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beef_weezle

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beef_weezle

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  • Number of visits : 1444
  • Number of comments : 10
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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beef_weezle's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to patiently listen as a customer nattered on and on about how incompetent I was for not stocking the movie she was looking for. It took nearly 20 minutes to get her to calm down long enough for me to explain that there is no such movie as "Hobbits With Shotguns". FML

#19246597
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24339) - you deserved it (2206)

On 03/09/2012 at 5:36pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I had to patiently listen as a customer nattered on and on about how incompetent I was for not stocking the movie she was looking for. It took nearly 20 minutes to get her to calm down long enough for me to explain that there is no such movie as "Hobbits With Shotguns". FML

#19246597
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24339) - you deserved it (2206)

On 03/09/2012 at 5:36pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, due to the powerful antibiotic I was taking for a bad infection on my knee, I had no control over my bowels and shat my pants while discussing a plumbing problem in a customers basement. FML

#19226157
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24399) - you deserved it (1804)

On 03/06/2012 at 6:53am - health - by beernuts - United States

Today, my 18-year old son decided to run his hand over our wooden fence to try and get a splinter, as he "forgot what they felt like." Last month, he stabbed himself in the arm with a sewing needle because he "forgot what an injection feels like." I raised this idiot. FML

#19159270
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32185) - you deserved it (7765)

On 02/25/2012 at 6:25am - misc - by badmom (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I tried to make a rocket, using Diet Coke and Mentos. It worked pretty well, as both the kitchen window and my chipped tooth can testify. FML

#19154802
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6970) - you deserved it (28866)

On 02/24/2012 at 4:35pm - misc - by alex (man) - United States (California)

Today, I gave myself a hernia while farting. FML

#19152060
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21928) - you deserved it (6567)

On 02/24/2012 at 3:40am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I had to tell my 7 year old son it's not polite to jack off in public. FML

#19126066
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32155) - you deserved it (4987)

On 02/20/2012 at 8:43pm - intimacy - by Gothicbunnyx3 - United States

Today, I found out that the pool boy has been stealing from me for over a year now. The latest things that he has taken are my laptop, the cash I hide in my closet and my wife. FML

#19092869
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36801) - you deserved it (3747)

On 02/16/2012 at 11:26am - misc - by mypoolisstilldirty (man) - Australia

Today, my misanthropic malcontent of a son smashed my air freshener and turned my faulty lava lamp on in a twisted act of rebellion. The bottom of the lamp broke and got wax everywhere. My room now smells like cinnamon, with a hint of freshly embalmed corpse. FML

#19066178
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20631) - you deserved it (4153)

On 02/13/2012 at 4:31pm - kids - by Username - India

Today, while I was on the toilet, my cat managed to climb up behind me, slip and then grip itself to my bare ass. In my haste to get away from the cat, I pooped on the toilet without noticing. Until I sat back down. FML

#18966203
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24738) - you deserved it (5284)

On 02/01/2012 at 1:13am - animals - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, I had to make a doctor's appointment for my daughter. Apparently she thought it would be better to wipe herself with Clorox tough scrub disinfecting wipes than tell me she'd caught an STD. FML

#18926603
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29872) - you deserved it (3420)

On 01/27/2012 at 5:03pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, my husband thought it would be "funny" to put laxatives in the cakes for my son's 7th birthday party. Over 40 kids came to the party. FML

#18912466
243 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33288) - you deserved it (3566)

On 01/25/2012 at 11:18pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I received a package from an unknown address. Inside were doll heads and cigarette butts. FML

#18903953
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27650) - you deserved it (2149)

On 01/24/2012 at 11:51pm - misc - by JellitonOctopus - United States (California)

Today, I received a package from an unknown address. Inside were doll heads and cigarette butts. FML

#18903953
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27650) - you deserved it (2149)

On 01/24/2012 at 11:51pm - misc - by JellitonOctopus - United States (California)

Today, I came out to my father. He seemed to be totally okay with it, as long as I'm the "man" in my relationships. FML

#18825436
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27881) - you deserved it (8487)

On 01/16/2012 at 2:55pm - love - by anonymous (man) - United States (California)



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