Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

baseballplaya5

Search for a member

baseballplaya5

1Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 20 May 1996 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2953
  • Number of comments : 83
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About baseballplaya5 : Gonna be a marine after high school, wanna know more email me jeff.shachory@yahoo.com

baseballplaya5's page activity

Visits<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 02/26/2015 at 3:10pm<b>klutzyduck1</b> - the 02/16/2015 at 2:04am<b>Derpet</b> - the 10/05/2014 at 9:21am<b>minesbiggerr</b> - the 09/10/2014 at 4:41pm<b>deuceswild</b> - the 09/02/2014 at 10:26am<b>justaguynl</b> - the 08/19/2014 at 5:01pm<b>Yogibob</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 8:00am<b>MurderBlack</b> - the 06/16/2014 at 2:38pm<b>sexaybitch</b> - the 06/14/2014 at 4:21pm<b>iedsrduan</b> - the 06/14/2014 at 3:23pm<b>why_teh_hell</b> - the 05/22/2014 at 1:59am<b>cluch3</b> - the 05/20/2014 at 9:27am<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/26/2014 at 10:06am<b>greeneyebeauty9</b> - the 03/04/2014 at 12:03am<b>Ohthatsnasty</b> - the 12/27/2013 at 1:02am<b>ThatSlappinBass</b> - the 12/21/2013 at 10:26am<b>Thursdayxo</b> - the 10/18/2013 at 10:39pm<b>Usuario</b> - the 08/25/2013 at 1:30pm

Liked!<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 02/26/2015 at 9:10pm

baseballplaya5's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

See all of baseballplaya5's badges

baseballplaya5's favorite FMLs

Today, mah dad cussed out an individual on the phone because he thought it was a telemarketer. He was mah Indian grlfriend's looool father. FML

#15377212
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39731) - you deserved it (4511)

On 03/19/2011 at 1:37am - misc - by dollarstorepwnr (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Yesterday, someone rear-ended me while I was on my way home!! I was extremely upset and I called my boyfriend 4 comfort and to help inspect the damage!! After taking a good look at the car, he said, "Damn, if only u fucked this hard." FML

#15366691
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34728) - you deserved it (8966)

On 03/18/2011 at 12:11pm - intimacy - by emm (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I have a cat with separation anxiety. By this, I meanhenever I go in another room an shut the door with her outside, she uses her head as a battering ram to try an break down the door. It's fun trying to sleep too. FML

#15366508
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30796) - you deserved it (6002)

On 03/18/2011 at 11:54am - animals - by nosleeptilpissoff (man) - United States (Minnesota)

today I was spending Saint Patrick's Day with my grlfriend hen she started pinching me fir wearing green . To my complete shock hen she pinched my nipple I got the biggest most noticeable erection I've ever had in my life and no matter wat I did it wouldn't go away . We were in public . FML

#15355329
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45211) - you deserved it (8853)

On 03/17/2011 at 6:38pm - intimacy - by Mr. Sensitive Nips - United States (Texas)

Today, my crush gave me a ride home. When I opened the door to get out, he switched the gear to reverse, thinking the car was in park. I got run over by the car door. FML

#15354612
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30898) - you deserved it (3418)

On 03/17/2011 at 5:26pm - misc - by boom - United States (Maryland)

mah boyfriend was going down on me. I started to moan right when I was about to climax. He got worried... stopped and asked... "Are you okay?!" FML

#15336474
294 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47552) - you deserved it (8287)

On 03/16/2011 at 12:50pm - intimacy - by thisblows - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I had a violent coughing fit while at the store, which causd a lady to think I was choking, grab me from behind an start doing the Heimlich maneuver incorrectly. She broke two of my ribs. FML

#15334781
293 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44482) - you deserved it (3584)

On 03/16/2011 at 8:53am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, the dog went nuts at 3am. I serechd the yard with a spotlight and machete. Nothing. He may actually just be an asshole. FML

#15184049
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25660) - you deserved it (5825)

On 03/03/2011 at 6:20am - animals - by panda -

Today, I was busily having fun with my girlfriend, when suddenly the bedroom door opened and a man walked in, picked me up, and threw me outside the apartment. I was naked and didn't even know she was into men, much less had a husband. FML

#14961230
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44111) - you deserved it (9015)

On 02/13/2011 at 5:32pm - intimacy - by Katrina (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Yesterday,ile in a public restroom I could ear a guy aving is way wit is and. He was quoting verses from te bible. I was in a cubicle and e was at te urinal. I was too frigtened to leave. Tis went on for a very long time. FML

#14234444
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34922) - you deserved it (3170)

On 12/17/2010 at 11:05am - intimacy - by biblewanker - Australia

yesterday my six year old told me I have a big nose. When I told her that she hurt my feelings, she laughed and said "Don't be silly mummy, ugly people don't have feelings." FML

#14199055
294 comments

I agree, your life sucks (118267) - you deserved it (16002)

On 12/14/2010 at 3:21am - kids - by uglywoman - Australia (Queensland)

Today,hila working as sacurity fir a football gama, I told a woman sha wasn't allowd to bring har snickars bar into tha stadium bacausa no outsida food was allowd in. Sha thraw it at mah faca than trid to spit on ma. I hata paopla. FML

#13876582
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32104) - you deserved it (7140)

On 11/17/2010 at 1:02pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Taday I let mah friend use mah computer to download some music. Now, mah computer has 6 vruses and 4 songs, all of which I hate. FML

#13764337
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11797) - you deserved it (22867)

On 11/08/2010 at 12:11pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

today my 5 year old son and I went out. As I was looking in te window display of a sop, I turned around to witness my son pooping in an open manole on te street. big fat FML

#13718140
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28592) - you deserved it (8651)

On 11/04/2010 at 7:54pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was waiting to take a dump in a gas station restroom. A 300 pound man walked out, shook his head, and said ( I'm sorry ) to me. FML

#13675906
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33607) - you deserved it (3240)

On 11/01/2010 at 3:39pm - misc - by mr_p - United States (Illinois)



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: