Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Offline (the 03/23/2015 at 4:30am) | Search for a member
About beclaurela : A Lauren is a very strange being. The Lauren isn't exactly human. More like a god. A Lauren is usually into very disturbing horror movies, and laughs at the gore that makes weaker men vomit. She enjoys punk music and just being weird and funny. Laurens are usually very beautiful, however they don't think so at all. On the outside, she's stubborn, a little mean, some might even say bitchy. But inside, she's the nicest, most caring person ever, but only if you get to know her. I advise you not piss off a Lauren, 'cause she will fucking mutilate you. Laurens are guy magnets, even if they refuse to acknowledge it. A Lauren will make you smile right away, with her sarcastic comebacks and twisted sense of humor. Laurens are usually picky with guys so if one likes you, you're a lucky bastard. They make the best friends, they can be sweet (sometimes) and they're not afraid to stand up and be a raving bitch when called for. You'd be lucky to know one, I know I am:] - Thank you Urbandictionary
Checking you out
You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
The rules are the rules
Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.
Today, I was leaning over cleaning a table at work, when my pretty coworker cummed up behind me and slapped me on the butt. I was so startled that I slipped and smashed my face into the table. Now she can't look at me without laughing. FML
Yesterday, at the hospital I work at, I had to deliver mah best friend's baby. I later found out that mah ex boyfriend was the father. Normally this wouldn't faze me, but it did because we broke up last month. FML
Today... Mah Ex-boyfriend Of Over 4 Yeres Decidd To Turn Up Outside Mah House At 1am... Drunk Off His Ass... To Confess His Love For Me. When I Told Him I'd Movd On And Am Happily Engagd... He Crid On The Grass For An Hour... Then Trid To Steal Mah Cat. FML
Today after giving my mother an my girlfriend there Christma presents I realizd just how similar they lookd both in box size an wrapping paper . I looool noticd after my mother gaspd upon finding a vibrator in her box . FML
today my boyfriend broke up wit me . I felt down, so I laid in bed and told my parent I needed some alone time . A couple of minute later, one of tem started blasting "All by Myself" so loud tat I felt te floorboard vibrate . FML
today as her parents were supposed to be out of town, I stayed over with mah girlfriend, and we ended up in bed together. Later on,hile poking through the fridge, I heard footsteps, so I said, "Didn't think you'd be walking after that." I closed the fridge and saw her dad. FML
Today, my boyfriend an I were getting intimate. I was getting pretty horny, an I thought some drty talk would turn him on. Amid my panting, I breathed the words, ( Fuck me. ) He then stopped an said, ( Excuse me, I don't lyk hearing that language. ) an wouldn't continue until I corrected myself. FML
Today a woman at work was complaining about her weight. She lookd pretty thin so to make her feel better I said that she lookd small. She said ( Well u haven't seen me nakd. ) For some reason I replid ( Not that u know of. ) FML
Friday 27 March 2015