the tampon in her rectum. FML

#17933094
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32209) - you deserved it (2649)

On 10/08/2011 at 2:48am - health - by ohgawd (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, at work, my boss went to the single-stall bathroom on our floor. The next thing I know, I'm on suspension pending review because some asshole left an upper-decker in the toilet. Since I'm the office prankster, all suspicion is now on me. I've been framed by my own colleagues. FML

#17888360
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19895) - you deserved it (13652)

On 10/02/2011 at 4:35pm - work - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)

Today, while at work in the service department of a car dealership, I sat in the driver seat of an old man's car to get the mileage. He'd just pissed in the seat. FML

#17855277
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26564) - you deserved it (2279)

On 09/28/2011 at 12:30pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I pulled one of my favorite hoodies out of my closet, and immediately noticed several large stains on it. Apparently, my dad had managed to open a hole in the roof and couldn't be bothered to patch it, so a squirrel got in and used my closet as a litter box. FML

#17778916
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24399) - you deserved it (2023)

On 09/19/2011 at 6:16am - animals - by gs - United States (New York)

Today, my daughter spoke her first words. Her dad had been practicing with her for weeks in secret. She crawled to me and said, "I poop." FML

#17761729
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27818) - you deserved it (4408)

On 09/17/2011 at 12:36am - kids - by applesmama - United States (Tennessee)

Today, in a desperate bid to avoid going to the doctor, my young son ran into and hid inside a cactus garden. I had to drag him out. FML

#17758284
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24091) - you deserved it (2677)

On 09/16/2011 at 3:26pm - kids - by Chandler - United States

Today, the girl I've been dating, and starting to fall in love with, walked out of the bathroom claiming we were going to be parents. I jumped off of the couch in disbelief, yelling, "Really?" She replied, "Really. I just gave birth to a huge dump baby." FML

#17718767
354 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39624) - you deserved it (7128)

On 09/11/2011 at 11:13am - misc - by CaseyFpC85 - United States (Florida)

Today, I realized too late that a picture in my school Powerpoint presentation of thousands of New Zealand sheep, was actually a picture of thousands of naked men in a field. FML

#17709255
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16379) - you deserved it (33524)

On 09/10/2011 at 3:11am - misc - by FullOfNick (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I have been released from jail because my idiot friends decided to get me a surprise hooker for my birthday. Turns out "Candy" was actually an undercover cop. My friends ditched me. I was the only one arrested. FML

Today, I was in my car with my window down at a red light. Outside, a sweet old lady was sitting on a bench with her dog sleeping next to her. I yelled out the window to tell her how cute her dog was. She replied, "He's dead" and cried. FML

#17639709
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33909) - you deserved it (4493)

On 09/01/2011 at 10:29pm - animals - by macattack (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my wife tried to refill the windshield wiper fluid on her own. However, she poured it where the oil goes. Now the car is having major issues. Last week I lost my job, and I have no idea how much this is going to cost to fix. FML

#17619423
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31288) - you deserved it (3381)

On 08/30/2011 at 5:35am - money - by BadTime (man) - United States (Colorado)



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