Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

beef_weezle

Offline (8 hours ago) | Search for a member

beef_weezle

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2833
  • Number of comments : 10
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

beef_weezle's page activity

Visits<b>mgrazi99</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 11:38pm<b>ibeliebvatic</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 2:49pm<b>Justinr017</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 1:42pm<b>mrmcmuffins</b> - the 04/05/2014 at 1:18pm

beef_weezle's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of beef_weezle's badges

beef_weezle's favorite FMLs

Today, I bought an expensive video game and decided to show it off and post a photo of it on Instagram. When I got home to play it, it rejected my activation key. I then realised it was showing in the Instagram post. FML

#21411390
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11359) - you deserved it (39693)

On 05/17/2015 at 9:09am - misc - by PISSED OFF - Australia

Today, I had to pick my brother up from work because he broke down crying. I arrived to find that apparently, you can get so stoned that serving a pregnant woman at a fast food joint moves you to tears over the miracle of life. FML

#21409953
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29146) - you deserved it (2195)

On 05/14/2015 at 10:23am - misc - by sistertaxi - Australia

Today, I went to bring my 92-year-old neighbor some cake we had just made. When I walked in, she was wearing pants. That's it. I stared blinking in shock for a few seconds before running away, yelling, "So sorry. I brought you cake. Real tired. Gonna sleep now. Bye." FML

#21409137
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23657) - you deserved it (3014)

On 05/12/2015 at 8:33pm - misc - by Nikki (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my rental car had an automatic rear hatch. That sounded helpful until I used it and it emptied $60 in just-purchased groceries for the week on the parking lot pavement. The jars and jugs weren't ready for the leap. FML

#21408338
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23081) - you deserved it (3665)

On 05/11/2015 at 10:37am - money - by technodont - United States

Today, once again, I explained that yes, I'm Russian. No, I'm not a communist. No, I don't pray to a picture of Putin riding a bear. And no, I don't have any vodka on me. FML

#21408243
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30232) - you deserved it (3002)

On 05/11/2015 at 2:59am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, at a party I got blind drunk and I gave a guy a blowjob for the first time. I'm a 100% heterosexual male. FML

#21406764
295 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18113) - you deserved it (34098)

On 05/08/2015 at 12:59pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - India (Delhi)

Today, I thought it would be funny to fart next to my brother in the car. Apparently, his carsickness is exacerbated by strong smells. I now know what it feels like to have lap full of vomit. FML

#21406695
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13100) - you deserved it (34587)

On 05/08/2015 at 9:51am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my 6-year-old daughter barged into the bathroom while I was peeing, inspected the toilet and said, "You're well hydrated, good job." FML

#21405462
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28449) - you deserved it (3358)

On 05/06/2015 at 1:22am - kids - by seethroughpee - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I asked the man of my dreams out on a date. His response: "I'd rather eat my own balls." FML

#21399850
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32356) - you deserved it (3076)

On 04/26/2015 at 4:19am - love - by fuck you (woman) - United Kingdom (Sheffield)

Today, while mowing my backyard, I carelessly ran over a fire ant hill. Thousands of tiny stinging insects blowing towards you while you're wearing shorts and a t-shirt is definitely not fun. FML

#21395171
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25948) - you deserved it (4917)

On 04/17/2015 at 11:27am - health - by Mitchellbassists (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, a little girl from my Sunday School class approached me and told me she had a stomach ache. She seemed very upset and her face was discolored so I took her to the nurse. While we were walking out the door, I looked down and saw a half-eaten crayon on the floor. That'll do it. FML

#21392424
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24112) - you deserved it (1882)

On 04/12/2015 at 3:49pm - health - by drewcaver - United States (Texas)

Today, I got trapped in my building's elevator for over an hour, with my dog who I had been rushing outside with because he had explosive diarrhea. FML

#21391716
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33733) - you deserved it (2494)

On 04/11/2015 at 8:12am - animals - by Crappy - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out that my friend's family has been using red paper to help his little brother with his potty training. "Aim for the red!" they would say to him. I guess today was a bad day to wear red pants. FML

#21381127
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27700) - you deserved it (2388)

On 03/25/2015 at 2:26am - kids - by ILoveLamps (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my son was at a birthday party. After eating a plate of cake, he loudly asked the birthday boy's mum if he could have sloppy seconds. I don't know where he heard that phrase, but the other kids' parents shot me very dirty looks. FML

#21369892
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28007) - you deserved it (2969)

On 03/07/2015 at 11:59am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)



FML's blog

  • JT's illustrated FML
  • Hello everybody, how's it going? This week we're looking at the delicate art of getting along with your neighbours. If you've ever lived in an apartment building, you'll know that having people live…

Friday 22 May 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: