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beef_weezle

Offline (the 07/29/2015 at 4:51am) | Search for a member

beef_weezle

0Fucked!

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  • Number of visits : 3216
  • Number of comments : 10
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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beef_weezle's page activity

Visits<b>mgrazi99</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 11:38pm<b>ibeliebvatic</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 2:49pm<b>Justinr017</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 1:42pm<b>mrmcmuffins</b> - the 04/05/2014 at 1:18pm

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You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

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You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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beef_weezle's favorite FMLs

Today, I learned the hard way that when a pierced, tattooed, and otherwise extremely stereotypical biker chick jokingly threatens to find you and beat you up if you don't call her back after a one-night stand, she's not actually joking. FML

#17531904
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13414) - you deserved it (44233)

On 08/20/2011 at 8:08pm - intimacy - by owmyhead (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, while riding in the car with my mother, we got into an argument, at which point she pulled the vehicle over, took the key out of the ignition and used it to turn off the passenger airbag. She then continued driving in silence. FML

#17526290
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35710) - you deserved it (4721)

On 08/20/2011 at 2:23am - misc - by W1D0 - United States (Illinois)

Today, two Jehovah's Witnesses rang my doorbell for the 10th time. This time they asked me whether I knew Faith's greatest enemy. I replied, "Basic reasoning?" A copy of The Watchtower can really hurt when it hits you in the eye. FML

#17468167
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36308) - you deserved it (9877)

On 08/14/2011 at 7:20am - misc - by Goaway (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I woke up with a foul stench forcing its way up my nostrils. It turns out our septic tank broke, and is now leaking into our backyard, and sadly, our basement. I live in the basement. FML

#17460789
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28089) - you deserved it (2495)

On 08/13/2011 at 3:04pm - misc - by thatguythere858 (man) - United States (Kansas)

Today, my girlfriend of 4 years broke up with me. She took everything, including the kidney I gave her a year ago. FML

#17417239
421 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58430) - you deserved it (5851)

On 08/09/2011 at 10:50am - love - by aliixmaee - United States

Today, I held an open house. Not wanting anything to be stolen I loaded up all valuables in my car (money, prescriptions, computer, iPod, etc) and went out. My car got stolen. Nobody came to the open house. FML

#17416738
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34916) - you deserved it (11641)

On 08/09/2011 at 8:55am - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, at work in a liquor store, a man came in to demand a refund because after he "drank the whole bottle of Jack" he "couldn't get it up" for his wife. He thought that alcohol was supposed to be an aphrodisiac, and blamed me personally for his "whiskey dick". FML

#17415009
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33939) - you deserved it (2924)

On 08/09/2011 at 2:24am - intimacy - by OyGeeze28 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, while zooming down the interstate, I had to tell my husband to put his penis away. FML

#17400006
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26894) - you deserved it (6082)

On 08/07/2011 at 8:02pm - intimacy - by Wife - United States

Today, my roommate demanded that I dance naked for him as a birthday present. When I declined, he offered to pay me. When I declined again, he stormed off to pout in his room and played really loud depressing music. We're both guys and I have 11 months left on my lease with him. FML

#17373472
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40640) - you deserved it (3258)

On 08/05/2011 at 12:46am - intimacy - by Creeped_out_n_stuck (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, while stuck in traffic on the highway, my 5 year old in the back seat asked me why the man in the car next to us was pulling on the other man's "peepee". FML

#17361677
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45800) - you deserved it (2943)

On 08/04/2011 at 12:04am - intimacy - by whatnot - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while stuck in traffic on the highway, my 5 year old in the back seat asked me why the man in the car next to us was pulling on the other man's "peepee". FML

#17361677
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45800) - you deserved it (2943)

On 08/04/2011 at 12:04am - intimacy - by whatnot - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while stuck in traffic on the highway, my 5 year old in the back seat asked me why the man in the car next to us was pulling on the other man's "peepee". FML

#17361677
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45800) - you deserved it (2943)

On 08/04/2011 at 12:04am - intimacy - by whatnot - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my son drew in Sharpie all over the wall, so I spanked him as punishment. When my boss came over for dinner, my son shouted, "Daddy made me take my punishment in the butt." FML

#17338982
337 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45267) - you deserved it (14961)

On 08/02/2011 at 12:58am - kids - by ohcrap - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was in a cinema watching a movie to review in the local paper. Suddenly, the guy behind me leans in and starts whispering and hissing "Do it... Do... It. DO IT" for the rest of the movie. I'm still not sure what he wanted me to do, but he did smell of vomit and had a tea-cosy on his head. FML

#17338822
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23491) - you deserved it (2433)

On 08/02/2011 at 12:43am - work - by Username - Australia

Today, I found out that when you kick another man in the snowglobes and he smiles at you, there's something creepily wrong. FML

#17292941
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33251) - you deserved it (6678)

On 07/29/2011 at 12:20am - intimacy - by FML (man) - United States (Indiana)



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