[fr]
[it]
[es2]
[tr]
[de]
[ru]
[se]

Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick :
Categories :
Man or woman?
Email notification?

be4mylifefliesby

Search for a member

be4mylifefliesby
  • Town/Country : United States
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 979
  • Number of comments : 4
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

be4mylifefliesby's last visitors

FreezeArmaros

be4mylifefliesby's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

be4mylifefliesby's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out my boyfriend stacks things on me while I sleep. Apparently his record is 4 pillows, a textbook, and the cat. FML

#4330249 (358)

I agree, your life sucks (69511) - you deserved it (14725)

On 08/06/2009 at 7:11am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, it was my wedding day, and while I was standing next to my husband in front of all of our guests, I was rocking on my heels because I was nervous. I rocked too far and fell backward. My husband didn't come to help me up. He just said at the top of his lungs, "FAIL!" FML

#4219573 (237)

I agree, your life sucks (50436) - you deserved it (10399)

On 08/02/2009 at 12:21am - love - by thefailure (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I went on a rollercoaster for the first time. I sat in the back, which was a bad idea. When it ended everyone in front of me turned around and stared. When I asked my friend what was going on, she said I had been screaming the Lord's Prayer the whole time. I hadn't even noticed. FML

#3908348 (304)

I agree, your life sucks (27400) - you deserved it (18252)

On 07/20/2009 at 4:05pm - misc - by whyme_ss - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I took a call. Wrong number. A few seconds later, they called back and I told her that she had the wrong number. She said she just hit redial and didn't understand how she got me again. I tried to explain how redial works. She called me a moron and hung up. Then my phone rang again. FML

#1872793 (230)

I agree, your life sucks (75187) - you deserved it (3288)

On 05/12/2009 at 1:39pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I got dressed in what I thought was a really adorable outfit. I had a cute pink skirt on, a white tank top and silver strappy sandal heels. On my way to the mall a car pulls over and this guy asks me how much for three hours. FML

#1259995 (239)

I agree, your life sucks (22499) - you deserved it (53870)

On 04/23/2009 at 4:07pm - intimacy - by gabormelchior (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my hamster gave birth. The babies were very cute and I couldn't resist petting one. Apparently touching a baby hamster will cause it's mother to reject and devour it. I am now know in my family as "The Hamster Slaughterer." FML

#1177912 (247)

I agree, your life sucks (42285) - you deserved it (17348)

On 04/20/2009 at 11:11pm - animals - by whymommywhy (man) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I was driving home from school, when I saw this girl I like walking home. Trying to be polite, I pulled over and asked if she wanted a ride. After my offer, I was rejected as she said "No, I'm actually already home," and walked up the nearest driveway... MY driveway. FML

#1035901 (288)

I agree, your life sucks (63853) - you deserved it (4346)

On 04/16/2009 at 9:16pm - love - by Kelavmeister (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went to a bar with two guys I was interested in. The first I'd been trying to go out with all semester. The second I had gone to dinner with and he seemed nice. I was the designated driver. They drank too much and, on the way home, hooked up in the back seat. FML

#1014149 (140)

I agree, your life sucks (82420) - you deserved it (10069)

On 04/16/2009 at 4:40am - intimacy - by sad_gay (man) - United States (California)

Today, my mom and I went to Winn-Dixie. I told her I was going to a different isle 5 minutes later I hear my name on the intercom to go to the front of the store. As I go I see my mom crying, she comes and hugs me and tells me she thought I was lost. Im 22, I had my cell phone, and I drove there. FML

#992222 (252)

I agree, your life sucks (85564) - you deserved it (3783)

On 04/15/2009 at 2:38pm - misc - by SwimSquid (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, as I got down on one knee, and was in the middle of saying "Will you marry me?", she answered a text message. Apparently it was more important. FML

#932548 (149)

I agree, your life sucks (101568) - you deserved it (4865)

On 04/12/2009 at 5:41pm - love - by suckstobeme (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I made the mistake of sneezing in front of a hyper religious customer, who for ten minutes blamed the incident of shifting weather patterns that signaled the return of Jesus, who was as she explained, upset about the abortion rates in America and President Obama. FML

#867771 (150)

I agree, your life sucks (57810) - you deserved it (3407)

On 04/08/2009 at 6:26am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I ran over a squirrel. I saw it twitching so I backed over it to end its suffering. It wasn't a squirrel it was a kitten. The children it belonged to watched as I ran over their kitten. TWICE. FML

#859604 (176)

I agree, your life sucks (54970) - you deserved it (134477)

On 04/07/2009 at 8:11pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I got back my math test. Instead of taking the time to mark the mistakes, my professor just circled the bottom half of the page and wrote "OMG." FML

#853708 (244)

I agree, your life sucks (176) - you deserved it (18649)

On 04/07/2009 at 2:37pm - work - by aviators (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was going to have sex with my Hispanic boyfriend. I wanted to turn him on, so I asked my friend how to say "fuck me" in Spanish. She claimed it was 'pollo frito'. I then had sex, constantly screaming 'pollo frito' for an hour. I later realized I was screaming "fried chicken." FML

#837103 (577)

I agree, your life sucks (40708) - you deserved it (114334)

On 04/06/2009 at 3:51pm - intimacy - by FML.. (woman) - China (Hebei)

Today, on my flight to Vegas, I was wishing that a really cute guy would come sit in the seat next to mine. A few minutes later, a really cute guy sat in the seat next to me and even started to talk to me. When I said, "I like rugged men." he said "Oh ya, me too! I really like buff guys also." FML

#831202 (158)

I agree, your life sucks (53946) - you deserved it (8197)

On 04/06/2009 at 3:40am - love - by vela9002 (woman) - United States (California)