Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

beef_weezle

Offline (the 02/05/2016 at 8:34pm) | Search for a member

beef_weezle

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4240
  • Number of comments : 20
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

beef_weezle's page activity

Visits<b>pattip111</b> - yesterday at 2:01pm<b>kpoakes</b> - the 02/05/2016 at 2:11pm<b>vintral88</b> - the 09/11/2015 at 11:41pm<b>mgrazi99</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 11:38pm<b>ibeliebvatic</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 2:49pm<b>Justinr017</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 1:42pm<b>mrmcmuffins</b> - the 04/05/2014 at 1:18pm

beef_weezle's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of beef_weezle's badges

beef_weezle's favorite FMLs

 Today, I realized how lonely I am, when I got a call from an elderly women who had dialed the wrong number. We ended up having a 20 minute conversation about her cat and how he "just won't use the darn litter pan." I was sad when she had to hang up. FML

#21513970
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22384) - you deserved it (2187)

On 01/11/2016 at 1:03pm - misc - by JoseIsAdork (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I recently burned both my hands at work so I had to ask my husband for help changing my tampon, but he refused saying it would make him feel sick. This from the man who routinely sticks his tongue in my asshole when we have sex. FML

#21512451
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28376) - you deserved it (3302)

On 01/07/2016 at 7:00am - intimacy - by anne (woman) - Germany

Today, I discovered my dog humping my sister's five month old baby while babysitting. FML

Today, my 4 year old's heavily pregnant teacher pulled me aside and asked me to talk to my son about "boundaries". Apparently, he asked her if she was going to "boobie feed" him and listed a few reasons why she should and why formula is bad, in front of the entire class. FML

Today, I finally got myself settled into bed around 2 in the morning after a very long day. My cat started to snuggle with me when I smelled something disgusting. Turns out my cat sharted in my bed. FML

#21512014
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21378) - you deserved it (1982)

On 01/06/2016 at 1:54am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I found out my ex started a Tumblr where she posts one photo a day. Each photo being a pic I texted her over the course of our relationship. My office, the bars I like to go to, favorite restaurants, my mom's place, my place, my penis, etc. FML

#21511030
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21491) - you deserved it (3848)

On 01/03/2016 at 3:02pm - intimacy - by ywouldudomelikethat (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my boyfriend told me I sound like a squeaky toy during sex, and asked if I could get it under control because it creeps him out. FML

#21510905
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20260) - you deserved it (3720)

On 01/03/2016 at 4:41am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Switzerland (Zurich)

Today, I got a call from my dad asking if I was a porno actress. I am. FML

#21510678
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25328) - you deserved it (22340)

On 01/02/2016 at 5:31pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I have a stomach bug. I went to go downstairs, and my cat decided to dart between my legs, causing me to trip and fall down the stairs in a pinwheel of vomit. FML

#21510463
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20560) - you deserved it (1646)

On 01/02/2016 at 12:17am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I found the engagement ring I'd bought and been missing for a week. On my girlfriend's hand. While my childhood friend was inside her. They apparently like pretending she's married while doing this. They made this self-discovery a week ago. Good for them. I don't want the ring back. FML

Today at work, a woman decided to use the changing room as a public toilet, to wipe the urine with the clothes she tried on, then leave the mess along with her soiled underwear and a used maxi pad for me to clean up. FML

#21508922
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24049) - you deserved it (1178)

On 12/28/2015 at 11:59pm - work - by peachass - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I walked in on my 13-year-old sister cutting her pubic hair with scissors. After a long talk about what on earth she was doing, she confessed to doing it so her boyfriend could find her clitoris. FML

#21507957
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24597) - you deserved it (2278)

On 12/26/2015 at 12:40am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I opened my Christmas presents with my husband. One of the things he got me was a ball gag. "Yeah," he said with a grin, "That one's more for me but I didn't wanna buy myself headphones." Cue our son asking me what it was. FML

#21507419
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20291) - you deserved it (1938)

On 12/24/2015 at 6:47pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I walked in on the 13 year-old boy I babysit masturbating while sniffing my jacket. FML

#21506706
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24054) - you deserved it (2021)

On 12/22/2015 at 10:19pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I took a nap on the couch. Apparently, my wife decided to put makeup all over my face as I slept. She didn't tell me until after I went to the gas station to grab some beer. Looks like I will have to find a new place to buy beer from now on. FML

#21505521
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20379) - you deserved it (3449)

On 12/19/2015 at 2:20pm - love - by Sleeping Beauty - United States (New York)



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: