beclaurela

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Offline (the 03/23/2015 at 4:30am)

beclaurela

6Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 18 April 1996 (20 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 5415
  • Number of comments : 166
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 13 posted

About beclaurela : A Lauren is a very strange being. The Lauren isn't exactly human. More like a god. A Lauren is usually into very disturbing horror movies, and laughs at the gore that makes weaker men vomit. She enjoys punk music and just being weird and funny. Laurens are usually very beautiful, however they don't think so at all. On the outside, she's stubborn, a little mean, some might even say bitchy. But inside, she's the nicest, most caring person ever, but only if you get to know her. I advise you not piss off a Lauren, 'cause she will fucking mutilate you. Laurens are guy magnets, even if they refuse to acknowledge it. A Lauren will make you smile right away, with her sarcastic comebacks and twisted sense of humor. Laurens are usually picky with guys so if one likes you, you're a lucky bastard. They make the best friends, they can be sweet (sometimes) and they're not afraid to stand up and be a raving bitch when called for. You'd be lucky to know one, I know I am:] - Thank you Urbandictionary

beclaurela's page activity

Visits<b>TacklessHail38</b> - the 06/14/2016 at 7:57pm<b>UltimateGamerQ8</b> - the 04/14/2016 at 6:29pm<b>super_ness</b> - the 04/05/2016 at 1:56pm<b>Dalboz</b> - the 03/08/2016 at 12:21am<b>thefaekitten</b> - the 03/05/2016 at 12:43pm<b>SmaxJax</b> - the 02/02/2016 at 5:30pm<b>Cyrus00</b> - the 12/30/2015 at 10:35pm<b>qwertydude1</b> - the 11/16/2015 at 11:01pm<b>Cookie_Overlord</b> - the 10/25/2015 at 11:54pm<b>ThunderLightTSV</b> - the 10/21/2015 at 8:09pm<b>ColorOfSoul</b> - the 10/20/2015 at 9:02am<b>yuno_gasai</b> - the 10/06/2015 at 5:34am<b>martin8337</b> - the 09/25/2015 at 3:11am<b>Feklfekl2222</b> - the 09/11/2015 at 2:37pm<b>ZombieGuyCXV</b> - the 09/11/2015 at 10:24am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 08/19/2015 at 10:15pm<b>invadermaythe1st</b> - the 07/28/2015 at 9:33am<b>ForRealLeo</b> - the 07/10/2015 at 12:26pm

Fucked!<b>ThunderLightTSV</b> - the 10/22/2015 at 2:09am<b>yuno_gasai</b> - the 10/06/2015 at 11:34am<b>martin8337</b> - the 09/25/2015 at 9:11am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 08/20/2015 at 4:13am<b>Mukuro</b> - the 03/02/2015 at 8:39pm<b>PrincessOfGore</b> - the 02/17/2015 at 3:39am

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beclaurela's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to the local pharmacy to buy some condoms. When I went to go purchase them, the elderly lady behind the counter took one look at me and said, "Honey, you're your own birth control." FML

by Anonymous / 06/09/2013 at 10:29am / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was delivering pizza. When I went up to the front door, an elderly lady answered. She was wearing a floral dress that went down to her shins and had a Nicolas Cage mask on with eye holes cut out. When I glanced behind her, I saw her cats had them too. FML

by nicholascageonyourface / 06/09/2013 at 1:13am / United States (Nebraska) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. She pulled down my trousers, saw my Poke-ball boxers, and absolutely lost it. I had to lie next to her in bed for the next 10 minutes hearing her howl with laughter while crying "Dickachu, I choose you!" FML

by Anonymous / 06/07/2013 at 3:10am / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy

Today, I fainted. Instead of stopping to help, some guy stopped to draw a penis on my forehead. The EMT laughed. FML

by Anonymous / 05/29/2013 at 11:21am / United States / Health

Today, I had to make a poster for social studies. I decided to write "Nice ass" in hieroglyphics. Turns out my teacher can read hieroglyphics. FML

by Amber / 05/28/2013 at 7:42pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, I was walking down the stairs with my guitar in hand, singing "I Don't Wanna Miss a Thing" to my wife. I sang, "I don't wanna close my eyes, I don't wanna fall". Before I could say "asleep", I fell down the stairs. My wife almost pissed her pants laughing. My bum hurts. FML

by Anonymous / 05/28/2013 at 12:37pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Love

Today, a man asked about fishing in the river which flows beside where I work. I said you could, but anything you caught under 5 inches has to be thrown back. His wife then said, "Wish I knew that before I married him." I started to laugh. The man almost cried and complained to my boss. FML

by Anonymous / 05/26/2013 at 8:40pm / United Kingdom (South Ayrshire) / Work

Today, our cat died. My five-year-old tried to flush him down the toilet. FML

by JamiesMom / 05/13/2013 at 12:29am / United States (Michigan) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was making tea when I smelled something burning. My very fluffy cat had put his tail right next to the open flame and burnt his fur. Now I have a semi-hairless cat and a very smelly apartment. FML

by AussieG75 / 05/07/2013 at 10:18am / United States (Washington) / Animals

Today, I walked into the living room to find my 11-year-old daughter about to kiss her "not my boyfriend" on the lips. When I asked what she thought she was doing, she peeled a piece of scotch tape off her lips and said, "It's okay! We're using protection." FML

by wtfmama / 05/04/2013 at 8:51am / United States (Wisconsin) / Kids

Today, I caught my 14-year-old daughter stealing alcohol from me. After berating her for half-an-hour I finally said, "At least you're not doing drugs." She gave me a guilty smile and sheepishly said, "At least I'm not a prostitute?" FML

by prostitott / 05/04/2013 at 3:22am / Kids

Today, I was hitting on a cute girl on the bus. It was going well, and she gave me her name to add on Facebook. Since I didn't have the app, I opened Safari on my phone. It opened to my video from Pornhub I watched yesterday and started playing, on full volume, through the entire bus. FML

by acnecream / 05/03/2013 at 9:23am / Finland (Eastern Finland) / Transportation

Today, my wife told me that getting in the mood to have sex with me is like trying to get in the mood to hit the treadmill. FML

by Who1s269 / 05/03/2013 at 8:13am / United States / Intimacy

Today, my wife shaved her pubic hair so that it resembles Hitler's mustache. She won't stop referring to it as "the Clitler". FML

by Anonymous / 05/02/2013 at 8:50pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, while I was in the shower, I heard a door slam. Assuming it was my fiancé, I shouted "I love you!" I later opened the bathroom door to see my stereo and television missing. I'd said "I love you" to whoever robbed my apartment. FML

by ShowerGirl / 04/30/2013 at 3:54am / United States / Money