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Today, I was texting my boyfriend when he said, "Hold up." Thinking it'd be funny, I ran and grabbed my copy of the movie Up, and took a picture of me holding it and sent it to him. He replied, "Getting real tired of your shit." Then dumped me for my "dumb taste in humor." FML
I agree, your life sucks (53513) - you deserved it (11081)
On 05/31/2013 at 12:16am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Utah)
Today, my boyfriend "finally figured out" that he couldn't possibly be the father of my child, and publicly broke up with me. When I reminded him that I was already pregnant when we first met, he "extra" broke up with me for making him look stupid. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40481) - you deserved it (5890)
On 05/30/2013 at 11:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Louisiana)
Today, I found shit on my windshield. I'm not sure if it is human or animal, but it was conveniently smeared all over and even more was placed under my wipers just in case I used them to clean it up. This isn't the first time, and I have no idea who I could have pissed off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42733) - you deserved it (3366)
On 05/30/2013 at 5:41am - misc - by windshitwipers (man) - United States (Colorado)
Today, my parents yelled at me for 10 minutes without letting me get a word in edgeways for getting a 48 on my test. They took my phone, unplugged my internet, and took my car keys. They wouldn't listen no matter how many times I told them, "It was out of 50". It actually was. FML
I agree, your life sucks (59258) - you deserved it (2954)
On 05/29/2013 at 3:31am - misc - by :) - United States
Today, I had to eat up a few specks of toilet paper to avoid spoiling "the moment" with my girlfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51577) - you deserved it (10564)
On 05/29/2013 at 3:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)
Today, I was walking down the stairs with my guitar in hand, singing "I Don't Wanna Miss a Thing" to my wife. I sang, "I don't wanna close my eyes, I don't wanna fall". Before I could say "asleep", I fell down the stairs. My wife almost pissed her pants laughing. My bum hurts. FML
I agree, your life sucks (55613) - you deserved it (11979)
On 05/28/2013 at 12:37pm - love - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I was stuck home with a cold when my boyfriend's best friend sent me a text saying, "You doing alright?" I replied, thinking he was talking about my health. He replied, "I'm surprised you're taking the breakup so well." What breakup? Mine. He was ten minutes too soon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47572) - you deserved it (2267)
On 05/28/2013 at 4:09am - love - by really? (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was sending intimate pictures to my girlfriend and accidentally sent one to my best friend. He sent me one back. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44673) - you deserved it (26605)
On 05/28/2013 at 1:44am - intimacy - by Abrams52 (man) - United States (Indiana)
Today, my extremely religious father visited for a family dinner. My daughter had just one job: not to set him off on one of his easily-provoked rants. She nonetheless decided to take a photo in the middle of prayer, because she just HAD to Instagram her food. My father went apeshit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42853) - you deserved it (7613)
On 05/24/2013 at 12:40pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Brazil (Rio de Janeiro)
Today, my friends and I were talking about the creepy stranger that used to stalk me back in high school. I guess his looks changed a lot through the years because I found out that he's my current boyfriend of 4 months. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50260) - you deserved it (15457)
On 05/24/2013 at 10:00am - love - by datgirl92 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I realized my family is the textbook definition of redneck after listening to my grandpa threaten to smash with an excavator the trailer that my uncle lives in behind our house if he didn't return the set of tires he had stolen and pawned from my grandpa's garage. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30824) - you deserved it (2711)
On 05/24/2013 at 3:06am - misc - by redneckfamily - United States (Washington)
Today, I have to defend my client in court. The defense that my client wants me to use is, "It's not a robbery if you have swag" and then goes on saying, "The judge is bound to let me go after he sees my swag." FML
I agree, your life sucks (48611) - you deserved it (3736)
On 05/22/2013 at 9:57pm - work - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I went for a walk. When it started pouring, I ran under the nearest tree for protection. It didn't occur to me that it might look suspicious hiding under a stranger's tree in a black hoodie, until the cops showed up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35046) - you deserved it (4783)
On 05/19/2013 at 7:07pm - misc - by black hoodie - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I brought my girlfriend home for the first time to meet my parents. They were having a heated argument because my mom had bought "the wrong toilet paper" and my dad was angry because "she should know that he has a sensitive anus". FML
I agree, your life sucks (43209) - you deserved it (2799)
On 05/17/2013 at 11:52am - misc - by Sonofa - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I attended a cooking class with my co-workers. As the chef prepared to cut up a load of onions for his dish, he warned us to be ready for the "typical reactions". Everyone teared up. Meanwhile, I popped a boner. So much for typical. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40509) - you deserved it (6828)
On 05/16/2013 at 4:54pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)
Monday 17 June 2013
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