About beccaaaaaaaa : I'm 19 and I love to laugh which is why this site is a favorite of mine. I like people who can have fun, don't try to bring me down. I live for shark week and zombie movies. I like driving around with my friends having no idea where we're going. I love my cat more than I love most people, she's my lil booger :). I love tattoos.
“One day your life will flash before your eyes. Make sure it's worth watching.”
Who’s the fairest of them all?
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Today, I drank a fifth of vodka before I took my political science final. My professor later called me to tell me that I had written "Obama is a beautiful chocolate man" to every essay question. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8558) - you deserved it (66054)
On 12/09/2011 at 1:11am - misc - by blondie101 - United States
Today, I saw my neighbor's Christmas tree they had put up on their porch, with decorative presents under it. Being that my neighbors hate me, I figured I would take a present to piss them off. While walking back home with the present, I opened it. Inside it read "I knew you would, douche bag." FML
I agree, your life sucks (5889) - you deserved it (52571)
On 12/08/2011 at 10:35pm - misc - by lebato97 - United States (Louisiana)
Today, I found out that if a cop asks you if you have any weapons, and you reply by saying "only these guns" while flexing your biceps, they won't take it very well. And neither will the cops down at the station. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9216) - you deserved it (31795)
On 12/06/2011 at 12:24pm - misc - by Anonymous -
Today, my fiancé changed his text message tone to a fart noise. He thinks it's hilarious and laughs every time he gets a text. He's 35 years old. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18297) - you deserved it (6118)
On 08/30/2011 at 9:28pm - love - by AMP4U - United States (California)
Today, I was in a restroom sitting on the toilet, when the guy right next to me noticed my AC/DC boxers around my ankles and started to sing "Back in Black." FML
I agree, your life sucks (20000) - you deserved it (1310)
On 07/29/2011 at 10:27am - misc - by sofargone420 (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, my 4 year-old daughter's favorite expression became "shit balls." FML
I agree, your life sucks (24101) - you deserved it (11433)
On 07/28/2011 at 1:39am - kids - by anonymous - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I was helping clean my grandpa's garage when I found some of his old election posters from the '50s. They included slogans such as, "Dick: you know it feels right" and "Want growth? Choose Dick." I'm not sure whether to be disgusted or impressed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20611) - you deserved it (3169)
On 07/27/2011 at 1:32pm - misc - by Nick (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I had a completely normal work day. Other than the fact that my boss dressed up like the lead singer from KISS and hit us with a foam sword at random. My boss is 49. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21941) - you deserved it (4560)
On 07/19/2011 at 11:19am - work - by Bill Harrison - United States
Today, I jokingly told my girlfriend that sperm kills acne, she laughed and said "so that's how you got rid of yours so fast" then continued to text all her friends and tell them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11184) - you deserved it (31996)
On 07/03/2011 at 1:51am - intimacy - by fmylife7721 - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I introduced my first serious boyfriend to my mother over dinner. He is Asian. My mom insisted on calling him "Ching Chong". His name is Kevin. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43997) - you deserved it (3610)
On 06/30/2011 at 3:24am - misc - by asianlover (woman) - Finland (Western Finland)
Today, on the bus, a delusional old man had an extremely long conversation with me, referring to me as "Leslie" and talking about "our childhood together". Not wanting to hurt his feelings I played along. At his stop he got up and grinned at me, saying "I'm kidding. I never knew a Leslie in my life. Nice rack." FML
I agree, your life sucks (32649) - you deserved it (11852)
On 06/26/2011 at 2:12am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)
Today, my daughter was charged with multiple counts of vandalism and trespassing. It seems she's been sneaking out in the middle of the night, stealing and breaking our neighbors' lawn ornaments. Specifically garden gnomes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20611) - you deserved it (5216)
On 06/24/2011 at 5:22pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was working the drive-thru at McDonalds, and as I handed out a Diet coke to the customer, the man started growling and yelled "HULK SMASH!" He smashed the cup with two fists and drove off. I was drenched in soda. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29471) - you deserved it (3453)
On 06/24/2011 at 12:46am - work - by Sam (man) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I was given a new nickname at work due to my boss always confusing me with one of my co-workers who is taller than me. Someone suggested he just call us the same name to make it simpler, and the tall one would be big and the short one little. Everyone at my job now calls me Little Dick. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33226) - you deserved it (3323)
On 06/10/2011 at 4:09am - work - by lilben (man) - United States (California)
Today, my co-worker finally gave me a check for the money he owes me. In the memo line, he wrote "for swallowing". Now I have to go cash it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28257) - you deserved it (5101)
On 06/09/2011 at 12:01pm - intimacy - by Patrick R - United States (Texas)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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