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beef_weezle

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beef_weezle

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  • Number of visits : 1200
  • Number of comments : 10
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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Visits<b>Justinr017</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 1:42pm<b>mgrazi99</b> - the 04/05/2014 at 6:15pm<b>mrmcmuffins</b> - the 04/05/2014 at 1:18pm

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You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

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beef_weezle's favorite FMLs

Today, I gave myself a hernia while farting. FML

#19152060
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21876) - you deserved it (6559)

On 02/24/2012 at 3:40am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I had to tell my 7 year old son it's not polite to jack off in public. FML

#19126066
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31669) - you deserved it (4922)

On 02/20/2012 at 8:43pm - intimacy - by Gothicbunnyx3 - United States

Today, I found out that the pool boy has been stealing from me for over a year now. The latest things that he has taken are my laptop, the cash I hide in my closet and my wife. FML

#19092869
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36723) - you deserved it (3740)

On 02/16/2012 at 11:26am - misc - by mypoolisstilldirty (man) - Australia

Today, my misanthropic malcontent of a son smashed my air freshener and turned my faulty lava lamp on in a twisted act of rebellion. The bottom of the lamp broke and got wax everywhere. My room now smells like cinnamon, with a hint of freshly embalmed corpse. FML

#19066178
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20569) - you deserved it (4145)

On 02/13/2012 at 4:31pm - kids - by Username - India

Today, while I was on the toilet, my cat managed to climb up behind me, slip and then grip itself to my bare ass. In my haste to get away from the cat, I pooped on the toilet without noticing. Until I sat back down. FML

#18966203
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24711) - you deserved it (5280)

On 02/01/2012 at 1:13am - animals - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, I had to make a doctor's appointment for my daughter. Apparently she thought it would be better to wipe herself with Clorox tough scrub disinfecting wipes than tell me she'd caught an STD. FML

#18926603
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29285) - you deserved it (3360)

On 01/27/2012 at 5:03pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, my husband thought it would be "funny" to put laxatives in the cakes for my son's 7th birthday party. Over 40 kids came to the party. FML

#18912466
243 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33197) - you deserved it (3560)

On 01/25/2012 at 11:18pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I received a package from an unknown address. Inside were doll heads and cigarette butts. FML

#18903953
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27587) - you deserved it (2145)

On 01/24/2012 at 11:51pm - misc - by JellitonOctopus - United States (California)

Today, I received a package from an unknown address. Inside were doll heads and cigarette butts. FML

#18903953
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27587) - you deserved it (2145)

On 01/24/2012 at 11:51pm - misc - by JellitonOctopus - United States (California)

Today, I came out to my father. He seemed to be totally okay with it, as long as I'm the "man" in my relationships. FML

#18825436
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27816) - you deserved it (8480)

On 01/16/2012 at 2:55pm - love - by anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, after having a naked wrestle with my boyfriend, I discovered he'd left a skidmark on my stomach. FML

#18822523
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34788) - you deserved it (14229)

On 01/16/2012 at 6:09am - love - by Crashburn (woman) - United Kingdom (Sheffield)

Today, I started a new medication, not paying much notice to the one side effect: "unusual vaginal secretions". They're unusual alright, they glued my underwear to my skin. FML

#18812557
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32968) - you deserved it (3748)

On 01/15/2012 at 4:00am - intimacy - by involuntary waxing - Canada (Alberta)

Today, during swimming in PE, I kept noticing a stinging feeling on my scrotum. Every time I jumped into the water I would feel a sharp stab. After the full hour of hell, I went to the bathroom and looked in my new trunks. The designer had left their sewing needle in the crotch netting. FML

#18809719
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37606) - you deserved it (4267)

On 01/14/2012 at 10:07pm - health - by CantPublish - United States

Today, I've had chairs thrown at me, kicks have hit me in the nuts and I've heard "I'm gonna fucking kill you, bitch" several times. I work at a kindergarten. And this is a good day compared to what I'm used to. FML

#18783134
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38120) - you deserved it (3342)

On 01/12/2012 at 6:54am - kids - by Anonymous - Sweden

Today, I was cooking with super hot ghost peppers. The package said "After handling them not to touch your eyes, nose or pets". They should've added "penis" to that list. FML

#18729935
357 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11828) - you deserved it (54896)

On 01/06/2012 at 9:22pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)



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