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beef_weezle

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beef_weezle

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  • Number of visits : 1147
  • Number of comments : 10
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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Visits<b>Justinr017</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 1:42pm<b>mgrazi99</b> - the 04/05/2014 at 6:15pm<b>mrmcmuffins</b> - the 04/05/2014 at 1:18pm

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beef_weezle's favorite FMLs

Today, I came out to my father. He seemed to be totally okay with it, as long as I'm the "man" in my relationships. FML

#18825436
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27782) - you deserved it (8480)

On 01/16/2012 at 2:55pm - love - by anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, after having a naked wrestle with my boyfriend, I discovered he'd left a skidmark on my stomach. FML

#18822523
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34750) - you deserved it (14226)

On 01/16/2012 at 6:09am - love - by Crashburn (woman) - United Kingdom (Sheffield)

Today, I started a new medication, not paying much notice to the one side effect: "unusual vaginal secretions". They're unusual alright, they glued my underwear to my skin. FML

#18812557
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32934) - you deserved it (3747)

On 01/15/2012 at 4:00am - intimacy - by involuntary waxing - Canada (Alberta)

Today, during swimming in PE, I kept noticing a stinging feeling on my scrotum. Every time I jumped into the water I would feel a sharp stab. After the full hour of hell, I went to the bathroom and looked in my new trunks. The designer had left their sewing needle in the crotch netting. FML

#18809719
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37584) - you deserved it (4267)

On 01/14/2012 at 10:07pm - health - by CantPublish - United States

Today, I've had chairs thrown at me, kicks have hit me in the nuts and I've heard "I'm gonna fucking kill you, bitch" several times. I work at a kindergarten. And this is a good day compared to what I'm used to. FML

#18783134
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38082) - you deserved it (3342)

On 01/12/2012 at 6:54am - kids - by Anonymous - Sweden

Today, I was cooking with super hot ghost peppers. The package said "After handling them not to touch your eyes, nose or pets". They should've added "penis" to that list. FML

#18729935
357 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11818) - you deserved it (54864)

On 01/06/2012 at 9:22pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my mother thought it would be a good idea to tell me that I was conceived on an airplane toilet. FML

#18728247
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30130) - you deserved it (2631)

On 01/06/2012 at 6:16pm - intimacy - by Gemma - United Kingdom (Lancashire)

Today, after rocking my one-year old daughter for nearly two hours, she finally fell asleep. As I went to leave her room, I stubbed my toe. I now have a broken toe, a screaming child, and a wife who will be so proud that her daughter's first word is "FUCK!" FML

#18531059
175 comments

Today, I went to the movies with my friends. All throughout, some guy kept making weird sounds and breathing deeply. Midway through the movie, he got even louder. Just as I was about to snap, chunks of vomit sprayed over my chair and shoulders. FML

#18530892
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30307) - you deserved it (2097)

On 12/16/2011 at 9:06pm - misc - by anonymous (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, my cat vomited violently. I can smell it but I can't find it. FML

#18520750
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29106) - you deserved it (2983)

On 12/15/2011 at 4:49pm - animals - by Anonymous - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I took a poop that was three states of matter. Solid, liquid, and gas. FML

#18507550
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22646) - you deserved it (7188)

On 12/13/2011 at 10:45pm - health - by brownunderwear - United States (Washington)

Today, I took a poop that was three states of matter. Solid, liquid, and gas. FML

#18507550
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22646) - you deserved it (7188)

On 12/13/2011 at 10:45pm - health - by brownunderwear - United States (Washington)

Today, I saw my neighbor's Christmas tree they had put up on their porch, with decorative presents under it. Being that my neighbors hate me, I figured I would take a present to piss them off. While walking back home with the present, I opened it. Inside it read "I knew you would, douche bag." FML

#18464488
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7782) - you deserved it (70984)

On 12/08/2011 at 10:35pm - misc - by lebato97 - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I went to court to file a small claim and found myself at the end of a huge line. The moment I got to the front of the line, the fire alarm went off and we all had to leave the building. The moment I got outside, the alarm stopped and everybody rushed back in. I'm at the back of the line. FML

#18461010
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40697) - you deserved it (3317)

On 12/08/2011 at 3:41pm - money - by Dante178 (man) - United States (California)

Today, some friends and I were pulled over on our way back from a party. We'd had a few drinks, so we tried to play it cool just in case we were over the limit. The cop didn't seem to want to breathalyze us, until my really high friend in the back seat said, "These are not the droids you are looking for." FML

#18451653
282 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12954) - you deserved it (41150)

On 12/07/2011 at 9:46am - misc - by Notadrinkanddriveidiot - United States



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