Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
About barnee26 : FML is one of my favorite websites, mainly because i love reading anecdotes in which people suffer.. you've guessed it, i'm not a creepy. sadistic sociopath, who owns a dungeon in their basement, where he regularly lets loose of his perverted fantasies...In all seriousness, I'm just an average guy from Hungary (spare me the 'hungry' jokes), with a passion for Harry Potter, The Song of Ice and Fire, and all kinds of crap... I speak 3 languages, Hungarian, English, aaaaand a bit of French.As my profile pic suggests, my deepest aspiration is to become a ghost upon death, to float about in the ether, observing naked human beings, and all the while, making bits of gooey ectoplasm fly all around the place until the end of time... Ah, sweet dreams...
Usually i'm just lurking around in the shadows, reading fmls and doing whatever people do here.. soo that's about it. If, by any wondrous reason, you want to message me, feel free to do it! :D
tl;dr: I'm a freak
Between your Facebook account and your FML account, things are no longer complicated: their relationship is official. We like this.
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.
Today, I was baking cookies. I stared at them for 15 minutes and finally asked my dad, "Why are these taking so long?" He looked up at the oven and replied, "It might help if you turn the oven on." FML
Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML
Today, my husband dropped me off at work. Ten minutes later I got a text saying "I just dropped the b*tch off I'll be there in a few baby, miss you". I asked him about it. He said, "I don't know what you're talking about, Megan". My name isn't Megan. Not even close. FML
Thursday 23 April 2015