Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

barlessprison

Offline (the 10/17/2014 at 12:24pm) | Search for a member

barlessprison

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 28 June 1992 (22 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 65383
  • Number of comments : 326
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About barlessprison : I have bad taste and I'm always eating at any given point in time.

barlessprison's page activity

Visits<b>suckmideck</b> - 12 hours ago<b>rocker_chick23</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 10:02pm<b>Juicenub</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 4:51pm<b>jinx1995</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 5:22pm<b>Usuario</b> - the 10/05/2014 at 10:46pm<b>tagallopes</b> - the 10/04/2014 at 12:35am<b>Cortezthe1st</b> - the 09/17/2014 at 12:30pm<b>tchatfield9413</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 9:10pm<b>Journiexo</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 11:09am<b>aditya831</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 1:13am<b>skiddymarker</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 11:08pm<b>Aero_x</b> - the 06/29/2014 at 12:17am<b>Erin2009</b> - the 06/16/2014 at 4:07pm<b>mansfield_j</b> - the 06/06/2014 at 10:41am<b>spiers1</b> - the 06/03/2014 at 3:42am<b>MsRenoldsEA</b> - the 05/31/2014 at 12:12am<b>yusi1891</b> - the 05/26/2014 at 10:35am<b>sawq1023</b> - the 05/24/2014 at 4:50am

barlessprison's FML badges

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

See all of barlessprison's badges

barlessprison's favorite FMLs

Today, my grandma told me to fuck off when I tried to help her with the dishes. FML

#7391871
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28776) - you deserved it (5816)

On 01/17/2010 at 1:31am - love - by volleyballgirl12 - Sent from mobile version

Today, while at work at a maternity and baby clothes store, I was supposed to send out an email about our "Beat the Clock" sale. After it was sent to over 500 people, I realized that I'd misspelled the subject line. It read, "Beat the Cock Sale." FML

#7336635
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11766) - you deserved it (28405)

On 01/14/2010 at 10:55am - work - by Oops (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my brother and his friend ambushed me, tied me to a chair, and put a sock in my mouth. My mom found me 10 minutes later, took the sock out, and asked, "Why are you tied to a chair?" I told her what happened. She looked at me, laughed, stuffed the sock back in my mouth, and left. FML

#7319771
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35355) - you deserved it (4438)

On 01/13/2010 at 2:36pm - misc - by boundandgagged (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was at a band practice. The band was talking to each other with language like "cadence", "resolution" and "consecutive fifths". When they spoke to me, they used terms like "tick", "bong", "ticky bong"; and "bongy tick". Musically, I feel like a baboon. FML

#7233088
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20157) - you deserved it (6121)

On 01/09/2010 at 8:48am - misc - by Fredgruff (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I was on a long-haul plane journey home from my holiday. After 5 hours, I decided to stretch my arms whilst watching a movie. Little did I know that a little girl was approaching, running down the aisle as my arm stretched out. I accidentally clothes-lined a little 9 year old girl. FML

#7203649
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26568) - you deserved it (3510)

On 01/07/2010 at 7:25pm - misc - by James4929 (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I was playing around on Photo Booth, using weird effects on pictures of myself. I clicked on one and thought to myself that it was a really ugly effect. Then I noticed that it was set on normal. FML

#7183018
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16923) - you deserved it (22482)

On 01/06/2010 at 4:05pm - misc - by ugly5402 (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my best friend was texting me about her sick dog. She wrote "Do you think she will get better?", so I wrote "I hope she does". It wasn't until later that I realized I accidentally wrote "I hope she dies" instead. FML

#7154032
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30904) - you deserved it (8472)

On 01/04/2010 at 10:32pm - animals - by poordog (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, while on the treadmill, my iPod fell and shot out underneath my feet. I got off to get it, and when I tried to get back on, I slipped and fell on my face on the moving track. The whole gym watched me get beat up by a treadmill and clapped when I finally got back on. FML

#7124600
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25480) - you deserved it (5694)

On 01/03/2010 at 11:28am - health - by i-should-probably-stick-to-swimming (man) - United States (California)

Today, I realized that I have been playing a little too much Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2. I realized this when I was watching a youtube video and there was someone walking in the background who I impulsively tried to gun down and kill by moving my mouse over him and clicking repeatedly. FML

#7096414
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6145) - you deserved it (32005)

On 01/02/2010 at 1:17am - misc - by Laughluv (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was at work and I had to take a dump. Since I was the only person in the bathroom, I started singing, "I'm taking a poopy-poop poop poop poop." I was not the only person in the bathroom. FML

#7050962
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8112) - you deserved it (57037)

On 12/31/2009 at 3:06am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I decided to have a midnight snack. I figured I knew my own house well enough to leave the lights off so my mom wouldn't wake up. Chuckling at the brilliance of my plan, I walked straight into a doorframe and bust up my nose. FML

#7031630
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6993) - you deserved it (25607)

On 12/30/2009 at 6:30am - health - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, my entire extended family was over for Christmas. I opened a gift to see that it was a fruitcake and saw everyone looking at me, smiling. This is their way to tell me that they know I'm gay and that they accept me. I'm straight. FML

#6940089
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33267) - you deserved it (3332)

On 12/25/2009 at 2:34pm - misc - by notgay (man) - United States (California)

Today, at work a female co-worker was struggling with a stack of boxes in her hands. Her pantyhose was falling down and she asked me to help her. So I pulled up her pantyhose. When I looked up, she had a horrified look on her face. She was asking me to help her hold the boxes. FML

#6934352
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7434) - you deserved it (48735)

On 12/25/2009 at 3:10am - work - by harrassment101 (man) - United States (California)

Today, at work, I brewed myself a fresh cup of coffee. I set the hot coffee onto my desk. My phone rang so I answered my coffee, spilling it all over my face and body. FML

#6902851
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10513) - you deserved it (23697)

On 12/23/2009 at 1:42pm - work - by chris (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was changing the oil on my car. I decided to pretend I was delivering a baby as I was removing the oil filter. I got really into it and was screaming things like "I see the head," and when I removed it, I said "Oh, it's a boy!" As I reach for my rag to clean it, I saw my neighbor's boots. FML

#6803629
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6848) - you deserved it (38037)

On 12/17/2009 at 11:29pm - misc - by nwalsh2009 (man) - United States (Wisconsin)



FML's blog

  • Krumla's Illustrated FML
  • It's Friday, so a bold font is required. I was sitting in my caravan by the side of busy road cooking cocktail sausages over a gas stove when I realised it was time to start writing something about this…

Friday 24 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: