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beef_weezle

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beef_weezle

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  • Number of visits : 1461
  • Number of comments : 10
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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beef_weezle's page activity

Visits<b>Justinr017</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 1:42pm<b>mgrazi99</b> - the 04/05/2014 at 6:15pm<b>mrmcmuffins</b> - the 04/05/2014 at 1:18pm

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beef_weezle's favorite FMLs

Today, I came home to my boyfriend emptying his bowels into my aquarium. FML

#19775676
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27549) - you deserved it (2710)

On 06/12/2012 at 9:02am - love - by fledermausi (woman) - Hungary (Budapest)

Today, I got a new pair of glasses, and was driving home. While waiting at a stop sign, I noticed a homeless guy touching himself. He saw me, smiled and waved, and then continued. So much for my new eyesight. FML

#19771597
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23121) - you deserved it (2312)

On 06/11/2012 at 4:30pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I discovered that my expensive new shampoo smells exactly like my ex-girlfriend. So now, whenever I shower, I'm showered with depression. FML

#19766559
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23897) - you deserved it (4464)

On 06/10/2012 at 5:14pm - love - by anon - United Kingdom (Hampshire)

Today, I went to meet my girlfriend's parents at her sister's play. The moment I introduced myself, I realized that her father was my probation officer. FML

#19764456
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30728) - you deserved it (18210)

On 06/10/2012 at 5:16am - love - by fernie vazquez - United States (California)

Today, I saw my mom changing the expiry date on milk. She genuinely thought this would make the milk sour later. FML

#19759587
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24361) - you deserved it (1824)

On 06/09/2012 at 9:54am - health - by WTF (woman) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I found out that my new girlfriend breastfeeds her dolls. FML

#19730259
280 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30955) - you deserved it (3052)

On 06/04/2012 at 12:34am - misc - by whattheheck - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I found out that my colleagues had replaced my email auto-responder with a message saying, "I'm away for two weeks in Brazil. Due to the surgery, when I return, please address me by my new name: Crystal." FML

#19710494
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28046) - you deserved it (2716) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 05/31/2012 at 4:19pm - love - by Monsieur-Madame (man) - France (Champagne-Ardenne)

Today, I figured out why my doctor repeatedly warned me to keep regular bowel movements while I recover from childbirth. I now have an anal fissure. It's like giving birth all over again. FML

#19705256
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19496) - you deserved it (3729)

On 05/30/2012 at 4:25pm - health - by Terri-Lynn (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my girlfriend stuck her finger up my butt while giving me a hand-job, promising it would feel really good. It just felt awkward and made me need to poop. FML

#19703392
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35047) - you deserved it (8646)

On 05/30/2012 at 5:46am - intimacy - by Brax (man) - United States

Today, I went to visit my husband's grave. I was unable to mourn in peace because some teenagers were smoking pot and talking about a government conspiracy "to change the way gravity works" on the next grave over. FML

#19696168
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33211) - you deserved it (1879)

On 05/28/2012 at 10:51pm - misc - by notnicefools - United States (California)

Today, I realised that my body has its own masturbation cycle; while I was out shopping, I heard the intro music to my room-mate's favourite video game, and popped an uncontrollable boner. FML

#19693767
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19877) - you deserved it (4917)

On 05/28/2012 at 2:02pm - intimacy - by Danny (man) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, my boyfriend and I were acting out a kinky scenario at home, where we'd met in a club and were having a one night stand. We ended up getting into a real argument about an imaginary girl in the club. I didn't have sex and we haven't spoken since. FML

#19687901
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10998) - you deserved it (30988)

On 05/27/2012 at 10:19am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I had three things converge that should never be together: my period, hot doctor, and a colonoscopy. FML

#19687199
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31667) - you deserved it (2497)

On 05/27/2012 at 3:42am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my grandmother was driving me to the mall. Suddenly, she stopped in the middle of the road. When I asked her what exactly she was doing, she said, "Oh, am I driving?" FML

#19685712
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25790) - you deserved it (1834)

On 05/26/2012 at 9:48pm - misc - by anonymus - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I discovered that when my professor had said "For every A there will be an F," he was deadly serious. I earned a 94% mark, which in this class is known as a D. FML

#19684129
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24154) - you deserved it (1752)

On 05/26/2012 at 3:34pm - misc - by dany - United States (Ohio)



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