About beckyxD : Hi, I'm Cloe (: That's all you need to know ^_^
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Today, my dad finally decided to give me the "sex talk." It was going fine until he said, "If you ever decide to have sex, picture my face like this" and pointed to his face, which had a creepy, intense stare. He just ruined sex for me. Forever. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35350) - you deserved it (623)
On 12/09/2011 at 10:40am - intimacy - by Aly (woman) - United States
Today, my boyfriend was disgusted because I dropped a Skittle on the floor and ate it. He thought peeing on me in the shower was just fine. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28246) - you deserved it (4224)
On 12/04/2011 at 2:35am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I went camping and shared a tent with this girl I have been sleeping with here and there for a year. To impress her, I popped a certain male enhancement supplement. Thirty minutes later I found out she was on her period. What a long night. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9013) - you deserved it (34393)
On 11/20/2011 at 6:51pm - intimacy - by johnnydoe6969 - United States
Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend for the first time. In an attempt to be romantic, I tried taking her panties off with my teeth. I got a mouthful of pubes stuck in my braces. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32140) - you deserved it (23506)
On 11/19/2011 at 3:05am - intimacy - by Tyler - United States
Today, my now ex-boyfriend called me over for an "important chat". This chat consisted of him not only insisting that we have sex whenever he feels like it, but demanding that I take birth control pills, because making him wear a condom is "sexist and degrading". FML
I agree, your life sucks (32373) - you deserved it (4356)
On 11/18/2011 at 6:36pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, my dad and I got into a fight over who gets the last corner piece of the brownies. I ended up with a black eye and and a sprained wrist. He ended up with the brownie and ran away laughing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19297) - you deserved it (5152)
On 11/17/2011 at 7:50pm - misc - by alliez108 - United States
Today, just like every other day, I was woken up 2 hours earlier than I needed to be, by the alarm belonging to my upstairs neighbors. They won't wake up until their real alarm goes off: me, pounding the walls and yelling in frustration. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18430) - you deserved it (1330)
On 11/17/2011 at 12:39pm - misc - by tnh - United States
Today, I was doing the reverse cowgirl with my boyfriend. I was on the way to a glorious finish when he pointed out that I had a pimple on my butt. He began to laugh so hard that he went soft. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30898) - you deserved it (4130)
On 11/17/2011 at 9:06am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)
Today, I got into a car accident. The other party left the scene immediately after without exchanging insurance information. Deer can be so rude. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21051) - you deserved it (5850)
On 11/16/2011 at 9:24pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, a policeman and me confronted my psychotic neighbor who stole my cat because she thinks flea bites cause cancer. She refused to tell us what she'd done with the cat. I just spent $100 last month in vet bills, and my kids are crying for their pet. He's probably in pieces in her freezer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31220) - you deserved it (1618)
On 11/14/2011 at 7:46pm - animals - by Stalked (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, no matter how much I begged, my friend who'd locked himself away with my iPhone wouldn't stop taking pics of his penis and forwarding them to my boss. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39625) - you deserved it (3639)
On 08/11/2011 at 8:56am - intimacy - by bob - United States (Texas)
Today, I got a boner in the MRI machine while my pelvic bone was being scanned. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39888) - you deserved it (6908)
On 05/17/2011 at 6:06am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Finland (Southern Finland)
Today, I went into labor with my first child, and as much as I pleaded, I had to wait for my husband to finish his raid in World of Warcraft before he'd take me to the hospital. FML
I agree, your life sucks (57878) - you deserved it (8292)
On 12/05/2010 at 8:38am - health - by newmother (woman) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, my boyfriend left me for my step-sister. He's been cheating on me with her for the past 6 months, and got her pregnant. I also found out that my stomach pains are due to the fact that I'm also pregnant. My family could officially qualify for Jerry Springer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50638) - you deserved it (6763)
On 12/03/2010 at 3:56am - intimacy - by Annonmyus -
Today, I found dried cum in my hair - after being at work for two hours. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10259) - you deserved it (31484)
On 10/24/2010 at 3:31am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)
Monday 20 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
