About baseballplaya5 : Gonna be a marine after high school, wanna know more email me jeff.shachory@yahoo.com
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Today, during our championship field hockey game, my mouthguard fell into a mass of geese poop. The referee made me put it back in my mouth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41356) - you deserved it (3119)
On 09/24/2009 at 6:10pm - work - by ewewew (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my boyfriend gave me a poem saying "Roses are red, violets are blue, rubbish is dumped and so are you." FML
I agree, your life sucks (39743) - you deserved it (2958)
On 09/14/2009 at 5:41am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - South Africa (Gauteng)
Today, my whole family was sitting in the kitchen. My sister was stoned and passed out in our dog's bed. My dad was drunk, yelling "who's your daddy" at his plate of barbecue, and my mom just sat there with that, "what the hell happened to my life" look on her face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53013) - you deserved it (2692)
On 09/13/2009 at 5:27am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)
Today, my boyfriend decided it would be hot to get it on in the gym storage room at school. Apparently so did my Chemistry and Drama teachers. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19000) - you deserved it (5513)
On 09/08/2009 at 6:08pm - intimacy - by TRAMATIZED (woman) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I was walking with my boyfriend down the street and a really hot guy walked past with no shirt on. While distracted by his hardened stomach muscles, I promptly walked into a pole, then became single. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10730) - you deserved it (48646)
On 09/02/2009 at 5:21am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia
Today, I woke up to find the entire driver's side of my car wrecked. Front door, back door, front and rear bumper smashed to shit. A drunk driver had hit it the previous night and ran. Don't worry though, he stopped and left his insurance information. He keyed it into the undamaged side of my car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42552) - you deserved it (1627)
On 08/28/2009 at 10:56am - misc - by wtfman101 (man) - United States (California)
Today, as a supervisor at a water park, several clients came up to me and complained about a topless girl in our wave pool. I found the girl, called her out, and politely told her that she was not allowed in the pool without a top. "She" was a fat 15 year old boy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45745) - you deserved it (6354)
On 08/12/2009 at 4:13pm - misc - by auslander (man) - Switzerland (Zurich)
Today, while I was walking downtown a homeless person asked me for a dollar. I thought it would be funny to wave the dollar in his face and taunt him. I guess he thought it would be funny to stab me in the leg with a pencil. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14793) - you deserved it (354262)
On 08/06/2009 at 9:35am - misc - by who_could_it_be - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I had to call poison control because my idiot son swallowed a bunch of baking soda to "make a volcano in his tummy." FML
I agree, your life sucks (43286) - you deserved it (14840)
On 08/06/2009 at 2:13am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I found a pair of women's underwear in the laundry that wasn't mine. I confronted my boyfriend about it. They were his. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39792) - you deserved it (4968)
On 08/04/2009 at 4:21pm - love - by Angry (woman) - United States
Today, my 8 year old little sister said "f you" to my mom. My mom thought I told her to say that and grounded me for a month. Later, my sister came up to me and said "Gotcha, bitch." FML
I agree, your life sucks (45761) - you deserved it (2671)
On 07/30/2009 at 11:11am - kids - by Toaster (man) - United States (Virginia) - moderated by the Jackass crew
Today, my 9 year old niece asked me if I was a virgin. I told her, "Yes, I'm saving myself until marriage". She replied, "That's a load of bullshit, you just can't get a guy!" Sadly, she's right. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42268) - you deserved it (7468)
On 07/25/2009 at 5:55am - kids - by Kimberly (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my boss asked me if I know anything about those tattoos that girl put on their lower backs. "You mean Tramp Stamps?" I responded. He looked at me with hatred in his eyes and said that his 18 year old daughter just got one. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39794) - you deserved it (5815)
On 07/19/2009 at 3:25am - work - by Eh... (man) - Ukraine (Kyyivs'ka Oblast')
Today, I went to TGI Friday's with my crush. At the end of our meal, the waitress gave us mints with the bill. He said something that made me laugh, and I began choking on my mint. After a few coughs, I finally managed to get it out. It hit him in the forehead and landed in his drink. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35226) - you deserved it (4281)
On 07/16/2009 at 8:05pm - love - by CityGirl (woman) - United States (Alaska)
Today, I was working at the gas station. An old lady was watching me fill her gas tank. A really beautiful girl walked by. I lost concentration and overfilled the tank. I quickly pulled it out and squirted the old lady with a bit of petrol. She was smiling and gave a slight moan. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41513) - you deserved it (9492)
On 07/09/2009 at 1:50pm - intimacy - by Fattie (man) - Malaysia (Sarawak)
Monday 20 May 2013
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