About barlessprison : I have bad taste and I'm always eating at any given point in time.
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
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Perfectionist
Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.
Today, I realized that the drunk-me deletes my texts, so the sober-me doesn't get mad. Well turns out, whatever the drunk-me said, caused me to lose my job, my girlfriend, and my coffee machine. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9219) - you deserved it (34222)
On 11/01/2009 at 11:35am - misc - by Joe (man) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I ran into a car. I suffered a concussion and broke my nose. I wasn't driving. I walked right into it. It was parked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7217) - you deserved it (27943)
On 10/26/2009 at 2:35am - misc - by munchkin - Sent from mobile version
Today, I went outside to enjoy the cool air without my glasses. I saw my neighbor doing the same, so I waved and said hi. When she didn't respond, I yelled and went back inside. It was only later when I went back out with my glasses on that I realized I was being ignored by a Halloween decoration. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6228) - you deserved it (20576)
On 10/16/2009 at 9:39am - misc - by Phazzer (man) - United States (Arizona)
Today, I was in a work meeting because our clientele is unhappy with our service. I was in there because I don't correct our customers when they get my name wrong. My name is Blane, but "Blair", "Blake", "Lane", and "Glenn" got rave reviews. No one picked up on this. I hate my job. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19124) - you deserved it (3132)
On 10/15/2009 at 8:33am - work - by Blanerd (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I am in a very long line at the supermarket, gazing about in complete boredom when I spot a lady cradling what appears to be a cute newborn baby. Being enamored of all babies, I get off the line, go over and say "Oh, what a cute little baby!" The lady was holding a coconut. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6405) - you deserved it (36531)
On 10/10/2009 at 6:35pm - misc - by BEE (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was fired from a job I didn't have. The manager in charge of calling me to tell me if I got the job never called, and never called me back when I left messages. The only time he called me was to fire me for not coming to orientation, which, by the way, he never called to tell me about. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31555) - you deserved it (1717)
On 10/10/2009 at 3:23am - work - by superjesse006 (man) - United States (Oregon)
Today, when approaching a stop light on my motorcycle, I went to extend my left leg as usual to balance when stopped. Apparently my shoelace loop got wrapped around the shift lever and "tied" my shoe to the bike. It's hard to look cool when you fall over for no apparent reason at a stoplight. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26882) - you deserved it (5563)
On 10/06/2009 at 1:33pm - misc - by Crotch_Rocket_Rider (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I got an email from the company that manages my Cat's microchip informing me that I had to update my information that had been entered by the local Humane Society. Apparently, they listed my cat "Coral" as the owner, and me as the pet. To change it, they needed the cat's signature. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40785) - you deserved it (2979)
On 10/05/2009 at 3:23pm - animals - by APetsPet (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, being the nice grandchild that I am, I went to visit my grandmother. She didn't recognise who I was. I thought she was joking. She later called the police as 'some weirdo had walked into her house.' I am that weirdo, she wasn't joking. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26283) - you deserved it (1720)
On 10/02/2009 at 3:46am - misc - by forgotten (man) - United Kingdom (Peterborough)
Today, I was on my computer when the girl that I really like instant-messages me. I went to type back, accidentally pressed control-V, and posted an entire article on how to remove genital warts. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10628) - you deserved it (30759)
On 10/01/2009 at 1:58am - health - by Garrett (man) - United States (Oregon) - moderated by Kevin Nealon
Today, I had a big exam. 20 minutes in I could feel people turning round looking at me. I ignored them at first, but towards the one hour mark it got more distracting. I stood up and yelled "Why's everyone staring at me!" I got kicked out. Turns out I was seated directly in front of the clock. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6609) - you deserved it (33439)
On 09/30/2009 at 9:36am - misc - by failfailfail - United Kingdom (London)
Today, I went to eat with my girlfriend, her parents and my mother. My mother complained about every aspect of the service. When I told her she needed to assert herself, she took her pocketbook and hit me over the head. The whole restaurant stared at us while she yelled "Is that assertive enough?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (24326) - you deserved it (4464)
On 09/29/2009 at 7:31am - misc - by User06606 (man) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I learned that if you're going to tell your mother you are gay, make sure she isn't holding a frying pan filled with hot grease. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49971) - you deserved it (1462)
On 09/28/2009 at 5:00pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I learned to check inside the oven before you preheat it. Sometimes children hide their pet rabbit in there. FML
I agree, your life sucks (58478) - you deserved it (8020)
On 09/28/2009 at 3:15am - misc - by ripfluffy (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, I was walking whilst texting. I thought I was was going in a straight line but I ended up walking right into an open phone booth. A woman was inside making a phone call. I lost my balance, pinning her up against the wall. She thought I was attacking her and clobbered me with the receiver. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6691) - you deserved it (33963)
On 09/27/2009 at 11:59am - misc - by absentmindedmoron (man) - United Kingdom (Peterborough)
Monday 20 May 2013
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