About bballforward33 : Heyy my names tyler im pretty fucking swag if you ask me i like most people but a lot of people i dont. Message me! We can be friends!
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Back from a party
An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
bballforward33's favorite FMLs
by ewww / 07/30/2011 at 10:07am / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous
by FML / 07/29/2011 at 12:20am / United States (Indiana) / Intimacy
Today, my husband threw out all of the spices in the cupboard. When I asked him why he said, "Our cat was named Spicy and I can't stand to look at them." Our recently deceased cat's name was Dicey. FML
by Tali / 07/28/2011 at 2:18am / Australia (Queensland) / Animals
by MaHalKiTa / 07/23/2011 at 3:49am / United States (California) / Geek
Today, after watching Insidious, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to scare me while I was on the toilet. I was in mid-piss when he jumped out at me, and I ran screaming and peeing down the hall. FML
by toni405 / 07/21/2011 at 5:24pm / United States / Love
by sbutler / 07/14/2011 at 4:14pm / United States (Florida) / Work
Today, I couldn't shut a drawer in my kitchen, because an oven mitt was blocking it. An oven mitt filled with tin-foil wrapped electronics. My Mom believes Internet hackers can get into her digital camera and prepaid cell phone, and apparently tin-foil will prevent that. FML
by BelleCharmante / 07/14/2011 at 12:50am / United States (North Carolina) / Geek
Today, I was invited over to a dinner with the CEOs of my company, along with my two children. My 3 year-old asked loudly why we have two "nose holes", to which my 4 year-old son replied "So you can pick your nose and still breathe!" He then demonstrated. FML
by ohno / 07/13/2011 at 12:43am / United States (Colorado) / Kids
by Lame / 07/09/2011 at 8:19pm / United States (New York) / Money
Today, I'd just finished cleaning the bathrooms at work when I saw a young boy go in. Of course, I thought nothing of it until I had to use the bathroom myself ten minutes later. The kid had taken a shit and missed the toilet completely. FML
by Anonymous / 07/08/2011 at 3:43pm / United States (South Carolina) / Work
Today, I went into hospital for knee surgery. When I awoke, I was surprised to find a bandage wrapped around my throbbing head. The nurse explained that a student observer had fainted in the operating room and his head had smashed against mine on the way down. FML
by Anonymous / 07/08/2011 at 11:46am / Belgium (Liege) / Health
by Anonymous / 06/27/2011 at 9:55am / United States (New York) / Intimacy
Today, on the bus, a delusional old man had an extremely long conversation with me, referring to me as "Leslie" and talking about "our childhood together". Not wanting to hurt his feelings I played along. At his stop he got up and grinned at me, saying "I'm kidding. I never knew a Leslie in my life. Nice rack." FML
by Anonymous / 06/26/2011 at 2:12am / United States (Indiana) / Transportation
by chaoticnh / 06/24/2011 at 5:57am / Austria / Health
Today, I was working the drive-thru at McDonalds, and as I handed out a Diet coke to the customer, the man started growling and yelled "HULK SMASH!" He smashed the cup with two fists and drove off. I was drenched in soda. FML
by Sam / 06/24/2011 at 12:46am / Canada (Alberta) / Work
- Today, my girlfriend asked me to take my belt off as the buckle was hurting her leg. I didn't have… Today, was the first time I had sex with a guy I really like. I took off my shirt and my bra and he… Today, I had to feed an elderly man in the care home in which I work while he was whacking off. Our…