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beef_weezle

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beef_weezle

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  • Number of visits : 1705
  • Number of comments : 10
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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Visits<b>ibeliebvatic</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 2:49pm<b>Justinr017</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 1:42pm<b>mgrazi99</b> - the 04/05/2014 at 6:15pm<b>mrmcmuffins</b> - the 04/05/2014 at 1:18pm

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beef_weezle's favorite FMLs

Today, at work at a gas station kiosk, a man requested a carton of cigarettes. We keep our cigarettes on a high shelf. I'm short and very large chested so I have to jump in order to reach the carton. He said, "I only come here for the entertainment" and left without purchasing his cigarettes. FML

Today, my boyfriend and I decided it was time to lose our virginity. After our clothes were removed, we spent 30 minutes trying to figure out how to actually have sex, and eventually gave up. FML

#19249528
596 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23242) - you deserved it (53038)

On 03/10/2012 at 2:23am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my boyfriend and I decided it was time to lose our virginity. After our clothes were removed, we spent 30 minutes trying to figure out how to actually have sex, and eventually gave up. FML

#19249528
596 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23242) - you deserved it (53038)

On 03/10/2012 at 2:23am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I discovered that the amount of alcohol I have to drink to build up enough courage to talk to women at a bar is the exact amount of alcohol that prevents me from getting a boner. FML

#19249141
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27767) - you deserved it (7862)

On 03/10/2012 at 1:00am - intimacy - by socially awkward - United States (New York)

Today, I discovered that the amount of alcohol I have to drink to build up enough courage to talk to women at a bar is the exact amount of alcohol that prevents me from getting a boner. FML

#19249141
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27767) - you deserved it (7862)

On 03/10/2012 at 1:00am - intimacy - by socially awkward - United States (New York)

Today, I had to patiently listen as a customer nattered on and on about how incompetent I was for not stocking the movie she was looking for. It took nearly 20 minutes to get her to calm down long enough for me to explain that there is no such movie as "Hobbits With Shotguns". FML

#19246597
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25420) - you deserved it (2299)

On 03/09/2012 at 5:36pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I had to patiently listen as a customer nattered on and on about how incompetent I was for not stocking the movie she was looking for. It took nearly 20 minutes to get her to calm down long enough for me to explain that there is no such movie as "Hobbits With Shotguns". FML

#19246597
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25420) - you deserved it (2299)

On 03/09/2012 at 5:36pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, due to the powerful antibiotic I was taking for a bad infection on my knee, I had no control over my bowels and shat my pants while discussing a plumbing problem in a customers basement. FML

#19226157
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24464) - you deserved it (1810)

On 03/06/2012 at 6:53am - health - by beernuts - United States

Today, my 18-year old son decided to run his hand over our wooden fence to try and get a splinter, as he "forgot what they felt like." Last month, he stabbed himself in the arm with a sewing needle because he "forgot what an injection feels like." I raised this idiot. FML

#19159270
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32278) - you deserved it (7772)

On 02/25/2012 at 6:25am - misc - by badmom (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I tried to make a rocket, using Diet Coke and Mentos. It worked pretty well, as both the kitchen window and my chipped tooth can testify. FML

#19154802
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7271) - you deserved it (29754)

On 02/24/2012 at 4:35pm - misc - by alex (man) - United States (California)

Today, I gave myself a hernia while farting. FML

#19152060
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22000) - you deserved it (6576)

On 02/24/2012 at 3:40am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I had to tell my 7 year old son it's not polite to jack off in public. FML

#19126066
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32235) - you deserved it (4991)

On 02/20/2012 at 8:43pm - intimacy - by Gothicbunnyx3 - United States

Today, I found out that the pool boy has been stealing from me for over a year now. The latest things that he has taken are my laptop, the cash I hide in my closet and my wife. FML

#19092869
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36876) - you deserved it (3751)

On 02/16/2012 at 11:26am - misc - by mypoolisstilldirty (man) - Australia

Today, my misanthropic malcontent of a son smashed my air freshener and turned my faulty lava lamp on in a twisted act of rebellion. The bottom of the lamp broke and got wax everywhere. My room now smells like cinnamon, with a hint of freshly embalmed corpse. FML

#19066178
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20701) - you deserved it (4156)

On 02/13/2012 at 4:31pm - kids - by Username - India

Today, while I was on the toilet, my cat managed to climb up behind me, slip and then grip itself to my bare ass. In my haste to get away from the cat, I pooped on the toilet without noticing. Until I sat back down. FML

#18966203
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24777) - you deserved it (5292)

On 02/01/2012 at 1:13am - animals - by Anonymous - Canada



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