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beef_weezle

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beef_weezle

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  • Number of visits : 1356
  • Number of comments : 10
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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beef_weezle's page activity

Visits<b>Justinr017</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 1:42pm<b>mgrazi99</b> - the 04/05/2014 at 6:15pm<b>mrmcmuffins</b> - the 04/05/2014 at 1:18pm

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Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

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beef_weezle's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to meet my girlfriend's parents at her sister's play. The moment I introduced myself, I realized that her father was my probation officer. FML

#19764456
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30711) - you deserved it (18202)

On 06/10/2012 at 5:16am - love - by fernie vazquez - United States (California)

Today, I saw my mom changing the expiry date on milk. She genuinely thought this would make the milk sour later. FML

#19759587
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24333) - you deserved it (1822)

On 06/09/2012 at 9:54am - health - by WTF (woman) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I found out that my new girlfriend breastfeeds her dolls. FML

#19730259
280 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30933) - you deserved it (3048)

On 06/04/2012 at 12:34am - misc - by whattheheck - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I found out that my colleagues had replaced my email auto-responder with a message saying, "I'm away for two weeks in Brazil. Due to the surgery, when I return, please address me by my new name: Crystal." FML

#19710494
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28018) - you deserved it (2713) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 05/31/2012 at 4:19pm - love - by Monsieur-Madame (man) - France (Champagne-Ardenne)

Today, I figured out why my doctor repeatedly warned me to keep regular bowel movements while I recover from childbirth. I now have an anal fissure. It's like giving birth all over again. FML

#19705256
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19469) - you deserved it (3728)

On 05/30/2012 at 4:25pm - health - by Terri-Lynn (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my girlfriend stuck her finger up my butt while giving me a hand-job, promising it would feel really good. It just felt awkward and made me need to poop. FML

#19703392
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35022) - you deserved it (8644)

On 05/30/2012 at 5:46am - intimacy - by Brax (man) - United States

Today, I went to visit my husband's grave. I was unable to mourn in peace because some teenagers were smoking pot and talking about a government conspiracy "to change the way gravity works" on the next grave over. FML

#19696168
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33190) - you deserved it (1878)

On 05/28/2012 at 10:51pm - misc - by notnicefools - United States (California)

Today, I realised that my body has its own masturbation cycle; while I was out shopping, I heard the intro music to my room-mate's favourite video game, and popped an uncontrollable boner. FML

#19693767
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19852) - you deserved it (4917)

On 05/28/2012 at 2:02pm - intimacy - by Danny (man) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, my boyfriend and I were acting out a kinky scenario at home, where we'd met in a club and were having a one night stand. We ended up getting into a real argument about an imaginary girl in the club. I didn't have sex and we haven't spoken since. FML

#19687901
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10989) - you deserved it (30959)

On 05/27/2012 at 10:19am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I had three things converge that should never be together: my period, hot doctor, and a colonoscopy. FML

#19687199
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31621) - you deserved it (2493)

On 05/27/2012 at 3:42am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my grandmother was driving me to the mall. Suddenly, she stopped in the middle of the road. When I asked her what exactly she was doing, she said, "Oh, am I driving?" FML

#19685712
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25775) - you deserved it (1832)

On 05/26/2012 at 9:48pm - misc - by anonymus - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I discovered that when my professor had said "For every A there will be an F," he was deadly serious. I earned a 94% mark, which in this class is known as a D. FML

#19684129
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24119) - you deserved it (1749)

On 05/26/2012 at 3:34pm - misc - by dany - United States (Ohio)

Today, my friends switched my mom and my girlfriend's numbers in my phone. I sexted my mom. FML

#19682048
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33394) - you deserved it (9047)

On 05/26/2012 at 3:15am - intimacy - by ilovemymomma - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend and I went out on his boat. We got in the water and started to have sex when a fishing boat came by and chummed. There's nothing more romantic than bloody fish guts. FML

#19666580
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19575) - you deserved it (9633)

On 05/23/2012 at 5:38am - intimacy - by Fire0fisis (woman) - Hong Kong

Today, someone threw an open soda can at me from a car. It missed, so they circled around and threw an unopened can. That one hit. FML

#19653798
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22259) - you deserved it (1648)

On 05/20/2012 at 9:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)



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