About beckyxD : Hi, I'm Cloe (: That's all you need to know ^_^
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beckyxD's favorite FMLs
Today, I was telling my co-workers about how I'd gotten tickets to a concert in a few days. My boss overheard. Later, he told me I now have to work on the night of the concert. However, he was kind enough to offer to buy the tickets off me for half of what I'd paid for them. FML
by working_as_usual / 10/07/2012 at 8:09pm / United States (California) / Work
Today, my boyfriend discovered that if he pulls out during doggy-style and rubs my clit with the tip of his penis, he will be rewarded with a queef. He found it hilarious and tested it out 5 more times. FML
by SoSexy / 10/07/2012 at 6:25am / United States (California) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 10/03/2012 at 12:29pm / United States (California) / Animals
Today, a guy I've been seeing for a while sent me a link to a porn site, with the message, "Holy fuck, isn't this your mom?!" Thinking he was joking around, I clicked the link just to see what sick shit he wanted to show me. It was my mom. FML
by identitychangeplease / 09/19/2012 at 4:41pm / Sweden (Stockholms Lan) / Intimacy
by GMD / 09/18/2012 at 4:20pm / United Kingdom (Belfast) / Health
Today, my sister walked into my room, saying her boyfriend "forgot something." She then reached under my bed and pulled out a pair of boxers and a condom wrapper. Her response to my disgust was, "My bed was dirty." FML
by useyourownbed / 09/18/2012 at 4:06pm / United States (Georgia) / Intimacy
by blueballs / 09/13/2012 at 8:06pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, I was out shopping, when I noticed a teenage girl with a double stroller picking up a pack of condoms. I couldn't help but mutter that it was a little late for those. A guy who must have been her boyfriend then stormed over and beat the shit out of me. FML
by killmenow / 09/10/2012 at 1:52pm / United States (Washington) / Intimacy
by chunkymonkey / 08/24/2012 at 9:53am / United States / Intimacy
Today, after my shift at the police station, I went on a date with a girl I recently met. We had a great date, that is until I opened the car door for her, and out of habit, pushed down on her head as she got in. FML
by thekriss / 08/23/2012 at 4:28pm / Love
Today, I finally had sex with my boyfriend. I had never gotten so far with a guy, so I was really nervous. He was careful, we tried different positions, "it was fun" and he came. I barely felt anything. FML
by Confused / 08/22/2012 at 12:33pm / Spain (Madrid) / Intimacy
by tal / 08/22/2012 at 5:57am / France / Animals
by ihateveganism / 08/22/2012 at 12:19am / United States (Rhode Island) / Intimacy
Today, my boyfriend and I broke up. I was pretty upset, so one of my guy friends offered to comfort me and get some ice cream. Apparently his definition of "comforting" is to feel my tits and try to get me to give him head. FML
by m / 08/21/2012 at 9:59pm / United States (Connecticut) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 08/20/2012 at 8:46pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Health
- Today, I’m on vacation in Peru in the Amazonian forest. I woke up in the middle of the night to the… Today, I’m in Sweden. This morning, I went out to get the mail in my pajamas. Well, it doesn’t only… Today, it’s exam day in Sweden. Yesterday, I prepared three fountain pens and six cartridges. The…