About beclaurela : A Lauren is a very strange being. The Lauren isn't exactly human. More like a god. A Lauren is usually into very disturbing horror movies, and laughs at the gore that makes weaker men vomit. She enjoys punk music and just being weird and funny. Laurens are usually very beautiful, however they don't think so at all. On the outside, she's stubborn, a little mean, some might even say bitchy. But inside, she's the nicest, most caring person ever, but only if you get to know her. I advise you not piss off a Lauren, 'cause she will fucking mutilate you. Laurens are guy magnets, even if they refuse to acknowledge it. A Lauren will make you smile right away, with her sarcastic comebacks and twisted sense of humor. Laurens are usually picky with guys so if one likes you, you're a lucky bastard. They make the best friends, they can be sweet (sometimes) and they're not afraid to stand up and be a raving bitch when called for. You'd be lucky to know one, I know I am:] - Thank you Urbandictionary
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Today, my crush finally agreed to spend the night with me. I told my parents to act normal for one night. Apparently, "normal" is strutting around naked and acting like a chicken. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18760) - you deserved it (3763)
On 11/17/2012 at 8:34am - love - by schooyou101 - United States (Kansas)
Today, I sat on my balls while at a restaurant. As I was wincing in pain and readjusting myself, my girlfriend came and sat on my lap. She landed directly on my nuts. After a minute or two, I stood up, only to rack myself once again on the corner of the table. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23508) - you deserved it (4053)
On 11/16/2012 at 4:40am - misc - by mfischer (man) - United States
Today, I brought a fluorescent tube to the store to make sure I got the correct replacement. Trying to charm the sexy cashier, I waved the tube in the air, saying "I need a new light sabre, there is no force left in this one and the Empire is attacking." Turns out she'd never heard of Star Wars. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14067) - you deserved it (17479)
On 11/14/2012 at 6:39am - misc - by hclagopus (man) - Norway
Today, I realized that the bird I supposedly heard during the night throughout my childhood is actually the sound my mom makes when she comes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29108) - you deserved it (1718)
On 11/12/2012 at 4:20pm - intimacy - by Heather - United States (Maryland)
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. I came back home in tears, and eventually told my dad what was wrong. He immediately excused himself to the living room, where I heard him tell my mom, "She's gone all Taylor Swift again." FML
I agree, your life sucks (134) - you deserved it (6019)
On 11/11/2012 at 5:48pm - love - by notalovestory (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)
Today, I delivered a pizza to a guy so high out of his mind that I had to let myself in and set it down on a table, because he'd forgotten how to walk, and was on the ground sobbing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18210) - you deserved it (1142)
On 11/10/2012 at 4:14pm - misc - by anon - United States (Washington)
Today, after dealing with infidelity in my marriage, I found myself looking for advice. This led me to the comments section of a tabloid article talking about Kristen Stewart and Rob Pattinson. I'm a 30-year-old man taking marriage advice from a bunch of vampire-obsessed tweens. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12702) - you deserved it (4435)
On 11/09/2012 at 11:07am - love - by loser (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, just like every morning this month, I woke up, put on my clothes, looked out my window, and was pointed at by a man in a ninja outfit on my neighbor's roof. The police still can't find him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20422) - you deserved it (1706)
On 11/08/2012 at 11:54pm - misc - by Targeted - United States (Washington)
Today, I was told that my insurance will no longer cover my birth control as it's deemed "unnecessary" for a man, which, according to them, I've been since August. I'm definitely still a woman. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19976) - you deserved it (1216)
On 11/07/2012 at 4:16pm - health - by pheebs314 - United States (Washington)
Today, I found a limp head of celery in the fridge. I thought it looked like the squid alien baby from Men in Black. After nursing it for a couple of hours, giving it food, and rocking it to sleep, my parents found me. Then I realised it was just celery. Too bad it took that long for my meds to kick in. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13963) - you deserved it (4414)
On 11/07/2012 at 12:11am - misc - by Squid (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I woke up with a wax strip on my chest and my girlfriend sitting next to me on the bed laughing. She pulled the strip. I screamed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22082) - you deserved it (2963)
On 11/06/2012 at 12:11am - intimacy - by Ugggggggggg (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, dressed in my sexiest nightie, I asked my boyfriend in the most sensual voice possible what he'd like me do to for him tonight. His eyed widened, he started clapping wildly and then shrieked, "SPAGHETTI CARBONARA!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (17942) - you deserved it (3067) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 11/01/2012 at 7:48am - love - by Anonymous - France (Picardie)
Today, my daughter called me telling me she had her twin girls. She named them Juli and Anne. Her name is Julianne. Her kids are going to fucking hate her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23302) - you deserved it (2376)
On 10/31/2012 at 1:01am - kids - by poorkids (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, maintenance came to fix the constantly beeping alarm system near my apartment. They changed it from beeping on-and-off to one never-ending beep, similar to the sound of my sanity flat-lining. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14917) - you deserved it (812)
On 10/29/2012 at 12:31am - misc - by tcm123 - United States (Illinois)
Today, my 13-year-old son discovered Axe. Axe shower gel. Axe shampoo. Axe body spray. All at once. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20493) - you deserved it (1557)
On 10/24/2012 at 1:15am - kids - by BobsBabe2 - United States
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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