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Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Today, my girlfriend dumped me for cheating on her. Her "proof" was an image of me making out with a girl. Pretty damning, except she loaded it up in Photoshop, where I saw the image layers she'd used to fake the whole thing. I'm not sure what the hell she was thinking either. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47719) - you deserved it (2760)
On 05/02/2013 at 8:16pm - love - by psycho ex (man) - Brazil
Today, I woke up to my cat giving birth, on my bed. I adopted her from a friend, who told me she was spayed. Now I have a giant mess and a cat who won't let me move either her or her babies. Guess I'm sleeping on the couch for a while. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27434) - you deserved it (3418)
On 03/21/2013 at 2:42pm - animals - by DommeAshlee - South Africa (KwaZulu-Natal)
Today, my pet parrot learned a new trick. In addition to imitating my dog, and my voice when I call my mother, it can now imitate my sex noises, and likes to screech them whenever someone comes into the room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20403) - you deserved it (6221)
On 03/12/2013 at 12:43am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my 4-year-old daughter couldn't sleep, crying that her teddy bear wants to eat her. My husband thought it would be funny to put the bear right in front of her face while she slept. She's now terrified to sleep anywhere but in our bed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26475) - you deserved it (5283)
On 03/11/2013 at 7:32pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland
Today, I finally got a tattoo of an alchemy symbol that I've wanted for years. I also found out later that symbol stands for urine. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6857) - you deserved it (32956)
Today, my boyfriend drove me back home. My dad was sitting on the porch in his underwear, with his shotgun in his lap. He stroked the gun, looked my boyfriend dead in the eyes, and slowly shook his head. Now my boyfriend refuses to see me for his own safety. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28405) - you deserved it (2529)
On 03/10/2013 at 6:37pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, when I got home, my child had three bruises. My babysitter's excuse? "She hit me first". FML
I agree, your life sucks (40928) - you deserved it (3966)
Today, my girlfriend accused me of being a feeder, saying that's why she's been putting on so much weight. When I said it might be because she eats at McDonalds everyday, and that I was willing to start cooking low-calorie foods for us, she hit me. Then she went to McDonalds. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34466) - you deserved it (3197)
On 03/10/2013 at 12:03pm - love - by Raiden (man) - United Kingdom (Barnsley)
Today, my boyfriend and I were on my bed when things started getting hot and it began to shake. My little sister called the entire family to the hall to listen to "the frogs in the wall". FML
I agree, your life sucks (14374) - you deserved it (31116)
On 03/10/2013 at 3:41am - intimacy - by lolk - United States (Arkansas)
Today, I'm 5 months pregnant. My 20-year-old boyfriend still refuses to tell his parents because he thinks he'll get in trouble. He thinks we can get away with "never telling them and just hiding the kid." FML
I agree, your life sucks (31769) - you deserved it (6925)
On 03/09/2013 at 12:42pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Pakistan
Today, after about fifteen minutes of my cat bullying me into letting him get onto my lap, I finally caved. He clambered on, turned around, farted in my direction and got off as fast as he got on. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26884) - you deserved it (6440) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 03/08/2013 at 9:13am - animals - by orely44 - France (Pays de la Loire)
Today, I had to help my little sister do a first-grade project for school. For one part, they have to draw a picture of their role model. She drew a whale, and I asked, "A whale is your role model?" She laughed and said, "No! It's you!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (29557) - you deserved it (3752)
On 03/05/2013 at 3:19pm - kids - by peace out - United States (South Carolina)
Today, I gave birth to my daughter in a hospital corridor. The nurse who took me to my room afterward tried to comfort me by saying there've been worse incidents; she said that two years ago, a lady gave birth in the parking lot. That was me too. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46766) - you deserved it (3143) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 02/25/2013 at 2:47pm - health - by laprochainefoisjerestealamaison (woman) - France (Languedoc-Roussillon)
Today, I took my child to the park. Having been there an hour, another mum came up to me and we started talking. She then told me that one kid had been harassing her children, pointing to my child. When she asked which one was mine I pointed to a random kid. It was hers. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12270) - you deserved it (32722)
Today, I confronted my 18-year-old daughter about her excessively lengthy showers. She said she didn't see the big deal, considering the water "comes free with the house." No dear, it doesn't. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27800) - you deserved it (3900)
On 12/22/2012 at 6:29pm - kids - by Jane (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Monday 17 June 2013
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