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beef_weezle

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beef_weezle

0Fucked!

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  • Number of visits : 3092
  • Number of comments : 10
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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beef_weezle's favorite FMLs

Today, while stuck in traffic on the highway, my 5 year old in the back seat asked me why the man in the car next to us was pulling on the other man's "peepee". FML

#17361677
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45776) - you deserved it (2940)

On 08/04/2011 at 12:04am - intimacy - by whatnot - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while stuck in traffic on the highway, my 5 year old in the back seat asked me why the man in the car next to us was pulling on the other man's "peepee". FML

#17361677
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45776) - you deserved it (2940)

On 08/04/2011 at 12:04am - intimacy - by whatnot - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my son drew in Sharpie all over the wall, so I spanked him as punishment. When my boss came over for dinner, my son shouted, "Daddy made me take my punishment in the butt." FML

#17338982
337 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45241) - you deserved it (14958)

On 08/02/2011 at 12:58am - kids - by ohcrap - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was in a cinema watching a movie to review in the local paper. Suddenly, the guy behind me leans in and starts whispering and hissing "Do it... Do... It. DO IT" for the rest of the movie. I'm still not sure what he wanted me to do, but he did smell of vomit and had a tea-cosy on his head. FML

#17338822
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23472) - you deserved it (2433)

On 08/02/2011 at 12:43am - work - by Username - Australia

Today, I found out that when you kick another man in the snowglobes and he smiles at you, there's something creepily wrong. FML

#17292941
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33227) - you deserved it (6677)

On 07/29/2011 at 12:20am - intimacy - by FML (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my entire family, myself included, has been turned into a collective diarrhea fountain after going out to eat. We only have one bathroom. FML

#17288332
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32832) - you deserved it (2767)

On 07/28/2011 at 4:37pm - health - by shroooms (man) - Slovenia (Bohinj)

Today, I went shopping with my grandma. She went to the bathroom and was gone for a long while. I jokingly asked, "What happened, you fall in?" She did. She had shit all over the back of her shirt. FML

#17260985
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33968) - you deserved it (6488)

On 07/25/2011 at 11:35pm - misc - by Ima_Moronski - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I discovered that when you buy ropes, duct tapes, a shovel, razor blades, a fire poker, and a carton of cigs, the police can turn up and search your house for 'prisoners'. Those items were actually coincidental. FML

#17182524
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36270) - you deserved it (7404)

On 07/19/2011 at 9:51pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I learned that when you piss on a hornets' nest from a window, the hornets will go after the source of the stream. It can also cause you to fall through your friend's second story window. FML

#17176803
247 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9527) - you deserved it (69855)

On 07/19/2011 at 12:41pm - misc - by freakfreak12345 - United States (Maine)

Today, I caught a cab to take me to a hospital appointment. The driver turned around and told me I was in the Cash Cab. I got really excited and screamed. That is, until she laughed and said, "Just kidding. I always wanted to do that to someone." FML

#17128085
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35184) - you deserved it (8449)

On 07/15/2011 at 10:06pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, while babysitting a five year old, I found a cartoon called Metalocalypse for him to watch while I made dinner. I didn't realize it was an "adult" cartoon until afterwards. He watched a whole episode about a clown with a cocaine problem. FML

#17067732
425 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14108) - you deserved it (53887)

On 07/11/2011 at 3:21pm - kids - by dummy (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, my girlfriend who was planning on waiting until marriage for sex decided to have sex with me. It's been 4 hours and she hasn't stopped crying, praying and calling me the devil's temptation. FML

#16998038
361 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53696) - you deserved it (16794)

On 07/06/2011 at 7:26am - intimacy - by devilboy - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I went to visit my great grandma. I saw that her dog had this red fluid on his ear, so I asked my grandma about it. She said she put red finger nail-polish in his ear so she could tell the difference between 'all' of her dogs. She only has one dog. FML

#16967772
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29438) - you deserved it (2327)

On 07/04/2011 at 12:13am - animals - by emegemerald - United States

Today, I was using the restroom when a little girl tried to open my stall. It was locked, so she slid under the door and tried to have a conversation with me while I was pooping. FML

#16767931
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42120) - you deserved it (3580)

On 06/20/2011 at 6:42pm - misc - by shyshy96679 - United States

Today, I went from a party where both of my girlfriends decided to show, to a hospital bed with no girlfriends and a painful left testicle. FML

#16689937
507 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16792) - you deserved it (227207)

On 06/16/2011 at 2:20am - intimacy - by crushed dreams - United States



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