About beclaurela : A Lauren is a very strange being. The Lauren isn't exactly human. More like a god. A Lauren is usually into very disturbing horror movies, and laughs at the gore that makes weaker men vomit. She enjoys punk music and just being weird and funny. Laurens are usually very beautiful, however they don't think so at all. On the outside, she's stubborn, a little mean, some might even say bitchy. But inside, she's the nicest, most caring person ever, but only if you get to know her. I advise you not piss off a Lauren, 'cause she will fucking mutilate you. Laurens are guy magnets, even if they refuse to acknowledge it. A Lauren will make you smile right away, with her sarcastic comebacks and twisted sense of humor. Laurens are usually picky with guys so if one likes you, you're a lucky bastard. They make the best friends, they can be sweet (sometimes) and they're not afraid to stand up and be a raving bitch when called for. You'd be lucky to know one, I know I am:] - Thank you Urbandictionary
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Today, my father gave me his blessing to be married on one condition: that I keep my maiden name when I marry. My fiancé thought it would be "epic". My last name will be hyphenated to Cobb-Webb. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25878) - you deserved it (3958)
On 02/16/2013 at 10:27am - love - by MsCobb - United States (Ohio)
Today, while riding the train home, I noticed a man who kept looking at me. Annoyed, I told him to be less obvious and to stop staring. He promptly responded, "Bitch, I'm gay, and even I can tell no one would want to look at you." FML
I agree, your life sucks (9513) - you deserved it (37771)
On 02/14/2013 at 2:39am - misc - by assoutofuandme (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I realized that the air freshener in my bathroom and the air freshener in my girlfriend's bedroom are the exact same scent. Now, every time I go to the bathroom I get an erection, and every time my girlfriend and I have sex in her room, I think about shitting. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28174) - you deserved it (4933)
On 02/11/2013 at 11:59pm - intimacy - by thefriedman (man) - United States (California)
Today, a girl came up to me on the street and said, "You have like no swag, bro." Feeling clever, I said, "At least I have a high school education." She then took out her work ID, showing me that she was a surgeon, flipped me off, then walked away saying, "This is totally going on Facebook." FML
I agree, your life sucks (23783) - you deserved it (21632)
On 02/11/2013 at 10:26am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was at an estate sale of my neighbor who recently passed. I recognized many items for sale that I had ordered or won on eBay from the past 8 years. Turns out the little old lady had been stealing my mail for close to a decade. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32034) - you deserved it (2503)
Today, after a shower, my dad jokingly asked if I was jacking off in the shower because I was taking a long time. Before I could respond, my mom chimed in with, "No, he does it before he showers, haven't you noticed how he locks himself in his room?" She was right on the money. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30897) - you deserved it (7813)
On 02/05/2013 at 11:18am - intimacy - by Lockedinroom (man) - United States
Today, at a friendly get-together, my friend's husband had too much to drink and got into a fistfight with my husband. I'm seven-and-a-half months pregnant, and the friendly get-together was my baby shower. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24142) - you deserved it (2419)
On 02/05/2013 at 12:22am - misc - by anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, my girlfriend lost her virginity. I still have mine, though. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45234) - you deserved it (2511)
On 02/04/2013 at 12:17pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, after heavy rain my street flooded. While in my living room, I looked outside to see that my elderly neighbour was outside splashing in a knee deep puddle. He was butt-naked and wearing a snorkel and flippers. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22273) - you deserved it (2188)
On 02/04/2013 at 4:15am - misc - by Stunned (man) - New Zealand (Wellington)
Today, I was dragged to a Super Bowl party. While there, the host's kid threw 3 cups of apple sauce at my feet, which then exploded and covered my jeans. 10 minutes later, the host's wife announced that she was pregnant with twins. All I could come up with was, "You're making more!?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (26255) - you deserved it (3983)
On 02/04/2013 at 12:15am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, after nearly 5 months of trying for a baby, I found out my wife has continued to take the pill as it gave her a better idea of her cycle and thus when she'd be "most fertile". FML
I agree, your life sucks (30946) - you deserved it (2546)
On 02/03/2013 at 9:17pm - intimacy - by jdrew32 - United Kingdom (Liverpool)
Today, the guy that I've liked for a while but never had the courage to talk to was wearing a TARDIS shirt. I jokingly asked, "Are you the Doctor?" His response was for me to "Go away, f***ing nerd." FML
I agree, your life sucks (26503) - you deserved it (2770)
On 02/03/2013 at 9:16pm - love - by guessnot (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my girlfriend asked me if she looked fat in her new pair of jeans. Knowing I was probably about two seconds away from all hell breaking loose, I instinctively tried to save my game, before remembering I wasn't playing a video game. I really need to get a life. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8610) - you deserved it (19118)
On 02/03/2013 at 4:57pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia
Today, I walked in on my mom drenched in tears, barely able to speak. I ran to get her some tissues and a nice cup of tea to calm her down. After a few minutes of sitting in silence, I asked her if she wanted to talk about what happened. She watched an episode of Gossip Girl. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22514) - you deserved it (1819)
On 02/03/2013 at 4:58am - misc - by wetqueefa (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was running late for work and quickly grabbed my outfit from the dryer. I heard the crackling of static as I took out my shirt. I didn't think anything of it, until later when my co-worker pointed out I had a thong stuck to my back. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21253) - you deserved it (5066)
On 02/03/2013 at 2:32am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Monday 20 May 2013
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