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beef_weezle

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beef_weezle

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  • Number of visits : 3322
  • Number of comments : 11
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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beef_weezle's page activity

Visits<b>mgrazi99</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 11:38pm<b>ibeliebvatic</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 2:49pm<b>Justinr017</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 1:42pm<b>mrmcmuffins</b> - the 04/05/2014 at 1:18pm

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beef_weezle's favorite FMLs

Today, frustrated with my very energetic kids, I told them that if they dug a hole deep enough in the backyard, they'd find China. What they really found was the previous owner's dog. FML

#21419303
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28482) - you deserved it (7125)

On 06/01/2015 at 6:45pm - kids - by pheonixxe (woman) - United States (Wyoming)

Today, I checked my son's browser history, as he's been acting strangely around his computer recently. I found several bizarre Google searches, including but not limited to: "unicorn dick-farts", "sharting kittens", and "can you get AIDS from Asians?" What the fuck is wrong with him? FML

#21414033
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28342) - you deserved it (4668)

On 05/22/2015 at 2:17pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Havering)

Today, I bought an expensive video game and decided to show it off and post a photo of it on Instagram. When I got home to play it, it rejected my activation key. I then realised it was showing in the Instagram post. FML

#21411390
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12880) - you deserved it (44034)

On 05/17/2015 at 9:09am - misc - by PISSED OFF - Australia

Today, I had to pick my brother up from work because he broke down crying. I arrived to find that apparently, you can get so stoned that serving a pregnant woman at a fast food joint moves you to tears over the miracle of life. FML

#21409953
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31065) - you deserved it (2439)

On 05/14/2015 at 10:23am - misc - by sistertaxi - Australia

Today, I went to bring my 92-year-old neighbor some cake we had just made. When I walked in, she was wearing pants. That's it. I stared blinking in shock for a few seconds before running away, yelling, "So sorry. I brought you cake. Real tired. Gonna sleep now. Bye." FML

#21409137
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24891) - you deserved it (3325)

On 05/12/2015 at 8:33pm - misc - by Nikki (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my rental car had an automatic rear hatch. That sounded helpful until I used it and it emptied $60 in just-purchased groceries for the week on the parking lot pavement. The jars and jugs weren't ready for the leap. FML

#21408338
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24230) - you deserved it (3983)

On 05/11/2015 at 10:37am - money - by technodont - United States

Today, once again, I explained that yes, I'm Russian. No, I'm not a communist. No, I don't pray to a picture of Putin riding a bear. And no, I don't have any vodka on me. FML

#21408243
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30709) - you deserved it (3031)

On 05/11/2015 at 2:59am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, at a party I got blind drunk and I gave a guy a blowjob for the first time. I'm a 100% heterosexual male. FML

#21406764
299 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20663) - you deserved it (38076)

On 05/08/2015 at 12:59pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - India (Delhi)

Today, I thought it would be funny to fart next to my brother in the car. Apparently, his carsickness is exacerbated by strong smells. I now know what it feels like to have lap full of vomit. FML

#21406695
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13762) - you deserved it (36086)

On 05/08/2015 at 9:51am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my 6-year-old daughter barged into the bathroom while I was peeing, inspected the toilet and said, "You're well hydrated, good job." FML

#21405462
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29383) - you deserved it (3710)

On 05/06/2015 at 1:22am - kids - by seethroughpee - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I asked the man of my dreams out on a date. His response: "I'd rather eat my own balls." FML

#21399850
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33783) - you deserved it (3410)

On 04/26/2015 at 4:19am - love - by fuck you (woman) - United Kingdom (Sheffield)

Today, while mowing my backyard, I carelessly ran over a fire ant hill. Thousands of tiny stinging insects blowing towards you while you're wearing shorts and a t-shirt is definitely not fun. FML

#21395171
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26844) - you deserved it (5109)

On 04/17/2015 at 11:27am - health - by Mitchellbassists (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, a little girl from my Sunday School class approached me and told me she had a stomach ache. She seemed very upset and her face was discolored so I took her to the nurse. While we were walking out the door, I looked down and saw a half-eaten crayon on the floor. That'll do it. FML

#21392424
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24194) - you deserved it (1889)

On 04/12/2015 at 3:49pm - health - by drewcaver - United States (Texas)

Today, I got trapped in my building's elevator for over an hour, with my dog who I had been rushing outside with because he had explosive diarrhea. FML

#21391716
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35014) - you deserved it (2794)

On 04/11/2015 at 8:12am - animals - by Crappy - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out that my friend's family has been using red paper to help his little brother with his potty training. "Aim for the red!" they would say to him. I guess today was a bad day to wear red pants. FML

#21381127
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27791) - you deserved it (2400)

On 03/25/2015 at 2:26am - kids - by ILoveLamps (man) - Canada (Alberta)



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