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baseballplaya5

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baseballplaya5

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 20 May 1996 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2183
  • Number of comments : 83
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About baseballplaya5 : Gonna be a marine after high school, wanna know more email me jeff.shachory@yahoo.com

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baseballplaya5's favorite FMLs

Today, while I was cuddling with my girlfriend, she looked at me and leaned in. Thinking she was going to kiss me, I leaned too. Just as we were about to kiss, she screamed "COW KISSES" and somehow managed to lick my eyeball. FML

#19297004
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26472) - you deserved it (4419)

On 03/17/2012 at 10:32pm - love - by Brian - United States (Washington)

Today, I met my girlfriend's parents. Her huge, ex-Marine father took me out back, saying he wanted to show me something. That something was a machete. He savagely buried it in a tree stump and said, "Son, if you break my daughter's heart, that'll be your dick." FML

#19279132
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32829) - you deserved it (5845)

On 03/14/2012 at 9:06pm - intimacy - by PUA - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was watching a kid at school walk like a gangster. My teacher was standing there, so I stood behind the kid and walked like him, laughing to myself, at which point my teacher took me to one side and told me the kid was handicapped. FML

#19277499
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8750) - you deserved it (52772)

On 03/14/2012 at 4:13pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, my mother caught me masturbating. Trying to defuse the awkward tension, I said "Oh, I was just thinking about you!" Not a good idea. FML

#19239456
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14365) - you deserved it (49857)

On 03/08/2012 at 2:03pm - intimacy - by Fraser - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I texted my mom if she could pick me up from the hospital. She replied "No fatty, walk home." I have a broken foot. FML

#19226146
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31585) - you deserved it (2753)

On 03/06/2012 at 6:50am - health - by FootyFoot (man) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me through a text message. In retaliation, I started typing a long list of everything I hate about her. Just as I pressed the send button, she text me again saying "Just joking. You know I'd never leave you. Love you babe :)" FML

#19211804
320 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39669) - you deserved it (27387)

On 03/04/2012 at 12:02am - love - by Autocorrected (man) - Philippines (Bulacan)

Today, I had to tell my 7 year old son it's not polite to jack off in public. FML

#19126066
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31635) - you deserved it (4917)

On 02/20/2012 at 8:43pm - intimacy - by Gothicbunnyx3 - United States

Today, it's been one week since my demented grandma babysat my five-year-old daughter while my husband took me to a fancy restaurant. Now she's taken to screaming and calling me a "damn commie" whenever I discipline or say no to her. FML

#19102650
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20297) - you deserved it (5141)

On 02/17/2012 at 7:58pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I fought back with words against a bully. He cried, and I got detention. FML

#19085871
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34687) - you deserved it (2478)

On 02/15/2012 at 2:26pm - misc - by sharpie2792 - United States

Today, things were getting hot with my boyfriend and I started to breathe heavy and moan. He then says to me, "Babe, can you calm down, we're having sex not running a marathon." FML

#19039141
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30926) - you deserved it (6432)

On 02/10/2012 at 12:31am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while waiting outside a liquor store for my boyfriend, a drunk guy leaned over my shoulder, took a large bite out of my burger, and walked away. FML

#18913819
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27117) - you deserved it (3786)

On 01/26/2012 at 2:34am - misc - by RequilaRainbow - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I fell and sprained my ankle while trying to step into my underwear. FML

#18904758
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24726) - you deserved it (5904)

On 01/25/2012 at 1:32am - health - by ???? - United States

Today, I woke up to someone screaming "FIRE!" When I sat up, my face went right into my room-mate's ballsack. Apparently it was funny. FML

#18625590
277 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33611) - you deserved it (5322)

On 12/27/2011 at 2:53pm - misc - by ericane27 - United States

Today, I realized my wife often switches the TV channel from the crime dramas we both like, to Hollywood gossip shows that I can't stand, just to get me to leave the room. From the other room, I can see that she switches back once I've left. She's probably been doing this for years. FML

#18592801
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28457) - you deserved it (3133)

On 12/23/2011 at 9:24pm - love - by unwanted (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, after having recently moved 300 miles to be with my boyfriend of 2 years, I have to celebrate Christmas alone. He never thought our relationship important enough to tell his family about me, and doesn't want it to be "awkward." FML

#18592385
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29047) - you deserved it (4427)

On 12/23/2011 at 8:32pm - love - by FML (woman) - Sweden (Kronobergs Lan)



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