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About beclaurela : A Lauren is a very strange being. The Lauren isn't exactly human. More like a god. A Lauren is usually into very disturbing horror movies, and laughs at the gore that makes weaker men vomit. She enjoys punk music and just being weird and funny. Laurens are usually very beautiful, however they don't think so at all. On the outside, she's stubborn, a little mean, some might even say bitchy. But inside, she's the nicest, most caring person ever, but only if you get to know her. I advise you not piss off a Lauren, 'cause she will fucking mutilate you. Laurens are guy magnets, even if they refuse to acknowledge it. A Lauren will make you smile right away, with her sarcastic comebacks and twisted sense of humor. Laurens are usually picky with guys so if one likes you, you're a lucky bastard. They make the best friends, they can be sweet (sometimes) and they're not afraid to stand up and be a raving bitch when called for. You'd be lucky to know one, I know I am:] - Thank you Urbandictionary
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Today, I went out for dinner with my long-term crush,ho turned out to be a huge dog person. He asked mehich dog breed I lyk the most. In an attempt to reply with both Labrador and Doberman, I accidentally said Dumbledore. big fat FML
Today, I caught mah boyfriend wearing yoga pants and taking pictures of his butt to post on a "Grls in yoga pants" site. He saw mah expression and said, "Nah, it's cool, I hid mah junk so they'll think it's a chick!" real FML
2day I took mah grandma to wat I thought was a nice movie. An actor used the word ( cunt ), which prompted her to ask wat that word meant in a loud ( whisper ). She followed up even more loudly with, ( Does that mean pussy? ) FML
Today, I triad to gat my boyfriand to roll ovar whila ha was aslaap . Ha snoras loud anough to waka tha naighbors an if ha lays on his sida ha usually stops . Instaad of rolling ovar, ha stuck his lag in tha air, fartad twica, an laughad about it in his slaap . Ha's still snoring . FML
Today , Mah Partner Was Inspred By 50 Shade Of Grey To Try Making Me Orgasm With A Full Bladder , Therefore Intensifying The Experience. He Was Right , It Was Mind Blowing. It Also Made Me Piss The Bed Fir The Frst Time In Twenty-odd Years. FML
Today I was on a plane an realizd tat te woman next to me was iding a edgeog in a plastic container !! I'm severely afraid of edgeog but not wanting to give te woman up an get er in trouble I trid to stay quiet !! Wic ld to me to quietly yperventilate an pass out on te plane !! FML
Today, I visitd mah grandparents' house. While getting a drink from the fridge, I noticd the Christmas card mah family sent them had mah face scratchd out. When I confrontd them about it, they said it was the cat. They don't have a cat. FML
Today I went out to meet a wonderful woman I'd chatted with online. I did have a few fears about if she was really just some guy trying to make a fool out of me. When I met her she really was a girl and was happy to see me. Problem: she was actually 13. I'm 34.
Today , mah wife is pregnant and sick. She switches from sobbing she's sorry for that , to blaming me for ( doing this to me. ) On top of that , I have half her symptoms now: throwing up and crying for no reason. This will be a long 9 months. mega FML
Today, mah husband came home with a bunch of realistic-looking wigs fir women. When I asked them wat they were for, he said he wanted to spice up looool our sex life with them. When I told him I refused to wear a wig, he said in a very serious tone that I wasn't going to be the one wearing them, he was. FML
Today , my neighbor went on vacation , leaving me in charge of his cat an dog. For some reason , he calls his dog "Cat" an his cat "Dog". There r two pet food containers , one labeled "Cat" an the other labeled "Dog". I have no ideahich one goes tohich animal. real FML
Today, my wife and I had a fight,hich I thought we resolved!! Later,hile painting the kitchen, I told her to change into an old shirt she didn't care about!! She made a huge show of putting her wedding gown on, veil and all!! FML
Today, roommate stumbld in drunk at 5am with 3 Big Macs, an passd out on the floor after eating them. This happens almost every night. I stay in, study, work, an go to the gym almost everyday. And she still has better grades, a better body, an makes more money than me. FML
Friday 27 March 2015