Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

barlessprison

Offline (the 09/08/2014 at 4:17pm) | Search for a member

barlessprison

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 28 June 1992 (22 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 64998
  • Number of comments : 326
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About barlessprison : I have bad taste and I'm always eating at any given point in time.

barlessprison's page activity

Visits<b>tchatfield9413</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 9:10pm<b>Journiexo</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 11:09am<b>aditya831</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 1:13am<b>skiddymarker</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 11:08pm<b>Aero_x</b> - the 06/29/2014 at 12:17am<b>Juicenub</b> - the 06/23/2014 at 12:27pm<b>Erin2009</b> - the 06/16/2014 at 4:07pm<b>mansfield_j</b> - the 06/06/2014 at 10:41am<b>spiers1</b> - the 06/03/2014 at 3:42am<b>MsRenoldsEA</b> - the 05/31/2014 at 12:12am<b>yusi1891</b> - the 05/26/2014 at 10:35am<b>sawq1023</b> - the 05/24/2014 at 4:50am<b>cwl727</b> - the 05/02/2014 at 12:52pm<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/27/2014 at 11:54am<b>Kitty19</b> - the 04/19/2014 at 11:44pm<b>SchindlersLiszt</b> - the 03/21/2014 at 6:37pm<b>Baller_Bob</b> - the 02/22/2014 at 12:27am<b>sybyabraham</b> - the 01/22/2014 at 5:43pm

barlessprison's FML badges

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

See all of barlessprison's badges

barlessprison's favorite FMLs

Today, I dropped my pencil in Bio and I leaned over to attempt to pick it up. Next thing you know it I tipped the desk over and I crashed onto my crush's lap with my face in his crotch. FML

#6722674
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30425) - you deserved it (5797)

On 12/12/2009 at 1:29pm - misc - by colorfulgina (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend finally invited me over to his parents house so I could meet them. My boyfriend, his dad and I were sitting in the living room, when I saw a really sketchy person outside, so I said, "There is some creepy hobo man outside, messing with your trash." The "creepy hobo" was his mom. FML

#6658638
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9405) - you deserved it (35515)

On 12/08/2009 at 12:09am - love - by CheLi (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was taking a placement test for the new college I am going to. After the test and picking up a few numbers, I left with great pride. I opened the door and started walking out. I then realized that I had walked into the closet. FML

#6632044
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9114) - you deserved it (23434)

On 12/06/2009 at 9:58am - misc - by Wrongdoor (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, while on the phone with a client at work, I was planning on saying either "Yeah." or "Uh-huh." Without thinking, I combined the two and ended up saying "Yee-hah," like a cowboy. FML

#6550671
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11676) - you deserved it (29677)

On 12/01/2009 at 12:25pm - work - by Jen (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I got out of the wrong side of the bed. Into a wall. FML

#6475314
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12035) - you deserved it (25068)

On 11/27/2009 at 5:11am - misc - by Nick (man) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, as I left class I felt a tug on my rucksack from behind. Thinking it was just someone deliberately dragging me back, I struggled to let myself free and shouted "Let go!". I looked over my shoulder just to find that one the straps was trapped in the doorhandle. Everyone was in hysterics. FML

#6369387
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9683) - you deserved it (24182)

On 11/19/2009 at 3:06pm - misc - by betamaxjim (man) - United Kingdom (Kirklees)

Today, I noticed that in my cover letter I wrote "I also have an eye.", instead of "I also have an eye for details.", and I have been sending it out for the past few weeks. No wonder I haven't gotten any replies. FML

#6299927
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8214) - you deserved it (26803)

On 11/14/2009 at 11:52am - work - by crazylobster (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I returned home for the first time in a year, and found my entire computer missing. I asked my grandma about this, and she told me that she threw "the TV" away because it "no longer responded to the remote control." FML

#6270812
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37537) - you deserved it (2666)

On 11/12/2009 at 9:36am - misc - by missmycomp (man) - Singapore

Today, I was texting while making dinner. I went to pour the noodles into the boiling water and I dropped my phone in. Not thinking, I went to retrieve it from the water. I now have a completely useless phone and a useless hand. FML

#6262427
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9509) - you deserved it (33417)

On 11/11/2009 at 7:04pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I started the day at my local Starbucks. I was greeted with smiles from everyone I made eye contact with and left the store feeling really good about myself. I got home and checked myself out in the mirror, only to realize I had cut myself shaving and my neck was covered in dried blood. FML

Today, I was falling asleep on my desk, my head on my fist. My elbow slipped off the edge of the desk and I punched myself, leaving a fist mark on my cheek. At school, people think my parents hit me. My parents think I'm getting bullied at school. No one believes the actual story. FML

Today, I ran into a bird. Not with my car, with my face. It was so scared, it crapped all over me. FML

#6207441
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30565) - you deserved it (3128)

On 11/08/2009 at 2:26am - animals - by birdbath (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, there was something itching me in my bed, it was the tag to my pillow case. I ripped it off, very hard and slipped and punched myself right in the face. I broke my nose. FML

#6185536
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23748) - you deserved it (9540)

On 11/06/2009 at 6:37pm - health - by jellybean (woman) - United States

Today, the city shut off the water at my house because my roommate thought that the water bills he had been hoarding were "suggestions." FML

#6118488
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28010) - you deserved it (2804)

On 11/02/2009 at 12:30pm - money - by parched (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I realized that the drunk-me deletes my texts, so the sober-me doesn't get mad. Well turns out, whatever the drunk-me said, caused me to lose my job, my girlfriend, and my coffee machine. FML

#6100010
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11887) - you deserved it (44947)

On 11/01/2009 at 11:35am - misc - by Joe (man) - United States (Wisconsin)



FML's blog

  • Matteor's illustrated FML #2
  • So, is everyone back from their vacation? Can we get back to regular programming? No? OK, I get it. You're all still crying about not being at the beach any more, well, I am anyway. And this time of year…

Thursday 11 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: