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beef_weezle

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beef_weezle

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 4234
  • Number of comments : 20
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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beef_weezle's page activity

Visits<b>pattip111</b> - 18 hours ago<b>kpoakes</b> - yesterday at 2:11pm<b>vintral88</b> - the 09/11/2015 at 11:41pm<b>mgrazi99</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 11:38pm<b>ibeliebvatic</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 2:49pm<b>Justinr017</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 1:42pm<b>mrmcmuffins</b> - the 04/05/2014 at 1:18pm

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You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

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beef_weezle's favorite FMLs

Today, I agreed to anal with my boyfriend, which he was happy about, until I told him in the interest of fair play he also had to let me fuck him with a strap on. It didn't take him very long to suddenly decide anal is disgusting, with all kinds of health risks. And he thinks he's the smart one. FML

#21522856
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17310) - you deserved it (2603)

On 02/04/2016 at 8:01pm - intimacy - by sandra (woman) - Norway (Sor-Trondelag)

Today, my son wanted to be Spiderman. He found the biggest spider he could outside and let it bite his hand. He's staying overnight in the hospital. FML

#21522558
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20044) - you deserved it (1876)

On 02/03/2016 at 9:04pm - kids - by Spooderman (woman) - United States

Today, I tried to be sexy by pulling down my girlfriend's panties with my teeth. I didn't expect to be faced with the mother of all shit stains and start gagging so bad I nearly puked. FML

#21522398
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23231) - you deserved it (3268)

On 02/03/2016 at 10:40am - intimacy - by :x (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I finally scrounged up enough change to do laundry, so I loaded up my car, swung by the bank to take out my rent money, and stopped at a gas station to get a drink. When I came outside, my car was gone, along with all my clothes and rent money. FML

Today, at my daughter's fundraiser, I noticed that a guy with a face only a fist could love kept staring at her. I said "Beautiful, isn't she?" Before I could tell him to keep it in his damned pants, he replied "Hah. She's my girlfriend, dude. Total beast in the sack." Complete news to me on both counts. FML

#21520041
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24421) - you deserved it (2718)

On 01/27/2016 at 11:35am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Kansas)

Today, my girlfriend came home and spontaneously wanted to have sex for the first time in about a year. I'm a recovering alcoholic, and had just came from an AA meeting. She reeked of alcohol, I couldn't get hard because of it and she got pissed at me. She says she won't be spontaneous again. FML

#21519928
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21813) - you deserved it (1714)

On 01/27/2016 at 1:04am - intimacy - by FullCircleProblem (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I got a new babysitting job. Every time the little girl goes to the bathroom, she screams and cries until I wipe her. She's 7 years old. FML

#21519668
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19700) - you deserved it (1460)

On 01/26/2016 at 1:09pm - kids - by justsomesummer (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my son became convinced that his father cheated and we put the fertilized egg inside me to cover the whole thing up. He won't stop calling me "host mother". FML

#21519206
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21596) - you deserved it (1814)

On 01/25/2016 at 9:09am - kids - by anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was leaving the house to go on a date. My dad stopped me at the door and said confidently, "Tear that pussy up, son." I'm gay and my dad knows that. FML

#21519039
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21808) - you deserved it (3868)

On 01/24/2016 at 8:24pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Dominican Republic (Distrito Nacional)

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It was all going great until he decided to try talking dirty. His idea of this was moaning loudly, "Just what the pussy ordered" as he entered me. FML

#21516882
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19226) - you deserved it (2151)

On 01/19/2016 at 6:03am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I tested out my new paintball gun by firing a few rounds into some thick bushes. Nothing could've prepared me for the angry swarm of hornets whose nest I'd apparently shot. I'm in so much pain. FML

#21515811
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19121) - you deserved it (7301)

On 01/16/2016 at 3:17am - health - by someone euthanize me -

Today, sewage came up the toilet and tub in my apartment and spread far enough to get into the hallway. The maintenance crew found the source of the blocked pipes to be a ten inch long weave some idiot flushed down a toilet. FML

#21514581
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19762) - you deserved it (1064)

On 01/13/2016 at 12:54am - misc - by NeedsANewApartment (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my girlfriend launched her own business. I was recently laid off from my job, so I offered to be her very first employee. I now have the glamorous job of bleaching people's assholes. FML

#21514315
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19974) - you deserved it (6240)

On 01/12/2016 at 1:04pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I woke up to my roommate's friend rustling in the attic without permission to be there. When I asked how he got in with all doors and windows locked, he simply said, "It's a secret." FML

#21514032
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18507) - you deserved it (1301)

On 01/11/2016 at 4:52pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)



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