beclaurela

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Offline (the 03/23/2015 at 4:30am)

beclaurela

7Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 18 April 1996 (20 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 5810
  • Number of comments : 166
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 13 posted

About beclaurela : A Lauren is a very strange being. The Lauren isn't exactly human. More like a god. A Lauren is usually into very disturbing horror movies, and laughs at the gore that makes weaker men vomit. She enjoys punk music and just being weird and funny. Laurens are usually very beautiful, however they don't think so at all. On the outside, she's stubborn, a little mean, some might even say bitchy. But inside, she's the nicest, most caring person ever, but only if you get to know her. I advise you not piss off a Lauren, 'cause she will fucking mutilate you. Laurens are guy magnets, even if they refuse to acknowledge it. A Lauren will make you smile right away, with her sarcastic comebacks and twisted sense of humor. Laurens are usually picky with guys so if one likes you, you're a lucky bastard. They make the best friends, they can be sweet (sometimes) and they're not afraid to stand up and be a raving bitch when called for. You'd be lucky to know one, I know I am:] - Thank you Urbandictionary

beclaurela's page activity

Visits<b>swervelol</b> - the 11/25/2016 at 1:29pm<b>SpaceToast</b> - the 09/29/2016 at 12:58am<b>TacklessHail38</b> - the 06/14/2016 at 7:57pm<b>UltimateGamerQ8</b> - the 04/14/2016 at 6:29pm<b>super_ness</b> - the 04/05/2016 at 1:56pm<b>Dalboz</b> - the 03/08/2016 at 12:21am<b>thefaekitten</b> - the 03/05/2016 at 12:43pm<b>SmaxJax</b> - the 02/02/2016 at 5:30pm<b>Cyrus00</b> - the 12/30/2015 at 10:35pm<b>qwertydude1</b> - the 11/16/2015 at 11:01pm<b>Cookie_Overlord</b> - the 10/25/2015 at 11:54pm<b>ThunderLightTSV</b> - the 10/21/2015 at 8:09pm<b>ColorOfSoul</b> - the 10/20/2015 at 9:02am<b>yuno_gasai</b> - the 10/06/2015 at 5:34am<b>martin8337</b> - the 09/25/2015 at 3:11am<b>Feklfekl2222</b> - the 09/11/2015 at 2:37pm<b>ZombieGuyCXV</b> - the 09/11/2015 at 10:24am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 08/19/2015 at 10:15pm

Fucked!<b>SpaceToast</b> - the 09/29/2016 at 6:59am<b>ThunderLightTSV</b> - the 10/22/2015 at 2:09am<b>yuno_gasai</b> - the 10/06/2015 at 11:34am<b>martin8337</b> - the 09/25/2015 at 9:11am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 08/20/2015 at 4:13am<b>Mukuro</b> - the 03/02/2015 at 8:39pm<b>PrincessOfGore</b> - the 02/17/2015 at 3:39am

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beclaurela's favorite FMLs

Today, I was eating out with a group of friends and my boyfriend. During the meal, I accidentally took a sip from my male friend's glass. My boyfriend pointed and said, "Babe, you took his drink." My friend responded by putting his arm round me and saying, "Whatever, I took her virginity." FML

by everyoneheard / 03/28/2013 at 11:11am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Intimacy

Today, I awoke to my husband talking to someone on the phone at 2am. I heard him say, "Baby you're making me hard." Immediately, I asked him who he was talking to. His response? "It's Jake, from State Farm." FML

by anonymous / 03/27/2013 at 7:55pm / United States (Hawaii) / Intimacy

Today, my husband called me, saying he was in the hospital with a friend who'd just broken his arm. Too bad I then heard a female voice in the background mutter, "She'll never buy that". FML

by soontobesingle / 03/27/2013 at 3:55pm / United Kingdom (Dorset) / Love

Today, on Facebook, I mentioned that I'd just finished reading the novel Pet Sematary. Two hours later, I'd lost two friends and my boyfriend, after they commented "learn to spell, dumbass", "u illiterate fucker", and "well, I'm not dating you for your brains, am I?" I hate humanity. FML

by Anonymous / 03/22/2013 at 8:02pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I discovered the "may have a laxative effect" warning on my sugar-free jelly beans should actually read "don't fart after consuming". FML

by Kimberpoo / 03/14/2013 at 2:21am / United States (California) / Health

Today, I was helping my father-in-law out at a family barbecue. Somehow, the topic turned to grand-children, at which point I confessed that my wife has been having trouble conceiving. His response was to boom: "Sure you've been putting it in the right hole, son?!" FML

by um... maybe / 03/12/2013 at 6:43pm / United Kingdom / Kids

Today, a technician from my ISP came to my house to replace my router. He asked for a glass of water, one thing led to another, and for some reason I'll never fully understand, we ended up having sex. Looks like porn logic is not so far off the mark after all. FML

by je_regrette_tout / 03/09/2013 at 1:50pm / Intimacy

Today, I had to help my little sister do a first-grade project for school. For one part, they have to draw a picture of their role model. She drew a whale, and I asked, "A whale is your role model?" She laughed and said, "No! It's you!" FML

by peace out / 03/05/2013 at 3:19pm / United States (South Carolina) / Kids

Today, I'm 8 months pregnant with a horribly sore back and an insensitive husband. I'm so desperate for relief that I'm lying on the couch, using my vibrator to give myself a back massage. FML

by guyssuck / 02/26/2013 at 2:11pm / Canada (Northwest Territories) / Miscellaneous

Today, I gave birth to my daughter in a hospital corridor. The nurse who took me to my room afterward tried to comfort me by saying there've been worse incidents; she said that two years ago, a lady gave birth in the parking lot. That was me too. FML

by laprochainefoisjerestealamaison / 02/25/2013 at 2:47pm / France (Languedoc-Roussillon) / Health

Today, I was babysitting, and I had to pee really, really badly. I couldn't figure out how to get the stupid toilet lock off, and ended up pissing myself. As I stood in the bathroom in tears, their child screamed, "No, no, pee-pee in the POTTY!" FML

by soaked / 02/25/2013 at 2:16pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Kids

Today, my boyfriend made me play Slender. I was so terrified, I stopped playing 10 minutes in. Tonight, I kept hearing noises outside. When I peered out through the window, a bald figure in a suit was staring back at me. I shrieked in absolute terror; he burst out laughing. It was my boyfriend. FML

by stillfuckingcrying / 02/24/2013 at 4:20pm / Sweden (Kalmar Lan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I stole a pen from the doctor's office while she wasn't looking. Later on at work, I idly pulled the pen out during a meeting. My colleague looked at me, horrified. The pen had the words "minimally invasive gynecological surgery" emblazoned on it. I'm a man. FML

by Anonymous / 02/21/2013 at 9:56pm / United States (New York) / Work

Today, I lost a bet with my friends. I had to go to the super market and buy a copy of 50 Shades of Grey along with a cucumber. The cashier was trying so hard not to laugh while ringing me up. FML

by Anonymous / 02/21/2013 at 8:43am / United States (Idaho) / Miscellaneous

Today, my husband and I were fooling around in the shower. For some reason, I thought it'd be a good idea to grab his man meat and show him how to wash someone at a nursing home. He said he'd never be turned on by a nurse again. I'm a nurse. FML

by tomedicalforlove / 02/21/2013 at 12:51am / Love