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beef_weezle

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beef_weezle

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  • Number of visits : 1103
  • Number of comments : 10
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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Visits<b>Justinr017</b> - yesterday at 1:42pm<b>mgrazi99</b> - the 04/05/2014 at 6:15pm<b>mrmcmuffins</b> - the 04/05/2014 at 1:18pm

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beef_weezle's favorite FMLs

Today, my mother thought it would be a good idea to tell me that I was conceived on an airplane toilet. FML

#18728247
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26769) - you deserved it (2395)

On 01/06/2012 at 6:16pm - intimacy - by Gemma - United Kingdom (Lancashire)

Today, after rocking my one-year old daughter for nearly two hours, she finally fell asleep. As I went to leave her room, I stubbed my toe. I now have a broken toe, a screaming child, and a wife who will be so proud that her daughter's first word is "FUCK!" FML

#18531059
175 comments

Today, I went to the movies with my friends. All throughout, some guy kept making weird sounds and breathing deeply. Midway through the movie, he got even louder. Just as I was about to snap, chunks of vomit sprayed over my chair and shoulders. FML

#18530892
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29321) - you deserved it (2009)

On 12/16/2011 at 9:06pm - misc - by anonymous (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, my cat vomited violently. I can smell it but I can't find it. FML

#18520750
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29050) - you deserved it (2981)

On 12/15/2011 at 4:49pm - animals - by Anonymous - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I took a poop that was three states of matter. Solid, liquid, and gas. FML

#18507550
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21749) - you deserved it (7062)

On 12/13/2011 at 10:45pm - health - by brownunderwear - United States (Washington)

Today, I took a poop that was three states of matter. Solid, liquid, and gas. FML

#18507550
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21749) - you deserved it (7062)

On 12/13/2011 at 10:45pm - health - by brownunderwear - United States (Washington)

Today, I saw my neighbor's Christmas tree they had put up on their porch, with decorative presents under it. Being that my neighbors hate me, I figured I would take a present to piss them off. While walking back home with the present, I opened it. Inside it read "I knew you would, douche bag." FML

#18464488
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7377) - you deserved it (69253)

On 12/08/2011 at 10:35pm - misc - by lebato97 - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I went to court to file a small claim and found myself at the end of a huge line. The moment I got to the front of the line, the fire alarm went off and we all had to leave the building. The moment I got outside, the alarm stopped and everybody rushed back in. I'm at the back of the line. FML

#18461010
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39881) - you deserved it (3243)

On 12/08/2011 at 3:41pm - money - by Dante178 (man) - United States (California)

Today, some friends and I were pulled over on our way back from a party. We'd had a few drinks, so we tried to play it cool just in case we were over the limit. The cop didn't seem to want to breathalyze us, until my really high friend in the back seat said, "These are not the droids you are looking for." FML

#18451653
282 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11976) - you deserved it (39176)

On 12/07/2011 at 9:46am - misc - by Notadrinkanddriveidiot - United States

Today, I was driving my drunk best friend and his "new friend" back to his house. Halfway, this new friend started to give him head. FML

#18424038
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27704) - you deserved it (3160)

On 12/04/2011 at 12:35am - intimacy - by aninnocentonlooker - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend refered to her vagina as a meat wallet, and to my penis as small change. FML

#18417408
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27460) - you deserved it (4093)

On 12/03/2011 at 5:04am - intimacy - by trembelwick - Canada (Ontario)

Today, after telling my boyfriend I was willing to try just about anything to revive our sex life, he confessed to having a swirly fetish. FML

#18414681
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22777) - you deserved it (4184)

On 12/02/2011 at 9:06pm - intimacy - by Jess49 (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, after three days of getting stared at by my neighbour from the window, I realized that she wasn't alive anymore. FML

#18406735
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42943) - you deserved it (3215)

On 12/01/2011 at 9:02pm - health - by unknown52 - Netherlands (Overijssel)

Today, I saw Santa. He gave me the finger. FML

#18378519
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23780) - you deserved it (4982)

On 11/28/2011 at 7:44pm - misc - by moopymoplady - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my gynecologist told me that the ecosystem in my vagina is unbalanced, and that I have to do some reconstruction. Uhm what? FML

#18324369
258 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27459) - you deserved it (4359)

On 11/23/2011 at 4:36am - health - by Anonymous - United States



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