About batgirlsalterego : Living the dream
50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Judgmental
You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.
It’s in the can
Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
Today, I sprained my wrist playing Guitar Hero. The ER doctor called all of his coworkers in to hear my story. They all laughed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15225) - you deserved it (34174)
On 06/16/2009 at 12:43pm - misc - by Slash (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I tried to take off my girlfriend's bra. When I finally unhooked it, it snapped back and hit me in the eye. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39409) - you deserved it (18841)
On 06/14/2009 at 5:37pm - intimacy - by HatedbyBras (man) - Netherlands
Today, as a prank, my friends put a big bucket of water on my door so that it would spill on me as I exited my room. It would have been funny if I hadn't been holding my $900 laptop as I was walking out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47506) - you deserved it (1906)
On 06/14/2009 at 3:14pm - work - by Dominic (man) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, at school, I was trying to pee in the stall, but I couldn't. I repeatedly pushed my bladder. Unfortunately, I didn't realize a number of thing. My stall was open, I made noises from frustration, and I looked like I was jacking off. When I gave up, somebody clapped and yelled, "FINALLY!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (12021) - you deserved it (35061)
On 06/14/2009 at 11:54am - intimacy - by Bes (man) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, my adorable 8 year old son told me he no longer wanted me to pick him up from school. When I asked why, he said, "I told everyone at school my mommy is pretty... and I don't want people to know I lied." FML
I agree, your life sucks (72373) - you deserved it (3160)
On 06/14/2009 at 1:42am - kids - by andthatshowitgoes (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, as my boyfriend and I were messing around in his room he took off my underwear. As he was about to go down on me I spread my legs to help out then he looked up at me and said, "You got some toilet paper left behind." FML
I agree, your life sucks (32321) - you deserved it (45548)
On 06/14/2009 at 12:14am - intimacy - by BarbieKen (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Today, I was volunteering at a zoo event for special needs kids. My job was to dress up in a kangaroo costume and greet the kids. One kid came up and said "You're not real!" and kicked me in the nuts. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43643) - you deserved it (3373)
On 06/13/2009 at 10:42am - kids - by Hackmanjones (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my crush came to my house to watch movies with me. We were sitting on the couch when he turned to me and said that he had had a dream about me the night before. I moved in to kiss him, thinking he liked me. He then added that I had fallen of a cliff and he had pissed himself laughing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42177) - you deserved it (4509)
On 06/13/2009 at 7:01am - love - by Mojo_Jojo (woman) - China (Beijing)
Today, my crush came to my house to watch movies with me. We were sitting on the couch when he turned to me and said that he had had a dream about me the night before. I moved in to kiss him, thinking he liked me. He then added that I had fallen of a cliff and he had pissed himself laughing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42177) - you deserved it (4509)
On 06/13/2009 at 7:01am - love - by Mojo_Jojo (woman) - China (Beijing)
Today, I made a patient really happy. I work in a long term care facility and was changing a woman's diaper. While cleaning her, I somehow managed to give her an orgasm with a warm wash cloth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (58515) - you deserved it (3231)
On 06/13/2009 at 2:40am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I was smoking in my car and flicked the butt... into the face of a cop on a motorcycle going the other way. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8688) - you deserved it (52613)
On 06/13/2009 at 12:09am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I was cleaning out my fiancé's room while he was away so we could move into our new home. Not only did I find a few gay nudie mags, but also some interesting love letters from a nice man named Pablo. Apparently I need to do a lot more than cleaning his room to excite him. Like grow a penis. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53990) - you deserved it (3000)
On 06/12/2009 at 8:10pm - love - by vickyxanne (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I wanted to use my gift card for a liquor store. I went to pay the cashier, who said he needed to see my license. I gave it to him as well as my gift card. After paying, he asked me if I wanted him to cut it up, since the card was now worth $0. I said yes. He cut the wrong card. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46175) - you deserved it (3002)
On 06/12/2009 at 7:35pm - misc - by bryans_fresh (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, a man came up to me at the bus stop. He went into this long story about how his girlfriend is pregnant and they both haven't eaten in days. Trying to be tough and funny I said back, "sounds like you should invest in condoms instead of food." He responded by beating and robbing me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17259) - you deserved it (62247)
On 06/12/2009 at 4:45pm - money - by beatenbyabum (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, In my science class I sit next to my friend Jill. My teacher always gets our names confused calling me Jill and her Liz. She decided to combine our names. I'm now known as Jizz. My teacher clearly has no idea what it means. FML
I agree, your life sucks (113473) - you deserved it (6693)
On 06/12/2009 at 2:50pm - misc - by mcullen21 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Monday 20 May 2013
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