Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

barlessprison

Search for a member

barlessprison
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 28 June 1992 (21 years)
  • Number of visits : 63542
  • Number of comments : 326
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About barlessprison : I have bad taste and I'm always eating at any given point in time.

barlessprison's last visitors

Kitty19cwl727SchindlersLisztBaller_Bobsybyabrahamannabanana0328Nightskyraalexmac222hook_em67swampbaby985

barlessprison's FML badges

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

See all of barlessprison's badges

barlessprison's favorite FMLs

Today, at work, I brewed myself a fresh cup of coffee. I set the hot coffee onto my desk. My phone rang so I answered my coffee, spilling it all over my face and body. FML

#6902851
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9339) - you deserved it (21474)

On 12/23/2009 at 1:42pm - work - by chris (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was changing the oil on my car. I decided to pretend I was delivering a baby as I was removing the oil filter. I got really into it and was screaming things like "I see the head," and when I removed it, I said "Oh, it's a boy!" As I reach for my rag to clean it, I saw my neighbor's boots. FML

#6803629
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5628) - you deserved it (34742)

On 12/17/2009 at 11:29pm - misc - by nwalsh2009 (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I dropped my pencil in Bio and I leaned over to attempt to pick it up. Next thing you know it I tipped the desk over and I crashed onto my crush's lap with my face in his crotch. FML

#6722674
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28938) - you deserved it (5619)

On 12/12/2009 at 1:29pm - misc - by colorfulgina (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend finally invited me over to his parents house so I could meet them. My boyfriend, his dad and I were sitting in the living room, when I saw a really sketchy person outside, so I said, "There is some creepy hobo man outside, messing with your trash." The "creepy hobo" was his mom. FML

#6658638
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8764) - you deserved it (33891)

On 12/08/2009 at 12:09am - love - by CheLi (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was taking a placement test for the new college I am going to. After the test and picking up a few numbers, I left with great pride. I opened the door and started walking out. I then realized that I had walked into the closet. FML

#6632044
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8255) - you deserved it (21555)

On 12/06/2009 at 9:58am - misc - by Wrongdoor (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, while on the phone with a client at work, I was planning on saying either "Yeah." or "Uh-huh." Without thinking, I combined the two and ended up saying "Yee-hah," like a cowboy. FML

#6550671
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10461) - you deserved it (28240)

On 12/01/2009 at 12:25pm - work - by Jen (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I got out of the wrong side of the bed. Into a wall. FML

#6475314
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10507) - you deserved it (23224)

On 11/27/2009 at 5:11am - misc - by Nick (man) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, as I left class I felt a tug on my rucksack from behind. Thinking it was just someone deliberately dragging me back, I struggled to let myself free and shouted "Let go!". I looked over my shoulder just to find that one the straps was trapped in the doorhandle. Everyone was in hysterics. FML

#6369387
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8519) - you deserved it (21881)

On 11/19/2009 at 3:06pm - misc - by betamaxjim (man) - United Kingdom (Kirklees)

Today, I noticed that in my cover letter I wrote "I also have an eye.", instead of "I also have an eye for details.", and I have been sending it out for the past few weeks. No wonder I haven't gotten any replies. FML

#6299927
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7707) - you deserved it (25614)

On 11/14/2009 at 11:52am - work - by crazylobster (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I returned home for the first time in a year, and found my entire computer missing. I asked my grandma about this, and she told me that she threw "the TV" away because it "no longer responded to the remote control." FML

#6270812
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34781) - you deserved it (2462)

On 11/12/2009 at 9:36am - misc - by missmycomp (man) - Singapore

Today, I was texting while making dinner. I went to pour the noodles into the boiling water and I dropped my phone in. Not thinking, I went to retrieve it from the water. I now have a completely useless phone and a useless hand. FML

#6262427
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9080) - you deserved it (32138)

On 11/11/2009 at 7:04pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I started the day at my local Starbucks. I was greeted with smiles from everyone I made eye contact with and left the store feeling really good about myself. I got home and checked myself out in the mirror, only to realize I had cut myself shaving and my neck was covered in dried blood. FML

Today, I was falling asleep on my desk, my head on my fist. My elbow slipped off the edge of the desk and I punched myself, leaving a fist mark on my cheek. At school, people think my parents hit me. My parents think I'm getting bullied at school. No one believes the actual story. FML

Today, I ran into a bird. Not with my car, with my face. It was so scared, it crapped all over me. FML

#6207441
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25624) - you deserved it (2399)

On 11/08/2009 at 2:26am - animals - by birdbath (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, there was something itching me in my bed, it was the tag to my pillow case. I ripped it off, very hard and slipped and punched myself right in the face. I broke my nose. FML

#6185536
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22208) - you deserved it (9202)

On 11/06/2009 at 6:37pm - health - by jellybean (woman) - United States



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: