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beef_weezle

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beef_weezle

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 2836
  • Number of comments : 10
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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beef_weezle's page activity

Visits<b>mgrazi99</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 11:38pm<b>ibeliebvatic</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 2:49pm<b>Justinr017</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 1:42pm<b>mrmcmuffins</b> - the 04/05/2014 at 1:18pm

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You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

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You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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beef_weezle's favorite FMLs

Today, I had a hard time taking a dump. Before flushing, I noticed two pennies and a dime incrusted in my turd. It seems that yesterday, while drunk, I swallowed some change. FML

Today, my girlfriend found my list of women I've had sex with, complete with the ratings I'd given them. The list is in chronological order. She's not only not the highest rated, she's not last on the list. FML

#20024660
524 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11576) - you deserved it (154402)

On 08/16/2012 at 3:36pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend used various infomercial phrases like, "Wait, there's more!" during sex. FML

#20019911
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29775) - you deserved it (4558)

On 08/14/2012 at 1:16am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Nebraska)

Today, the air bag system in my car somehow malfunctioned, and the air bag inflated while I was driving, causing me to lose control and crash into a street light. I ended up with a badly bruised face because the air bag had already deflated by then. FML

#20018268
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24659) - you deserved it (1474)

On 08/13/2012 at 4:06am - health - by stupid_airbag (man) - Australia

Today, while on my morning jog, I turned a corner, and out of nowhere, the business end of a bicycle hit me straight in the nuts. As I collapsed, gasping in agony, the guy who just killed a hundred million of my potential children got back on his bike and cycled away without a word. FML

#20017341
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23168) - you deserved it (1925)

On 08/12/2012 at 7:08pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, at work, I was forced to nod and smile as a pregnant, fifteen-year-old, brain-dead Jersey Shore wannabe cussed me out for being rude by using words from a "foreign language" during our conversation. I used the word "pretentious." FML

#20015372
315 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34412) - you deserved it (2127)

On 08/11/2012 at 3:37pm - work - by mikeissad (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, after my boyfriend and I had gotten frisky last night, I found a note on the front door of my building that read, "Dear girl in apartment 3D, from now on please close the blinds all the way or lose 30 pounds. Either would be acceptable." FML

#20012782
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32198) - you deserved it (17141)

On 08/10/2012 at 1:29am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Europe

Today, my mom called me screaming and cussing because she found pot in my room. I come home and my dad says, "I hid some pot in your room and I'm not letting you go to that concert if you rat me out." My dad is apparently a blackmailing 52-year-old stoner. FML

#20006521
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29536) - you deserved it (1884)

On 08/06/2012 at 9:40pm - misc - by Joe Lizen - United States (Illinois)

Today, I had to scream for my dad to come help me, after I got my hair caught in a fan while trying to make the Darth Vader voice. FML

#20006198
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8089) - you deserved it (30124)

On 08/06/2012 at 6:08pm - misc - by :$ - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my soon-to-be stepson, 13, decided that he and I needed to spend "more quality time" together. His idea? We should start "bonding" by taking a bath together. When I said no, he told me I was being unfair, and that if I really loved him, I'd do it. FML

#19999925
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30900) - you deserved it (2401)

On 08/03/2012 at 4:21am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I saw the girl that I've had a crush on forever riding her horse on the side of the road. She waved, and without thinking, I honked my horn in response. Her horse bucked her off. FML

#19997037
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22905) - you deserved it (15688)

On 08/01/2012 at 7:31pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I continued my habit of saying, "It smells like lung cancer over here" any time I see a smoker. This guy turned out to be an amateur MMA fighter, and I was his "workout" for the day. I guess his lungs are doing fine. FML

Today, on my way to work, I noticed a woman on the side of the road waving for help, her car appearing to be broken down. I pulled over, stepped out of my car, went over to her car, lifted the hood, and checked it. When I looked up to tell her what was wrong, she and my car were gone. FML

#19980776
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30086) - you deserved it (7401)

On 07/24/2012 at 1:04am - misc - by Joey - United States (Florida)

Today, my neighbor called me on vacation to tell me that she let my mother into my house to feed my fish. I don't have fish, and my mother passed away 3 years ago. FML

#19978365
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33573) - you deserved it (2277)

On 07/22/2012 at 11:48pm - misc - by My_Name_Is_Zach -



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