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Today, I woke up to a loud grinding noise. I followed the noise to the kitchen, where I found my boyfriend shoving my iPhone down the garbage disposal. When I asked him why he did it, he said "It wouldn't stop staring at me." FML
I agree, your life sucks (12152) - you totally deserved it (1623)
On 03/19/2010 at 4:08am - misc - by no_phone (woman) - United States (Idaho)
Today, I spent 7 hours in the emergency room because of high blood pressure, headaches and having trouble breathing. My doctor also said that I have an irregular heart beat. So after 7 hours my doctor sent me home because according to him, "We have no idea how to help you." FML
I agree, your life sucks (10944) - you totally deserved it (1064)
On 03/19/2010 at 1:56am - health - by Joey - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I lost my phone. I tried to call it using my husband's phone, but couldn't figure out which of the three Kates in the contact list was me. Turns out, two are co-workers and one is his aunt. I was listed under Satan. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14957) - you totally deserved it (2718)
On 03/15/2010 at 7:22pm - love - by Satan (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, my dad asked me if I could convince my mother to get a Brazillian wax. If that's not bad enough, my mother heard and yelled from the other room, "I like my furball." FML
I agree, your life sucks (4315) - you totally deserved it (465)
On 03/13/2010 at 5:35am - intimacy - by Grossed Out - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I tried to demonstrate to my friend how laughably dull our kitchen knives are by swiping one across my palm. Turns out Dad noticed the problem yesterday and sharpened them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3811) - you totally deserved it (22723)
On 03/11/2010 at 3:13am - misc - by ShowOff (woman) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)
Today, I found out what people really think about the beard I've been proudly growing for over a month. It appears that my face now looks like an unshaven ballsack. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3862) - you totally deserved it (11394)
On 03/10/2010 at 10:00am - misc - by RyanM (man) - France (Languedoc-Roussillon)
Today, my parents took my laptop, cut the Internet, took my car keys, the tv and removed my bedroom door. Why? Because they thought the plant I was growing for my science project was a marijuana plant. Oh yeah and they took that too. My presentation is tomorrow. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17487) - you totally deserved it (943)
On 03/10/2010 at 3:39am - misc - by Kevin - Canada (Manitoba)
Today, I got fired from my job as a postman, which I started yesterday. They fired me because I failed to deliver a bunch of papers to a road that no longer exists. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15557) - you totally deserved it (972)
On 03/09/2010 at 2:41pm - work - by pat (man) - United Kingdom (Nottingham)
Today, I dropped my physics class because I thought I bombed the 50% second midterm test. I got my results an hour after dropping online. I finished with an 83. I can't get back into the course. FML
I agree, your life sucks (2506) - you totally deserved it (27079)
On 03/09/2010 at 1:42pm - love - by mizzleshizzle - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was making out with my boyfriend. He suddenly pulls away, and goes, 'OMNOMNOMNOM' then continues kissing me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9510) - you totally deserved it (9752)
On 03/09/2010 at 1:43am - love - by anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I got on an empty tram and decided to sit at the back. A few minutes in I start to hear a noise and thinking it was the tram, decided to ignore it. When I heard what sounded like an evil giggle, I looked around to see that it wasn't the tram, but it was some creepy middle aged man taking photos of me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13023) - you totally deserved it (843)
On 03/07/2010 at 11:29am - misc - by tramrider - United Kingdom (Greater London)
Today, I found out how mature the guy I'm seeing is. After sex, he took the condom off and hit me in the face with it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4350) - you totally deserved it (1398)
On 03/07/2010 at 9:08am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Manchester)
Today, I went to Starbucks to use the bathroom. After I knocked on the door, and turned the handle, this little old lady rips the door open and goes "I WAS TAKING A DUMP. YOU WANNA COME IN AND WIPE MY SHIT? DO YOU?!" and then continued to ask me the same question for five minutes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14131) - you totally deserved it (1577)
On 03/06/2010 at 9:38pm - misc - by bathroomblunder (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)
Today, my six year old daughter cut out the stomach area of four of my favorite shirts. When I asked her why she had done so she replied, "So that they fit your tummy better, Mommy." FML
I agree, your life sucks (13525) - you totally deserved it (2542)
On 03/06/2010 at 8:05am - kids - by Fatty (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I walked into Mcdonalds to get a meal. I saw the donation box and felt generous so put some money in. Instead of putting a $5 note I put a $100 note. I asked if they could open it to get it back. They didn't have a key. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4451) - you totally deserved it (13529)
On 03/05/2010 at 8:55pm - money - by Aboriginal (man) - Australia (South Australia)
