Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

bazingabitches

Search for a member

bazingabitches
  • Town/Country : Canada
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2655
  • Number of comments : 68
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About bazingabitches : Hey! I'm just a regular girl, I like hetalia and black butler and big bang theory. I'm a major Harry potter nerd/band nerd. Bassoon for the win! :) I'm a condescending bitch, but I don't mean to be, so if I offend you I apologize. If you want to know anything else message me! I don't bite.... Maybe.

bazingabitches's last visitors

KatiekhalifaSmokeyBear420xthundergoatThriceWrittenlildiva4lifetrosie2

bazingabitches's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

See all of bazingabitches's badges

bazingabitches's favorite FMLs

Today, I finally handed my girlfriend a portrait of her. I'm not the best drawer, but I spent weeks on it and I thought it turned out pretty good. When she looked at it, she asked what kind of dog was it. FML

#20900272
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40197) - you deserved it (4705)

On 09/29/2013 at 9:00am - love - by Laserbeaver (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, at work, a lady came in to have her glasses fixed. When she opened her case, an earwig crawled out. Instead of trying to kill it, she just left it and watched as it crawled over my desk and behind my computer. I later found the earwig in my hair. FML

#20899979
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39765) - you deserved it (4372)

On 09/29/2013 at 12:16am - work - by browngirl - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was insulted and harassed by my sister and her boyfriend, all because I proposed yesterday. They were angry I might get married before they did. They have known each other since primary school; I met my fiancée earlier this year. FML

#20897826
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40581) - you deserved it (5870)

On 09/27/2013 at 8:51am - love - by propose_you_freakin_coward (man) - Singapore

Today, my grandma threw away my clear retainer thinking it was plastic from packaging. She has done this three times now. They cost 300 dollars to replace. FML

Today, I started my new job at a restaurant I really like. As I waited on my first customer, I suggested that he try the apple pie, because it's my favourite. He looked up at me and said, "Yeah? Figures! Lay off 'em, porky!" FML

#20891546
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40401) - you deserved it (4964)

On 09/22/2013 at 2:00pm - work - by -_- (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, being the prank couple that we are, I decided to mess with my husband. When he got off work, I said, "The lady from your office called and said she was pregnant. From you." He immediately broke down crying, and said, "I knew it." Turns out, my fetus already has a sibling. FML

#20889450
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57637) - you deserved it (4792)

On 09/20/2013 at 9:30pm - intimacy - by oops - United States (Texas)

Today, I took my girlfriend home to meet my parents. My dad was having a bad day and was rude from the outset, but things went to total hell when he started screaming that he'd "kill" our microwave if it didn't "shut the hell up". My girlfriend now thinks we're a family of abusive psychos. FML

#20887758
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36581) - you deserved it (2736)

On 09/19/2013 at 1:32pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I came home to find that my house had been broken into. After assessing the loss, I saw a taunting note on the fridge saying, "Locks work best when the door's SHUT." My housekeeper had apparently left the door wide open. FML

#20885188
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41749) - you deserved it (3406)

On 09/17/2013 at 1:23pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, I had to explain to my grandfather that Canadians aren't evil by reminding him that he's Canadian. FML

#20885056
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35293) - you deserved it (2350)

On 09/17/2013 at 10:21am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I met my birth mother. My dad won't talk to me, my mom won't stop crying and thinks I'm replacing her, and the rest of my family won't stop calling me a bitch. I'm 21, and I just wanted to meet the woman who pushed me head-first out of her vagina. FML

Today, it's my wedding day. Almost a year ago I was in a terrible car accident that nearly left me paralyzed, but I worked my ass off to be able to walk down the aisle. After a lot of blood, sweat, and tears I made it to the big day... and woke up with food poisoning. FML

#20883990
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59981) - you deserved it (2631)

On 09/16/2013 at 5:11pm - health - by somethingblue - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was talking to my husband about our favorite TV show, when he took my face in his hands and sweetly whispered, "You're so pretty. Why must you ruin it with words?" FML

#20880791
102 comments

Today, I asked a friend to hang out. I'm so used to people saying no, that when she said yes I burst into tears and had a panic attack. FML

#20880509
116 comments

Today, I was playing World of Warcraft, when all of a sudden, I remembered I was supposed to be at a wedding. I was 25 minutes late to my own wedding. FML

#20880446
280 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20297) - you deserved it (83338)

On 09/14/2013 at 1:23am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, while out jogging with my mom, we saw my boyfriend walking in our direction. When we reached him, he took one look at my makeup-less face, then made a huge show of screaming in disgust before calmly walking away. FML

#20880120
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43547) - you deserved it (4782)

On 09/13/2013 at 8:37pm - misc - by -___- (woman) - Canada (Quebec)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: