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Today, I wanted to take a nice hot relaxing bath. A wasp somehow got in, and stung me on the nuts. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22530) - you totally deserved it (2462)
On 11/26/2009 at 11:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, I got a red light camera ticket for $100 in the mail. After checking the date and time, I realized it was from when I was rear ended into the intersection while STOPPED at a red light. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27941) - you totally deserved it (973)
On 10/05/2009 at 7:11am - misc - by corfan01 (woman) - United States (Indiana)
Today, I decided to smoke in my car on the way to school. As I went to ash it out the window, one of the embers flew back into car landing in my eye. Turns out the excruciating pain was my contact lense melting to my cornea. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10073) - you totally deserved it (33345)
On 08/22/2009 at 5:10am - misc - by Shootme (man) - United States (Arizona)
Today, I was at my school's spaghetti dinner with my family. My brother shook up my mom's soda, as a prank. My entire class witnessed my mom waving around an overflowing Diet Coke while my dad yelled, "Come on, put your mouth on it! Suck it! Suck it, Kathy!!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (43183) - you totally deserved it (2313)
On 08/18/2009 at 3:20pm - misc - by gbhlaughingstock (man) - United States
Today, I was very sick and kept throwing up. I took a shower after every time I threw up. While in the shower after I threw up, I had to throw up again, so I got out and ran to the toilet. I slipped on the tile, broke my nose on the floor, and then threw up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37580) - you totally deserved it (5977)
On 08/15/2009 at 3:51am - health - by Ouch (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I found out that my parents are first cousins. FML
I agree, your life sucks (64629) - you totally deserved it (2032)
On 08/15/2009 at 12:33am - misc - by jellybean_94 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my ex got dumped by his girlfriend. Seeing my opportunity I sent him a song I wrote for him about how much I still love him. He sent it on to the girl who had just dumped him claiming he had written it. They are back together. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40973) - you totally deserved it (13102)
On 08/12/2009 at 7:18am - love - by sadsongstress (woman) - Belgium (Brabant)
Today, I crashed my car. I saw a deer getting ready to run into the middle of the road, and I was very sleepy, so I panicked and slammed on the breaks, causing me to lose control of the car on the wet road. After I hit a tree, I realized that the deer was a plastic lawn ornament. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11793) - you totally deserved it (27228)
On 08/12/2009 at 2:49am - misc - by Bambi (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I finally told my mom I am a lesbian. She started laughing and said 'Good one honey'. I told her I wasn't joking, and she took my face in her hands and said 'You ARE joking!' Then she left. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45432) - you totally deserved it (5594)
On 08/12/2009 at 12:44am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)
Today I was in the car for 8 hours driving home from North Carolina with my family. We brought my dog along and I pet her for most of the ride. I thought she fell asleep, so I continued to play with her. She never woke up. I played with a dead dog for almost an hour and a half. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43111) - you totally deserved it (2171)
On 08/12/2009 at 12:13am - misc - by jennabean (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, my cousin came over. I left my iPod on shuffle in the room we were in as I left to go to the bathroom. When I came back she was jamming out to "My Dick" by Mickey Avalon. She won't stop singing it and her mom is coming over to pick her up in an hour. She's 4. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8798) - you totally deserved it (25916)
On 08/11/2009 at 11:34pm - kids - by SomeDJ (man) - United States (Arizona)
Today, I had to go to the police station to pick up my 42 year old dad. Why? He was caught stealing candy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39357) - you totally deserved it (1392)
On 08/11/2009 at 11:07pm - kids - by ahhahaha (man) - United States (New Mexico)
Today, my boyfriend sent me a text saying to call him. When I did, it went straight to voicemail. It was a recording of him breaking up with me. He broke up with me over the phone, without even talking to me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39147) - you totally deserved it (1397)
On 08/11/2009 at 10:05pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I felt inspired to create a photo album of myself through the years. As I was organizing the photos of my childhood, I noticed how many my mom was holding me and hugging me in. When she came home from work I jokingly asked, "When did you start hating me?" She replied, "When you were 4". FML
I agree, your life sucks (28827) - you totally deserved it (3281)
On 08/11/2009 at 9:43pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (Virginia)
Today, I was delivering packages as usual for work. I was dropping of a large letter to a hot girl. Before I turned to leave the girl opened her mouth to say something. Instead, she just vomited all over me. Her letter was my first delivery of the day. I had to finish my job covered in puke. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25339) - you totally deserved it (958)
On 08/11/2009 at 7:15pm - work - by FedExMan (man) - United States (Maryland)
