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beef_weezle

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beef_weezle

0Fucked!

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  • Number of visits : 3090
  • Number of comments : 10
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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beef_weezle's favorite FMLs

Today, I discovered that when my professor had said "For every A there will be an F," he was deadly serious. I earned a 94% mark, which in this class is known as a D. FML

#19684129
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24355) - you deserved it (1764)

On 05/26/2012 at 3:34pm - misc - by dany - United States (Ohio)

Today, my friends switched my mom and my girlfriend's numbers in my phone. I sexted my mom. FML

#19682048
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34885) - you deserved it (9343)

On 05/26/2012 at 3:15am - intimacy - by ilovemymomma - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend and I went out on his boat. We got in the water and started to have sex when a fishing boat came by and chummed. There's nothing more romantic than bloody fish guts. FML

#19666580
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20937) - you deserved it (9929)

On 05/23/2012 at 5:38am - intimacy - by Fire0fisis (woman) - Hong Kong

Today, someone threw an open soda can at me from a car. It missed, so they circled around and threw an unopened can. That one hit. FML

#19653798
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22462) - you deserved it (1761)

On 05/20/2012 at 9:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was really sick. I had been sneezing all day and my skin had started to dry out. When my mom asked me if I needed anything, I immediately responded with "lotion and tissues," not realizing what I was suggesting. She then talked to me for 20 minutes about how "masturbation is okay." FML

#19650159
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26691) - you deserved it (3024)

On 05/20/2012 at 2:11am - intimacy - by sick and awkward - United States (Maryland)

Today, I woke up after a long night of drinking with my friends. I vaguely remembered visiting a tattoo parlour, but nothing prepared me for the sight of the words "YOLO" and "MOFO" tattooed across the fingers of my left and right hands. Now I'm officially a bandwagoning douchebag. FML

#19633207
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8964) - you deserved it (36135)

On 05/16/2012 at 5:56pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, I had to collect my daughter from the hospital. Her boyfriend was even more upset than she was, because his iPhone's screen was damaged beyond repair when the doctor pulled it out of my daughter's vagina. FML

#19631928
480 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50526) - you deserved it (4714)

On 05/16/2012 at 12:10pm - intimacy - by smart move there (woman) - Ireland (Kildare)

Today, my fiancée called our engagement off, because apparently she's actually a complete idiot who will believe anything that a slimy con artist tells her. In this case, a "psychic" who mumbled some shit about me having "a dark aura." FML

#19628029
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28609) - you deserved it (3425)

On 05/15/2012 at 4:56pm - love - by waste of effort (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I brought my 90-year-old grandfather into school for a project that required to bring in "a first-hand account" of the Great Depression. He started off by telling the class how in his day, they "threw rocks at black people." FML

#19608717
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27544) - you deserved it (3916)

On 05/11/2012 at 7:52pm - misc - by Class (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I found out that my husband is the biological father of my baby sister. FML

#19603084
414 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59023) - you deserved it (3213)

On 05/10/2012 at 4:17pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I had to excuse myself from the classroom so I could have a quick wank. This was because I somehow got extremely horny during a lesson on frog reproduction. FML

#19598772
278 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11886) - you deserved it (37877)

On 05/09/2012 at 6:19pm - intimacy - by polimeros (man) - Mexico (Queretaro de Arteaga)

Today, I asked my boyfriend if he would still love me if I became a vegetable. His response: "Well, the sex wouldn't be any different." FML

#19591291
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17397) - you deserved it (31378)

On 05/08/2012 at 7:35am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I had a huge yard sale. Since I live in a good neighborhood, I decided to leave the stuff out tonight rather than pack it all in for only a few hours. The news didn't say anything about the impending severe thunderstorm. FML

#19580691
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7651) - you deserved it (30608)

On 05/06/2012 at 3:38am - misc - by penguindude82 - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out my boyfriend gave me a surprise birthday present: herpes. FML

#19556007
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39697) - you deserved it (6878)

On 04/30/2012 at 11:01pm - intimacy - by lowlife123 (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I shot a paintball gun at a bees' nest. The bees flew through my neighbors' windows and, for lack of a better word, slaughtered them. An ambulance was called, and I feel like a total dick. FML

#19554232
268 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8503) - you deserved it (55159)

On 04/30/2012 at 5:34pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States



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