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Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
YDI master
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
I agree, their lives suck
200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.
Today, I have to defend my client in court. The defense that my client wants me to use is, "It's not a robbery if you have swag" and then goes on saying, "The judge is bound to let me go after he sees my swag." FML
I agree, your life sucks (37579) - you deserved it (2838)
On 05/22/2013 at 9:57pm - work - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)
Today, the extremely uncooperative client whom I'm trying to defend in court sent me a letter in which he threatened to sue me, because charging him for my services supposedly violates his "constipational rights". FML
I agree, your life sucks (39523) - you deserved it (3012)
On 05/19/2013 at 5:27pm - work - by harrington61 (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, the couch I bought a week ago was delivered. I don't know which is worse: my son being the one to point out it's been "used", or that he used a black light to prove it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40913) - you deserved it (3607)
On 05/19/2013 at 3:35am - kids - by disappointed dad - United States
Today, I had my college graduation ceremony. As I was walking across the stage, some asshat, in front of over 55,000 students and staff, brazenly ran across the stage, snatched my diploma up out of the president's hand, and ran off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50204) - you deserved it (3140)
On 05/09/2013 at 6:11am - misc - by Uwrongfodat (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was in a bathroom stall and I accidentally dropped my new tampon on the ground. Just as I was about to reach for it, I heard a voice on the other side of the stall say, "Oh great, I needed that" and then a hand reached under my stall and grabbed it. It was my last one. FML
I agree, your life sucks (52671) - you deserved it (3878)
On 05/07/2013 at 1:10am - misc - by the girl next door (woman) - United States (Missouri)
Today, my dumbass colleague was too lazy to go buy balloons for a party in recognition of our company's huge merger. Instead, he made condom balloons. Let's just say you don't make blow up condoms for a prestigious company event. A company whose CEO is named Dick. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45552) - you deserved it (3695)
On 05/05/2013 at 12:14am - work - by ADickySituation - United States (Illinois)
Today, my wife told me that getting in the mood to have sex with me is like trying to get in the mood to hit the treadmill. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44597) - you deserved it (5783)
On 05/03/2013 at 8:13am - intimacy - by Who1s269 (man) - United States
Today, my girlfriend from high school contacted me, telling me we should hang out some time; I casually agreed. Two hours later she's on my doorstep in tears, wanting me to take her back. She's married with kids. I live four states away and haven't a clue how she found out where I live. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48703) - you deserved it (2868)
On 04/21/2013 at 7:26pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, I can no longer leave my son at daycare, because at the age of 5, he's started manipulating the girls there into fighting over him. A kid lost a baby tooth in one such brawl. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42928) - you deserved it (5435)
On 04/20/2013 at 12:34pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Thailand
Today, I woke up to my brother chopping all my bangs off. When I yelled at him, he could only shout back, "You can see clearly now, the bangs are gone!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (43950) - you deserved it (7045)
On 04/17/2013 at 12:13pm - kids - by my dumb bro - United States (Arkansas)
Today, I found out that Yale had actually accepted me seventeen years ago. My mother apparently burned my acceptance package and letters because she didn't want me to upstage her UChicago degree. FML
I agree, your life sucks (86423) - you deserved it (3210)
On 04/15/2013 at 3:37am - misc - by OPhere (man) - United States (California)
Today, I borrowed my 23-year-old son's laptop. The sticky keyboard gave me a good idea of his browsing history. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37577) - you deserved it (11645) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 04/14/2013 at 7:18pm - misc - by NiquetChrome (woman) - France
Today, I was lying in bed with my girlfriend, when she reached over and twisted my nipples to the point of tears. I'm still not sure what in the name of Dawkins I did to deserve that. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28873) - you deserved it (11806)
On 04/12/2013 at 7:57pm - misc - by SoreNips (man) - United Kingdom (Essex)
Today, my boyfriend of 2 weeks said that he was going to cook me dinner. After waiting for the frozen pizza that he decided to make for me to be completely cooked, he said, "Oh I hate this part", reached into the oven with his bare hands and took out the pizza, all while screaming. He is 24. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44666) - you deserved it (5213)
On 04/11/2013 at 11:42am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I woke up to my husband taking a piss on our bedroom floor. I screamed that he wasn't in the bathroom, to which he responded, "Shut up! I'm taking a piss, let me finish!" He has no recollection of the event. Now I have to clean up his piss and rewash my clothes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27803) - you deserved it (2713)
On 04/02/2013 at 2:42pm - misc - by MilleeMacabre - United States
Monday 20 May 2013
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